When I pictured being a mom, I realized that it would be necessary to have rules of conduct for my child. That being said, after over 6 years of being a mom, I have compiled a list of rules I never expected to need:
Do not cut the screen out of its frame in the window. (The need for this one arose when she was 6.)
Do not put anything in your ear, including rocks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4.)
Do not put anything in your nose, including wooden sticks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4)
Which led to: Do not put anything in any body part for any reason unless a parent says it is okay, with the exception of food or drink in your mouth.
Do not cook eggs on the stove without a parent’s presence and permission. (About age 7: this one is harder to justify because the one time that she did cook the eggs by herself, she did a good job and remembered to turn the stove off, which is more than I do sometimes!)
Do not try to pierce your ears with the end of a paper clip, even if it looks like an earring hole is there. (Age 6 and 7).
The controls on the dashboard in the car, including the radio, are MINE! Please leave them alone. (This has been a running battle ever since she was old enough to ride in the front without a car seat.)
Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you. (Age 6).
Do not dump the entire bottle of shampoo in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
Do not dump the entire bottle of liquid soap from the sink in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
Do not dump the entire bottle of conditioner in the tub for reasons I have yet to understand. (Ages 6 through 8).
It’s not a good idea, either, to dump all of the bathroom dixie cups in the bathroom sink and then fill it up with water. (Age 6, but she had help from a visiting 4 year old.)
Do not wash your hair with conditioner only. (Age 8 through 9).
Soap is required for a bath to really be a bath. (Age 5).
And, last but not least,
Paper is not a proper treat to give a dog. (Age 9). (Darwin and Mandy liked it but at least Tyra was smart enough to say no. I guess I should be grateful Kayla didn’t decide to hand out socks for all!)
Have a good day everyone!
Nancy
Tales from the Mom-Side 
Mind if I add to your list? Do not pass the time while sitting on the toilet by stapling staples into the wall. Do not bring a stapler into the bathroom to begin with.
Ain’t parenting fun??
Of course you can add to the list! I hoped people would. Parenting is the hardest and best task I have ever undertaken and I wouldn’t trade it for anything! I enjoyed the post on your blog today, too.
This is so hilarious. I worked as a nanny for 2 years after college, all mom’s but one were like that! Keep them coming, these are great stories to use in movies and TV shows!
Thanks!
lol! Oh, I remember a season of eating coins and call 911, not related incidents (age 4). Mom and Dad had to make special rules for me as well. Great post!
Well, I’m grateful my daughter never tried to eat a coin! That sounds painful. We did have one accidental 911 call, but the emergency people were very nice about it.
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AWESOME list. And I can totally relate.
What’s with the conditioner obsession with kiddos, anyhow? They think it’s like a cure-all for all that potentially might be ailing them. My daughter even used it to heal a paper cut once … and covered it with a BandAid.
😉
Did it work? If it did, we may try it; papercuts are always accompanied by great drama here!
I am still conflicted about the last rule. My dog LOVES to steal my kleenex when I’m not looking and eat them hiding in a corner. Gross? Yes. But does he enjoy it and he has little pleasures in his comparatively short life? Yes.
Great post, thanks for the ideas. 🙂
With the two of my three that are chewers, if I give them an inch they will eat every piece paper in sight. I had to rescue a warranty recall notice from Bad Dog (Mandy) this morning.
Not only were we separated at birth but I think our kids were. Esp. the conditioner. and of course it’s wasn’t the cheap Suave either!
You know, the coincidences are beginning to mount up, aren’t they? No, the cheap stuff never does get dumped in the tub whole sale like the more expensive shampoos and conditioners. Thanks!
hahahaha. As a teacher, I have had a similar experience.
“No, do not throw pencils at each other.”
**a short time later::
“No, you can’t throw pens…or ANYTHING at each other either.”
That’s funny; I used to teach years and years ago, and I can see that happening!
Rules? Really?
