Friday Morning, 6:45 a.m.
Me to Kayla: If you were well enough to go to your boyfriend’s baseball game last night, you’re well enough to go to school.
Saturday Morning, 10:00 a.m.
Kayla to Me: If I was well enough to go to school yesterday, I’m well enough to go see my friends this evening.
ClickArt Online.com, all rights reserved
And now the score is tied. Touché!
Have a great weekend everyone.
Nancy
Posted in Just stuff..., Out of the mouths of babes...., Parenting
Good morning Everyone!
http://www.clickartonline.com Copyright Protected All Rights Reserved
Saturday, I couldn’t find the floor piece for the new canister vacuum cleaner. Kayla had been the last person to use it two weeks earlier. (We were out-of-town the weekend before). Kayla swore she put it back in the slot on the machine and it must have fallen out somewhere.
So I looked. In order to look everywhere the vacuum cleaner had been, I had to clean out the hall closet, under the laundry room sink and the corner of the laundry room beside the washer where we had various mops, brooms and dusters jumbled together. I found 2 card games, 5 hats, 8 coats, 2 vests, 3 rolls of wall paper border, 10 rolls of shelf paper, cleaning chemicals galore, 1 acoustic guitar and the box where everything I wrote while I was in high school is stored, but no floor piece.
We finally found the floor piece in the cupboards ABOVE the laundry room sink. Apparently, it fell off the vacuum, leapt up six feet, opened the cupboard door so it could sit on the second shelf and then closed the door behind it.
As one of my sisters said, “that is quite a talented attachment!”
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, Humor, Just stuff..., On the Home Front
Tagged children, clutter, House cleaning, humor, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaner attachment
Good morning Everyone!
Something about the Christmas season seems to send my absent mindedness into hyperdrive. Not so my dogs.
The Mandinator!
Here’s my proof:
1. It was raining last week, and I was the last one to leave the office. I usually go out the front, which requires me to unlock and then lock it back, but that night I went out the back door, which always lets people out even if they can’t get back in. After I got outside and into my car (it has a combination lock that lets me unlock it without the key), I started to panic when I couldn’t find the keys anywhere in my purse. I hadn’t even closed the car door yet. I started to send a frantic text to one of my friends from work asking her to come back to free me, but as I was doing so, I realized there was the most annoying “ping, ping, ping” coming from the car. I looked up to realize that my keys were in the ignition. I must have put them in the ignition without even thinking about it.
2. I am working on a knitting project that involves using a row counter. This means that after I finish a row, I have to stop and hit the button on the counter to tally each row. To do this, I have to put the “free” needle – the one without yarn on it at the time – down. I got quite annoyed the other night when I couldn’t find the darn thing after one row tally. There is nothing more frustrating than losing an object when you have been sitting in the same place the whole time. I was sitting by Mark and he finally asked me what I was looking for. When I told him I was looking for my knitting needle, he looked at me strangely before telling me that it was tucked behind my ear!
3. We put a memory foam mattress topper on our bed last night. We leaned back to see how it felt, and Mark had my glasses in his hand. I kept reaching out to take them back, and he finally asked, “Why are you reaching for my glasses?” I started to inform him that they weren’t his glasses, they were mine – until I realized that my glasses were still on my head. Then I had to tell him that I had forgotten my glasses were still on me!
Compare that to Mandy’s behavior this morning. She sailed onto my chest about 6:30, ready for me to get up. Apparently the extra 4 inches added to the bed by the mattress topper doesn’t pose any problems for her, but I digress. When she did, I noticed that in her mouth she had one of Mark’s handkerchiefs. Sleepy or not, I was aware that most dogs do not carry handkerchiefs around with them, so I removed Mandy’s from her, put it in the hamper, pushed the clothes down to be sure they stayed out of reach and went on about our day. About an hour later, I went back into the room for something and Mandy followed me, sailed back on the bed and began searching for the handkerchief I had taken away.
That moment was when I concluded that my dog is far less absent-minded than me.
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in dogs, Just stuff..., Parenting, Pets, working mom
Tagged absent minded, absent-mindedness, dogs, Freshly Pressed, humor, pets
Good morning Everyone!
