Morning All!
The post yesterday over at The Big Sheep Blog was about “The Man-Cave Classifieds.” After reading it, I started wondering about the concept of the Mom-cave, and decided it could never work.
Wikipedia has a page long entry devoted to the definition of the man-cave, its purpose, and its design. According to Wikipedia, “A man cave, sometimes a mantuary or manspace, is a male sanctuary such as a specially equipped garage, spare bedroom, media room, den, or basement.” (To my friend over at The Big Sheep Blog – I know you don’t like the phrase “man cave”, but “mantuary” to me is even worse! Just the sound of it is jarring, like nails on a blackboard.) Over at The Urban Dictionary, where apparently people supply their own definitions, one particularly thorough definition was listed as follows:
A room, space, corner or area of a dwelling that is specifically reserved for a male person to be in a solitary condition, away from the rest of the household in order to work, play, involve himself in certain hobbies, activities without interruption. This area is usually decorated by the male [who] uses it without interference from any female influence.
Having read through some other definitions, there seem to be two key components to the “man cave” – 1) it is decorated solely by the male, and 2) no interruptions. I find one of these requirements peculiar and the other unenforceable.
The decoration part is confusing to me because, in our house, decorating decisions are arrived at (mostly) jointly. It may take us a while to agree but once we do, we can be certain of two things: 1) whatever it is will look really, really good, and 2) it will be one of the more expensive of the class of items we have been reviewing. We don’t deliberately go for expensive; it just seems to happen that way. We each have two areas which are supposed to be off-limits to others, too – Mark’s is the garage, where he keeps his tools, although both Kayla and I could be cited for trespassing on a continuous basis and mine is my craft closet, which Kayla visits at least once a week during the Sunday nap ritual and anytime else she needs something she knows I keep in there.
I wondered whether, since the concept of the “man-cave” seems to be on the rise, the time has come for the invention of the Mom-cave, but decided that it would never work. The second component, non-interruption, is where the concept of a Mom-cave would fall apart. (In our house, with three dogs and one child, the Man-cave would not fare any better.)
I know this because I tried to imagine how a Mom-cave for sewing might work in my house, picking a Sunday afternoon session for two hours while my husband was taking a nap. In doing so, I counted three interruptions and one final forced entry with intent to stay by Kayla, two forced entries by the three dogs, and numerous stops and starts to retrieve any scrap of fabric, needle, or other sewing appliance that either of the Twins of Trouble (Darwin and Mandy) thought looked attractive enough to chew. At the end of the two hours I was supposed to have in isolation to sew, the small room I would be using (the guest bedroom) would contain myself, sewing stuff spread over the bed, one 9-year-old daughter, one very long dog, one very large dog, and a sweet old dog who will not have given me a particle of trouble the whole time, and my grand accomplishments would be limited to the set-up and threading of the machine, and the sewing of one or two seams.
That, my friends, is why the concept of the Mom-cave will never take root.
In the interests of full disclosure, I can take a weekend nap without interruption if I bring Tyra and Mandy into the bedroom with me, and lock the bedroom door so that Kayla can’t slip in for us to argue about whether she has to let me sleep or not. At least, that is, until Mandy decides it is time for me to get up, which usually ranges anywhere from two to three hours or sooner if she senses anyone else eating anywhere in the house, at which point she starts walking on my hair.
Have a good day everyone!
Nancy
Tales from the Mom-Side 
I agree – “mantuary” is a horrible term. More to the point, I agree that a Mom Cave is impossible, since moms can’t even go to the bathroom without interruption. Still, it’s a lovely fantasy…
Oh, the bathroom interruptions occur at your house too?
Oh for a sewing room with a door and a lock!!! Instead of the kitchen table!
I have quilting projects that haven’t seen the light of day in 13 years (Caitlin is 13 , imagine that)!
I am sure it is just a conincidence that the two dates coordinate!
Nancy
I like the concept of a mom-cave but it would have to be understood with family members what that means and they would have to respect it!!! Highly unlikely this would happen but it may be worth a try.
Let me know how it goes for you and then I will try it!
Nancy
Yes, I agree with you on the mom-cave, Nancy. Men would argue the mom-cave is something like a kitchen, bathroom, etc. It is true that we cannot even go to the loo without someone needing something.
In my case, I have a 2 year old toddler so it is best to take him along to the bathroom when I go as I don’t know what he will get up to when my back is turned.
Hopefully you will enjoy a good afternoon nap this weekend, Nancy!
Hi Lynne! I hope you can get a nap somewhere along the line, even with a 2 year old. I understand about needing to know where your toddler is. When Kayla was three, Mark and I took a nap, and Kayla was supposed to be sleeping too. She found make-up, especially lip stick, in my purse and went to town with it. Mark said when he found here, she looked like a clown that had gone wild with its make up. (She didn’t realize that lipstick was not blush and eyeshadow, also.) Unfortunately, he was too aggravated to take a picture, so that tops my list of the many pictures I wish we had the chance to take! Have a good weekend! This weekend is a holiday weekend here; Monday is Memorial Day, the day we remember all of the people who have died serving the United States. Does your country have a similar holiday, and is it this weekend?
Nancy
I can remember a time, while my mom was napping and I went to town with my mom’s make-up. I wanted to look like a princess. Now my son and nephew get hold of my mom’s lipstick and sometimes also paint their faces. Once I caught my nephew in the bum cream (to prevent nappy rash), he must have been about 18 months. I was fortunate to capture the moments he was caught and with his face full of cream. It’s funny how in those instances we are so angry but it is important to try take photos as it is those moments we laugh about one day.
I hope you will have a good long weekend. We don’t really have remembrance days like that but South Africa is a country once divided according to black and white, it was Apartheid. So, we have lots of holidays remembering the freedom struggle. One day in particular is Youth Day, on June 16, a day when all the African students rioted against the Apartheid government forcing them to be educated in Afrikaans (not their mother-tongue). In SA, we have 11 official languages so that no one will feel discriminated against. We also have Freedom Day, Human rights day. All these holidays are entrenched from our stuggle for equal rights for all.
Now, I have given you half a South African history lesson.
Enjoy your weekend with your family!
But I find it fascinating! How does it work to have 11 official languages? What language is used in the University and for government functions? How many languages do you speak? I remember the struggle to end apartheid as shown on the news over here.
You have a good weekend too!
Nancy