I read once what I think is a great piece of advice…Behave crazy, so your kids have to calm you down…Sounds crazy, right? It works! Well, I do not mean stuff your ears with stones or nose with sticks and wait for your child to stop you. If your kid constantly demand your attention, give the kid the taste of how it feels. Do not be mean!!! Do not mock them! After two minutes (if the kid lasts for that long) they will be telling you to leave them alone! If they jump in front of your screens, jump even more 🙂 Okay, I agree, sounds crazy and probably is crazy, but when your kid is busy calming you down, they don’t have time to misbehave.
Use with caution 🙂
This is great! It sounds like something I would do. Its like, take the focus off them. Its like a reverse psychology thing. I have done this babysitting in the past and also with my Nieces and other youngins in the family. I have so much fun with it!
I am not sure about it, but I do know that one way to get an 8 year old to hurry through the grocery store is to hold the cart and dance the conga as you go down the aisle. She was mortified, and afraid we would run into someone we know! She didn’t realize that I wouldn’t be doing it if the store hadn’t been fairly empty at the time.
we told my godson “you can have the super soaker, but dont fill it with water and spray your sister” ten minutes later we heard crying. he had filled it with tea and was supersoaking the lounge!!
Funny! I hope the lounge came clean.
Lol I thought my mom was the only one who told my brother and I not to put anything in our ears lol we were infamous for getting into trouble.
Not only was your mother not the only person to tell you that, but enough people have put rocks or other objects in their ears that the pediatrician had a special tool to take care of just that situation!
Ha! This is so sweet and brightened up my day. This is the kind of thing that your little girl will love to look back and read. I see you must be a master of patience by now. Kids are great!
Thanks! Kids are great. Unfortunately I am not the master of patience I wish to be, but I try. Seeing the funny side of things always helps.
These were great! Before becoming a mom I never thought I’d need rules at all…other then the basic, don’t eat in the living room, that stays in the kitchen, and pick your toys up. HA! Can you imagine? I thought my kids would just be angels automatically without any real instruction. Now I can only laugh at my naive mind set – you know the one… before you had kids! A gal up the street just had her baby & she told me she was concerned about not feeding her newborn every 3 hours so she was going to set the alarm on her cell phone (didn’t have the heart to tell her the baby WAS the alarm, a loud piercing screaming alarm). Can’t stop laughing over that one. But honestly, I think I thought the same thing too. Great post! Coolio Blog!
Thanks! I tried very hard when we didn’t have a child to avoid the “I will never let my child do X.” I am not sure that I was completely successful but I did try. Everything is different on this side of the parenting road.
I wish my son had poured out the shampoo and/or conditioner in the tub. Instead, he poured it out all over the bathroom (on two different occasions). On the positive side, my bathroom was never so clean and never smelled so good as it did after those incidents.
It’s always good that there is a bright side!
Love your post, esp. the shampoo and conditioner part.. I still have difficulty telling my kids 8 & 6 that shampoo( definitely not the cheap kind) is not for dolls or polly pockets or princesses, but purely for washing their hair. 🙂
I read this post to my daughter, and she allowed as to how she had used shampoo on Polly Pockets before. She didn’t seem to think it unusual at all!
Thanks for the read. It gets better when they are adults. My dad told me I have it easy with one girl. He had four boys, im sure my mom could give you a list from a woman with 4 boys and a man in her house.
I like your posts will come by to read more often.
Thanks
Tim
Thank you! I know it gets better when they are adults, but I will miss my little girl, too!
Haha! I also tried to pierce my ear with the end of a paper clip when I was 5 years old. I then tried to give myself a haircut…on only one side of my head. Hopefully that’s another rule you won’t need. 😉
Fantastic post!
Thank you.
Here’s one I use with my 3-year-old daughter: Do not put the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet to make a “cake” and then attempt to flush.
That’s funny!
Boy, do I have a bunch of rules like these! Yesterday I said to my 4-year-old son, “Don’t kick the phone. Do I really have to make that a rule?”
Did he give you an answer?
Oh..I wish I had these rules 20 years ago…..my daughter still mixes up the soaps between doing the laundry and doing the dishes….
It happens.
OMG this was too funny, I so remember those days, can’t say as I miss them too much. congrats on being freshley pressed. Have a GREAT day!
Leila
http://AzSmallBizSocialMeetup.com
I miss parts of them already, but look forward to what’s coming next! (I think…..)
