When I pictured being a mom, I realized that it would be necessary to have rules of conduct for my child. That being said, after over 6 years of being a mom, I have compiled a list of rules I never expected to need:
Do not cut the screen out of its frame in the window. (The need for this one arose when she was 6.)
Do not put anything in your ear, including rocks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4.)
Do not put anything in your nose, including wooden sticks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4)
Which led to: Do not put anything in any body part for any reason unless a parent says it is okay, with the exception of food or drink in your mouth.
Do not cook eggs on the stove without a parent’s presence and permission. (About age 7: this one is harder to justify because the one time that she did cook the eggs by herself, she did a good job and remembered to turn the stove off, which is more than I do sometimes!)
Do not try to pierce your ears with the end of a paper clip, even if it looks like an earring hole is there. (Age 6 and 7).
The controls on the dashboard in the car, including the radio, are MINE! Please leave them alone. (This has been a running battle ever since she was old enough to ride in the front without a car seat.)
Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you. (Age 6).
Do not dump the entire bottle of shampoo in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
Do not dump the entire bottle of liquid soap from the sink in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
Do not dump the entire bottle of conditioner in the tub for reasons I have yet to understand. (Ages 6 through 8).
It’s not a good idea, either, to dump all of the bathroom dixie cups in the bathroom sink and then fill it up with water. (Age 6, but she had help from a visiting 4 year old.)
Do not wash your hair with conditioner only. (Age 8 through 9).
Soap is required for a bath to really be a bath. (Age 5).
And, last but not least,
Paper is not a proper treat to give a dog. (Age 9). (Darwin and Mandy liked it but at least Tyra was smart enough to say no. I guess I should be grateful Kayla didn’t decide to hand out socks for all!)
Have a good day everyone!