Certain circumstances having arisen in my household, I wish to aid household helpers under the age of 16 with the following hints.
Happy helping, household helpers!
Have a great day everyone.
Nancy
Posted in Children, Humor, Just stuff..., On the Home Front, working mom
Tagged daughter, dusting, hints, housekeeping, housework, humor, vacuum
Good morning Everyone!
What to Wear? http://www.clickartonline.com All rights reserved
It is one of the oldest arguments that exist between mother and daughter. I have had it with Kayla, my Mom had it with one, or all three, of her daughters, and I’m willing to bet that she had the discussion with her mother also. It always begins with a variation on the question, “You weren’t going to wear that, were you?”
To reach the earliest recorded instance of this argument, we are going to have to resort to the Ugg Clan Chronicles. As was briefly discussed in A Highly Biased History of Writing, Part I, two of Ugg and Uggette’s 14 children, Uggodu and Uggodo, had an interest in substances from which would eventually spring the art of alchemy. As part of that interest, and as a result of a string of both fortunate and unfortunate accidents involving a dried out animal skin, a summer long camping trip, mammoth and wolf dung, lots of water as well as oak and the lack of a strong sense of smell, they discovered the art of tanning, which takes animal hides and turns them into a fabric of sorts that doesn’t putrefy when wet (or dry, for that matter). Once Mrs. Ugg finally discovered what they had been up to, and viewed the final result, she was instantly taken with the new invention (although, due to the malodorous nature of the process, she was forced to require Uggodu and Uggodo to conduct their experiments in a swamp that was normally downwind and about three miles away.) Because the process took time, Mrs. Ugg reserved the twins’ leather for special occasion garments only, leaving the family with regular animal skins for every day wear.
Uggette and Uggita Discuss Dress; http://www.clickartonline.com, All Rights Reserved
In November of that year, the Ugg’s received a cordial invitation by smoke signal to attend a campfire festival attended by all of the families in the surrounding area, of which there were two besides the Uggs – the local medicine doctor’s family and the distinguished Oop Clan. Uggita, the oldest of the 14 children, was very much enamoured of the eldest Oop son, Alley, Jr. Because of that, she waited until it was time for the family to leave before showing herself ready for the family procession dressed in the leather dress Mrs. Ugg had prepared for special ceremonial occasions as opposed to casual get-togethers, at which point Mrs. Ugg laid down the gauntlet by proclaiming, “You surely are NOT going to the campfire fest wearing that, are you?” After about 10 minutes of heated argument, finally settled when Ugg, being a wise man who loved domestic harmony, weighed in on Mrs. Ugg’s behalf, a sulky Uggita returned to the cave to reemerge wearing her every day fur skin. (For the record, Alley, Jr. found Uggita captivating even if she wasn’t in ceremonial dress.)
The second recorded instance of such an argument that I am aware of (I am sure there are many such records, but I don’t know about them) proved that even royalty is not immune from such discussions.
Empress Maria Theresa, 1759 By Martin van Meytens – Buchscan, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=68471
The Sep./Oct. 2016 issue of National Geographic History contained an article about the dress standards of Marie Antoinette and her court. (Maria Pilar Queralt del Hierro, “Rococo Revolution: Marie Antoinette’s Courtier Couture”, pp. 10-13). Included in a sidebar to the article was the following excerpt of a letter from Empress Maria Theresa of Austria to her daughter, Marie Antionette, upon receiving a painting of Marie Antionette after she became Queen of France:
As you know, I have always been of the opinion that fashions should be followed in moderation but should never be taken to extremes. A beautiful young woman, a graceful queen, has no need for such madness. On the contrary, simplicity of dress is more befitting and more worthy of a queen. I love my little queen and watch everything you do and feel I must not hesitate to draw your attention to this little frivolity.
Id., p. 11.
Marie Antoinette of France, 1783 by Louise Elisabeth Vigée-Lebrun; Public Domain Due to Age of Painting
So mothers, when you feel the need to challenge your daughter’s choice of attire, hold your heads high! You stand with the company of your forebears and royalty when you do so.
Have a great day!