LOL!
Glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you for the laugh today… I have not had to make rules like this yet… I hope to one day have to. I think I will just make one rule. Ask me before you do anything 😉 Wait that may be a problem in itself. Thanks for sharing.
Just be ready when the time comes to compile a list of your own. It will be a journey.
My favorite statement to my son?
“Steve-o, if you wore them they’re dirty. Don’t sniff the crotch. Put them in the wash. NOW!”
The last time I had to remind him of this fact (that we don’t wear pants for multiple days) he was 17. It does get better as time goes on- once you’ve picked the BBs out of the walls and the child is consistently bathing with both shampoo and soap. By that time you have a new problem, however- personal hygiene usually only markedly improves when they get interested in the opposite gender!
We haven’t had the pleasure of BB’s in the wall yet, and I’m kind of hoping we don’t.
hahahahaha I LOVE this and I LOVE your blog. This is hysterical because so many people can relate. 🙂
I certainly hoped they could relate, and it appears that they do.
My two favorites (maybe not exactly rules, but sayings I’ve had to utter) would be, “No biting the dog,” and “No licking the bottom of your shoes…or any part of your shoes, for that matter.”
Both rules seem very sensible from my perspective.
Our “no eggs” involved egg sandwiches loving cooked by our four-year-old for her parents. A raw egg was placed between two slices of bread and cooked in the microwave. Hard bread. Runny eggs. Yum.
The thought was there, at least. Did you eat the sandwich?
The unwritten rules were news to all of us parents. We produce a new volume about once a week.
I like your idea of consulting an adult first: “May I stick these wooden sticks up my nose?”
I just wrote about this unwritten rule for my 3YO: “Don’t lick daddy’s glasses.” Eeesh.
Congrats on Pressed.
Thanks for the congrats. I think “don’t lick daddy’s glasses” is a very reasonable rule.
Hysterical!!
Blessings,
Ava
xox
Thanks !
This is too cute. I’m a former teacher, and I know what this feels like. I think the funniest ‘rule’ I never thought I’d need to say was, “No, you absolutely can NOT use the trash can as a urinal! You’ll just have to hold it ’till the tornado warning lifts!” More striking than the rules, though, was the mile long list I developed over the years which I dubbed my “List of Crap I Really Didn’t Need to Know.” High schoolers talk about the most mind-bogglingly personal things…things we absolutely never needed or wanted to know.
If they are anything like 9 year old girls, they just have to talk to someone! They can’t help it.
Cute post! haha. Love the rules. Poor little creatures we all were.
Thanks !
I’ll keep these in mind as my daughter gets older.
It’s also good to expect that you will have the joy of compiling a unique list of your own, and then try to remember it. The memories become very precious.
great post friend! i like it
Thank you .
“Soap is required for a bath to really be a bath.” LOVE IT!!
A true statement, nonetheless!
I gotta say, I think I’ve done all of these things you aren’t supposed to when I was a kid. Though filling the tub with conditioner doesn’t exactly make sense and I don’t see the point of that… My brother did worse things thought, he cut off the whiskers off of our one cat, and I think was a lot more destructive.
I really was hoping someone could tell me the point of the conditioner! I never could figure it out.
I want to add:
Do not let your child shovel snow with sibling within the length of the shovel handle. (age 5 with sibling age 3) Black eyes and lacerations can be the outcome.
That sounds like a very wise rule.
Thank you for a good laugh. As a mom of four (three boys and 1 girl) I could relate to almost all of these. Except for the one about the dog. Our dog runs from the bathtub. Congrats on being freshly pressed.
Yes, I was very excited to be Freshly Pressed. The dog that got drug in the tub didn’t go in voluntarily; Kayla grabbed her collar (I surmise) and twisted it until the dog had only three choices: choke to death, bite the child or get in the tub.
As a father to a 7 and 5 year old, here is one I never thought I would need: do not poop on the carpet after your bath. I learned that one when my younger son was about 3.
Not quite sure what to say…
Great list and congrats on Freshly Pressed.
Thank you for both comments.
One of the best “rules” I have heard myself say was, “Don’t fork your father!” Which, of course, came out sounding wrong on an entirely different level.
