Tag Archives: Swedish Chef

Please Help Me Make A Decision!

Hello Everyone!

Over at Writers Who Kill, I need to submit a photograph of myself doing something nefarious.  As a champion procrastinator, I’ve known I’ve needed to add my own picture for months, but there is one giant obstacle – I am the least nefarious person I know.  It’s beyond just looking harmless.  People stop me in stores to ask for help when they can’t locate an employee.  When I was among the 10 to 15 people who walked around the local junior college on a daily basis for exercise, I was the one whom strangers pulled up beside to ask for directions.  Unfortunately for them, I’m not great at giving directions.  In the pre-Google-map era, I sent an attorney trying to find my office past our town to another, smaller town 18 miles to our northeast.

I digress.  The point is that I am harmless and look helpful, which on a scale from 1 to 10 places my nefariousness somewhere around -5.  Then there’s the whole inferiority complex sparked by the creativity of my fellow bloggers.  I am still star struck by the other writers who blog for Writers Who Kill and the amusingly nefarious pictures on the left hand side of that blog page (https://writerswhokill.blogspot.com/2019/01/decision-by-nancy-eady.html).

          But I had to find some way to look nefarious.  So I started by taking a selfie wielding a knife.  The result?  I bear an uncanny resemblance to the Swedish Chef on the Muppets.

swedish chef

The Swedish Chef

knife 1 cropped

The Steak Knife and Me

Since I found the selfie unimpressive, I decided to think through things a little more, and enlisted my husband to help me.  After rummaging through our hall closet (since it’s distantly related to Fibber McGee’s closet, that counts as hazardous duty), we came up with another idea to establish nefariousness.

gun 2

The dog in the foreground does rather spoil the effect, but she’s our “helper” dog and insists on being involved with everything.  However, with the magic of modern technology, she is easily edited out, leaving me with the following:

gun 1 cropped

          My husband said the picture would look better if I wasn’t smiling, so we tried again.  You will note that the dog still found it necessary to be in the picture.

gun 2

Cropped, the final result comes out like this:

gun 2 cropped

So, gentle readers, which picture is the best candidate for nefariousness?  I could use your advice!

Have a great day Everyone!






How To Make Killer Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

Good morning everyone!

Swedish Chef from the Muppet show

The Swedish Chef, from the Muppet show

Today is a historic day for this blog, since it is the first time since I started it that I am going to share a (sort of) recipe with you.  And yes, the fact that it has taken more than a year and the 254th post before I got around to sharing one with you is a true reflection of my proclivities towards cooking.

In case the regular readers of this blog haven’t been able to tell yet, I really like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.  (I might have mentioned this a time or two.)  For food that is meant to be convenient comfort food, however, I am very finicky about the kind that I use and the way that it is fixed.

Baby lambs

A picture of the new-born lambs up at thekitchensgarden taken just under a month ago.

Note to Celi at TheKitchensGarden:  I know you are already shuddering at the processed food this involves, but hang with me here anyhow!  For the rest of you who are wondering, Celi provides delicious recipes regularly on her blog, TheKitchensGarden, but does not use or fix processed foods of any kind.  I admire her for it, but am not yet inspired to follow her example.

Varieties of Kraft Macaroni 'N Cheese

Just a few of the bewildering varieties of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese now available.

First, you need to understand that all Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is not created equally.  For my Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, you need the original, no frills, basic Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, original flavor, in the slim rectangular familiar blue and yellow box with the cheese in powder form.  You can usually recognize this variety by the label “The Cheesiest” printed across the bottom of the front of the box.

Original Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

The One and Only Incomparable Original Kraft Macaroni N’ Cheese

As basic as this type of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is – it is, in fact, the original Kraft Macaroni and Cheese – it may surprise you to learn that the test kitchens at Kraft have not yet discovered the best way to fix it.  I would have thought that someone would have stumbled onto this up there, but since it is not listed on the box, I have to take credit for the discovery myself.  Here is the recipe for truly fantastic Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

Take 1 box of the original Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.  Place enough water in a one or two-quart boiler (please do not use a larger pan) to fit the amount of macaroni in the box comfortably, and bring it to a boil.  Once the water reaches a boil, put the macaroni in the boiling water, reduce the heat from High if you have it on High to about 8 on your cooktop or range, and cook the macaroni for seven minutes only.

It is very important to remove the macaroni after seven minutes.  Too many more seconds after that, and the macaroni is too soggy and water-logged.

Drain the macaroni in a sieve quickly but fairly thoroughly, and return it to the boiler but away from heat.  Add 3 tablespoons of butter, sliced up, and the cheese packet to the macaroni and stir until the butter and cheese are well mixed up and melted consistently together.  Serve as soon as possible while hot, and do not store left overs, since this does not reheat well.

What you get is pure comfort food, with a delightful hint of sharpness in the cheese that you do not get if 1) the macaroni is over cooked and 2) if you add too much butter or any milk.

I have on one occasion made two boxes together at the urging of my mother; that turned out well, but I prefer to make a single box at a time when I can.  That way I can ensure the correct distribution of the cheese mix and butter over the macaroni.

If this seems a little too finicky for you for the preparation of a convenience food, I understand completely, but try it at least once.  I think you’ll agree with me that this is, in fact, the best way to make truly Killer Kraft Macaroni and Cheese!

Have a great day everyone!