Loved your list! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
That sounds like it took some explaining to get through! Thanks for reading the list and for the congrats for being Fresly Pressed. I am not quite sure how I got there!
LOL This is so true! Being a mom changes your whole perspective. Hilarious post, thanks for the laugh 😀
You’re welcome!
“Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you. (Age 6).”
Yikes. But while we’re on it, let’s add cats to that one.
The dog didn’t bite, but I suspect that cats might scratch?
My mom had to make a rule that cereal was for breakfast ONLY. There may also have been a rule against forts in the living room…
Both rules make sense to me!
Who would have thought THESE would be the rules you would need? How funny, to an outsider, sorry, can’t help but laugh!! I know it’s not funny for you, I’ve been there as a mother of two boys, Thank God they are grown, 19 & 21…I don’t remember my rules, I’m sure I had some. Oh, I just remembered one. No touching windows, as my youngest got out on the roof at 18 months…See you’ll forget! It’ll me OK, your memory protects you!! Congrats on being FP’d!
Actually, it is very funny for me. 90% of the time my daughter is as steady as they come, and then the other 10% pops out in new and startling ways. I would have had a heart attack if Kayla had gotten out onto the roof! How did you get him down?
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the rules of conduct that you mentioned. There will be a time when you will look back on this with amusement. Thanks for sharing.
I think it’s funny now. Not necessarily at the exact moment we discover the particular action leading to the rule, but soon afterwards.
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I liked your list on your blog.
When my sister was young, she was singing in a restaurant and my mom told her she wasn’t allowed to. However, my dad at the time made money by singing and playing at bars and restaurants, so my my sister came back with, “But daddy does.” The new rule became don’t sing in a restaurant unless you’re getting paid for it.
*like this.
I like that rule!
Here’s one to add to the list:
Do not put a Bob the Builder figurine into the toilet, add an entire bottle of bubble bath, and flush, even if you believe that Bob is dirty after a day’s work and needs a bath!
All right, that’s just laugh out loud funny!
My Mother could add to your list:
Don’t climb onto the roof and then clean the tar off your feet with the good towels.
Don’t throw wet Cheerios at each other.
Don’t cut your hair and expect it to grow back.
That’s a good list; most parents go through at least one do-it-yourself hair cut from a child.
That list was hilarious. I have a niece named Kayla and she’s as much of a handful as yours seems to be.
Maybe it comes with the name?
The one I thought I’d never have to say to my daughter. This was had to happen when she was about 10. No more dead animals in the house- referring to real skeletons and things preserved in jars.
I sympathize; their science project two weeks ago was to take parts of rat skeletons and tap them onto a piece of paper so that they could learn to identify the bones. She thought it was funny that I didn’t want to touch the paper!
I have another one that I always tell to my 3 year old niece.
“DO NOT eat things that are on the ground.”
It’s kind of anoying sometimes, ’cause she always ask why, even when it’s obvious. (ex: a muffin filled with ants)
Congrats for being freshly pressed.
Javi.
Greetings from Chile 🙂
3 year olds just like to ask why; what is obvious to us is not obvious to them! Chile is a long way away, but I guess in cyberspace it is just next door! Thanks for reading.
so funny!!! i think my mom made all those clear to us when we were kids!!! lol
Once the rule needs to be made, clarity is not usually a problem!
“Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you. (Age 6).”
That’s just cute. 🙂
You make me look forward to someday “mothering.”
The part about the dogs and socks made me smile..
I grew up with an average of 4-5 dogs IN the house and when socks disappeared, we dreaded their reappearing.
Aun Aqui
Wow! I can’t imagine four to five dogs in a house. Our absolute limit is three, and not even a gold fish is coming into the house while all three are with us (hopefully for a very long time.)
Hahaha! Such a good post! I’m not even a mom, but growing up with 9 sisters I could add quite a few to the list! Thanks for posting this and making me smile =D
You’re very welcome!
when I was 8 I asked my mother what would happen if I mixed the contents of the shampoo and conditioner in the tub. She neglected to tell me that nothing would happen so being the ” little scientist” (she still likes to call me that) that I was, I found out that nothing happened, except that I upset my mother and wasn’t allowed to take baths for a while!
At least you tried the experiment!
Parenthood is truly the final frontier for most us, isn’t it? You have to boldly go where you’ve never been before.
And be ready to end up in a far different, but better, place than your original vision!
I like this as I can really relate to it. My friend and I have a game similar to this where we swap comments that we never envisaged we would ever say.
I still think that “don’t bang your head on the toilet seat” (me, to 3 year old that I had just sent to bathroom as he clearly needed to pee) is unbeaten.
That is unique.
That was great – and spot on for my own experiences as a mom. I never thought I’d have to explain things like the ones you’ve described: water is not a toy, we don’t eat dog food, you can’t leave the starbucks until we are all ready to leave (that one’s from today). Sheesh! Makes sense that so many moms seem nutty – they’re dealing with nutty situations all the time.
My worst nutty moments come when I am “mushy tasking” as my daughter calls it. I have been known to ask my husband which of two canned soups he would like, walk five steps into the kitchen, forget and have to ask him all over again.
I’m sure the list will keep growing :p
I don’t doubt it.
So cute :o) I’m a first time mommy of a 20 month old and although she’s much easier to handle now (can feed herself, can entertain herself for a bit, etc), certain situations are starting to pop up that I just never thought I’d deal with. I’ve found myself saying, “Don’t bark at other children, it scares them”, “Don’t lick the kitchen floor”, “Violet (stuffed puppy) doesn’t need the Aveeno cream from head to toe! Her skin is covered in fur!”, “You don’t need to ‘feed’ every stuffed animal, doll and baby photo in the house. They’re all full”. That one is so stikin’ sweet though! She’s a giver!
Just wait; the situations get better. If your daughter has a good heart, like mine does, that is a real blessing.
Hello, nice to meet you! I soo love this pose and feel your pain/laughter, I have 4 sons…the oldest is almost 18 so YES, I’ve come across many, many rules I thought I’d never need!!
No pain, just laughter. However, with four sons, I bet you have loads of stories.
Teeth are not for hold straight pins, one inhale and its down the shoot and four scary days in the hospital waiting for it to pass. (the freshie, age 12)
Ouch! I am glad he or she is okay.
Hahaha, awww. 🙂 This was too cute. Thanks for sharing!
No problem. I enjoyed sharing.
How about this one, your hair must actually be wet in order for shampoo to work. It does not dry immediately after you get out of the tub, so don’t tell me you hair was washed when it wasn’t.
Cute post! 🙂
I like it!
Let me tell you, I was a little hellian growing up, and I thought I finally outsmarted my dad when I would misbehave and he would make me “stick my nose in the corner” I would be so worked up pouting and crying and having snot everywhere from crying(I told you I was a hellian, and made a big deal out of getting in trouble) that I decided I am going to MAKE HIM SORRY FOR PUNISHING ME… While in the corner, I decided to rub my runny nose all over it while there while pouting, etc..
After I did this a new rule was adapted. Next time he sent me to the corner, my nose was not allowed to touch the wall. This made me so angry! That I just stood there and cried harder because he had figured me out.
Parents do have a tendency to figure things out!
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So perfect! I think when my sister and I were kids my mom’s more hilarious rules included:
1. a. No cutting your own hair.
1. b. No cutting your sister’s hair.
2. No packing the cat in a suitcase to take to grandma’s…a week in advance.
3. No sticking your boogers on the wall.
4. No drawing on the kitchen table unless there is paper between your writing instrument and said table.
5. No trying to carve your name or designs into the dining room table. Just because the pencil went through the paper leaving an impression on the table doesn’t mean you need to sit there and make it worse with your fork.
I like this list! Especially packing the cat a week in advance. Was the poor thing discovered in time?
Oh yes, she was found. She was packed many times well in advance of trips and to go to school on the first day. No wonder she never really wanted anything to do with me as a kid lol
Such a great post. As for the stuffing things up your nose bit, after spending 4+ hours in the ER thinking my daughter shoved a bead way up her nose, only to learn later that she left it in her car seat, she attempted another nasal bead shove the next day…They keep life interesting and I can totally relate – feel free to stop by my blog for some stories about balancing work, momhood, and trying to reach your own goals at 40…yup, it’s all about balance…like a three-legged giraffe on a tightrope…Thanks for the hilarious post and great to discover your blog!
I look forward to stopping by your blog as soon as I can. Balancing is a challenge for every mom (and dads, too) whether they work outside the home or not!
Apparently, you do not know dogs. My dog (puppy?) loves getting paper. Catalogs are the best. Just think about all the little presents she can leave on the floor! (And I’m serious. She takes it like we’re giving her a bone.)
Your puppy sounds adorable. I was not surprised that the dogs liked the paper, although usually they prefer to chew things like shoes, socks and plastic, but since we are trying to train them NOT to chew the paper, I was surprised at the daughter giving it to them as a treat.
Love all of these! Here are a couple from teenage boys:
1. Do not shoot the arrows in the house, even if it is at a blank wall.
2. Do not shoot beebee guns in the house.
3. Do not throw things into the fan to see how far they will fly.
4. Stairs are not ski slopes.
Oh the list could go on and on and on. The important thing in all of this? Keep your sense of humor – you are going to need it! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Those rules are really funny! Thank you for the congratulations!
Wow… great rules. I think I can apply it to my students in class 😉
I hope so! I bet you have a list of your own that is just as extraordinary.
Adding: Do not take a swig of my perfume. I’ll have to call 911 because I don’t know how dangerous it is.
Don’t play in the laundry basket if it has sharp plastic edges in it. You may fall and split your forehead. Yep….another E.R. visit.
Don’t ….okay, I’ll stop now before I sound like a negligent mother.
I’m so glad to hear that these things happen to other people and not just me.
Me too!
LoL! Great post! I have two boys (3 yr old and 10
mo) I would have to say to the older one Rule #1 Don’t roll over your little brother just becuase you think you call yourself a Monster Trunk. To the little one Rule #1 Just because we ban the dog from the toilet doesn’t mean you have free range to it.
Happy mothering!
And happy mothering to you too! A 3 year old and 10 month old is a handful!
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I just loved your list…and the great comments after that. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
My son is just 1 year old and really doesn’t understand any rule I make up for him – like “Do not put that piece of paper in your mouth.” , “Do not put your foot in your mouth.” (which is a fave of his by the way), “Do not try to hang out of the bed upside down.” (another fave)
God, I am looking forward to the day I can really enforce these rules just by verbally telling him and not having to bodily haul him out of the “tempting” situation.
A one year old can’t help what he does; he can’t understand what’s wrong. I know it can get tough, but don’t wish these years away; you will find they go by quickly enough as it is!
Oooohh a lot of rules and I bet that rule list is going to keep on getting longer. At least you can laugh about it. Well, maybe a while later.
Yes, there is a delayed reaction as to the laughing, but eventually it comes. I have enjoyed reading everyone else’s rules, too.
Actually, if her hair is naturally curly and/or dry washing with conditioner only isn’t such a bad idea. 😛
I hope you don’t mind if I don’t share that information with her!
Hilarious! I will add:
Do not put furniture on your sister.
Do not tie people up with karate belts.
Do not put things in your bottom.
Only another mother would understand that none of these are that disturbing! Congrats on being FP’s, I was on cloud 9 for a week when it happended to me!
-Paige
Those rules sound logical to me. I am pretty excited about being Freshly Pressed.
Hilarious post! I kind of understand where you’re coming from, not as a mother myself, but as someone who was once a child that did silly things like cut my own hair (age 4) and give my sister “medicine” (olive juice- age 7 or so). What a great list you have and, oh, the stories! I want so many more details!
Yikes! At least your medicine was edible! I had one sister try to give another sister moth ball pellets because the first sister thought it was gum. (ages 4 and 6, I think.) I suspect some of the stories behind the rules will be posted eventually.
Hi there… mom of a 4 year old boy here…. I love this post!
I just started writing a blog. I wanted to ask where you go the star rating system for yoru post and the followers who like it w/ their images?
To get the star rating system, look on your dashboard symbols on the left-hand side of the page. At the bottom of the Dashboard menu, there are two circles, one above the other. Click on the top circle, and you should get the heading “Ratings” and the choice of “Reports” or “Settings.” Settings will let you put the star system in place. I hope this helps.
How about “Don’t kick me all through supper” and “Don’t carve the kitchen table with your fork!”
Those make sense, too.
Very sweet and cute…
I am glad you had fun reading it!
Funny but so true! LOL. You should compile a whole mummy manual!
I’ll think about it; just think of this blog as my place for taking notes!
We parents could write a book on rules, couldn’t we! Great post, and congrats on being Freshly Pressed. I’ll add a rule of my own: Don’t do chin-ups on the towel bar and think it can support your weight.
Yes, each parent could write a book on rules, and each parent’s book would be refreshingly different, yet similar. How many towel bars did you have to replace?
So very true. I grew up with 2 siblings, have 2 nephews both aged 2 and I have a son aged 2. They love adding all forms of bodily cleansing materials to the bath. I sing them a song when I bath them with the body washes now they too believe they can wash each other while singing “scrub, scrub, scrub in the morning and the night”.
These moments are the ones we will never forget.
No, we won’t forget them; that is why I try and write some down to be sure I don’t.
Do not climb onto the kitchen island and swing the faucet around so that it is over the counter, and then, in particular, do not turn on the water and flood the kitchen (age 2).
Do not clean daddy’s laptop keyboard with an entire bottle of window cleaner (age 2.5).
Ditto for mommy’s laptop (age 2.6)
The cat’s tail is for his use, not for dragging him from one side of the house to the other (ages 2-4)
Do not spread mayonaise on the inside of the DVD player (age 3)
These are really funny! Did the laptops survive or were they toast?
I actually forgot that when he flooded the kitchen, my laptop was on the kitchen counter. I found it sitting in 1/2″ of water. I poured water out of the case and applied a hair dryer. It survived.
The other two times, with window cleaner, he shorted out the LCD backlight. I am thankful for HP’s total care warranty where they cover even accidental damage. HP fixed both.
I like HP’s too. I am surprised the laptop survived the 1/2 inch of water; that was pretty lucky! At least with the backlight, you didn’t lose data! Thanks for answering my question.
So great! The rule my sister NEVER thought she’d have to set for my nieces was: “You MAY NOT EVER climb out the second story window onto the roof.” (Later caviat: “Unless the house is on fire and that is the ONLY way out.”)
This rule was set after my BIL – working in the yard one afternoon while the girls were (ostensibly) playing with their toys, safe and sound in their rooms – got a call from a neighbor asking him if he knew his kids were out on the roof. … Great moments in parenting.
Another rule that makes a lot of sense!
Loved your list. It really made me laugh! I have one to add:
Don’t dry yourself on a bath towel then shove it back on the shelf when you are done {this from my 15 year old!}
At least he or she has the concept of putting the towel up roaming around somewhere! We are still working on the concept of hanging the wet towel up instead of putting on your bed for a while. Thank you for your comment!
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Haha, I love your list! Kids do the darndest things, don’t they? When I was in high school, I babysat a little girl (I think she was 4 at the time) who decided it was a good idea to go into her mom’s bathroom and use ALL of her super-expensive lotion as a sort of hair cream. She was SOAKED in it. And this happened about 10 minutes before her mom came home.
Needless to say, that was the last time I babysat her.
Of course; kids gravitate toward the more expensive of anything that they intend to use for baths or hair stuff! Thank you for sharing that story.
fascinating.., ! everything is “forbidden” for a child, except under supervision, and in that cases, supervision are her/his mom, dad . Because, we dont want to let a child to do that, and makes them happy, without thinking about savety, for their develompment processes (mind, body, n soul.)
being father.., before a trully dad. 🙂
You will find that you can’t just forbid a child from doing everything, and that sometimes you have to let them do some things without supervision or they don’t have a chance to learn. Besides, at least with the screen, as older parents, we definitely needed our afternoon nap! 🙂
haha. I love the “Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you”. 😀
The dog liked that rule, too; she just wished that I had thought of it 15 minutes earlier!