Nancy
about the dress habits of Marie Antionette and her court
Posted in Art, History, Humor, Parenting, working mom
Tagged Clothing, daughter, Dress, humor, Maria Theresa of Austria, Marie Antoinette of France, parenting, Ugg Clan, working mom
Good morning Everyone!
From http://www.clickartonline.com All rights reserved.
Things got a little tense at our household this morning thanks to contacts and baseball, strange combination that it is.
Kayla got contacts about a month ago and after the first three days, which were rough, had most of the kinks worked out – until this morning. I knocked on her bedroom door to tell her I was going to take a shower, so I would wish her a good day then and to have a good day, and
got screamed
yelled at
was informed tersely that her contacts were just “not working” this morning and she was afraid she was going to miss the bus. [How something with no moving parts or motor can “not work” is beyond me.]
When I told her she had nine minutes left so she should calm down a little, I struck a spark onto a pile of dry twigs and leaves. I’m not saying I slammed any doors over the conversation, but I slammed my bedroom door over the conversation.
However, as we all know, Karma works its magic at the worst possible times.
From http://www.clickartonline.com All Rights Reserved
15 minutes after the bus came, Kayla texted – she had forgotten her permission slip for the baseball game field trip her class is taking today and would I please bring it to her at school so she wouldn’t have to sit in the boring classroom all day long and us lose the $20 we had plunked down for the field trip? [I’m sure it was our losing the twenty dollars that was worrying her the most.][Insert sarcasm font.]
I contemplated telling her “no.” I should have told her “no.” I almost texted her “no. ” But instead I clenched my jaw and started looking for it. Once I found it, the following dialogue by text ensued:
[Typos in originals]
ME: Leaving house now. Please be at front at drop off line to pick up form. Do NOT make me park and come inside.
KAYLA: I can’t do that its against the rules.
[At this point, I think most mothers would agree with me that she has achieved reached the level of justifiable homicide.]
ME: Then how the )^&*&%$%(*&^( do you expect me to get it to [text typing interrupted by further communication from Kayla.]
KAYLA: I’ll try it
ME: [Deletes above text without sending. ]
KAYLA: coach dean said I could come to the carrider line.
My mood was not improved by the fact that I managed to lose the permission slip form three times after I found it before I entered the car which probably wasn’t her fault but which I will find some way to blame on her anyhow.
From http://www.clickartonline.com All Rights Reserved
The smile on her face when she grabbed the form from me, though, made it worth it.
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, Children, Just stuff..., On the Home Front, working mom
Tagged contacts, daughter, field trip, humor, parenting, working mom
Good morning Everyone!
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Art, Books, Just stuff..., working mom
Tagged crafts, crafts for men, duct tape, humor, Men, michael's
Good morning Everyone!
As I mentioned yesterday, twice recently I have been reminded that God has a rich sense of humor. The second time came from a story an out-of-state friend told me and a group of women I was with.
http://www.clickartonlline.com
All Rights Reserved
She teaches first grade, and is still trying to figure out how to keep the kids quiet. (She’s young.) She told us that during Christmas break, she had been praying for patience.
Every woman over the age of 40 listening groaned; us older women know that if you pray for patience, you get plenty of opportunities to practice it.
When school started after Christmas break, she was called to the office during fourth period to receive a new student.
The student was named Patience.
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Humor, Just stuff..., working mom
Tagged humor, joke, kids, patience, school, teacher, working mom
Good morning Everyone!
Never doubt that God has a sense of humor. That fact was brought home to me twice recently. The first time, the joke was on me.
http://www.clickart.com
All Rights Reserved
Publisher’s Clearing House’s latest mega prize is something like one million dollars up front and then $10,000 a week for life. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t enjoy that kind of extra spending money in their bank account. It is possible that perhaps in an unguarded moment (or twelve or ninety or one thousand unguarded moments) I whispered something to God about how nice it would be to win Publisher’s Clearing House. Two days after the Prize Patrol failed to show up yet again, I received a letter.
The letter, from Publisher’s Clearing House, announced that I had won and my winnings were enclosed.
Sure enough they were – in a check for $10.
I suspect God smiled while I giggled.
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Humor, Just stuff..., working mom
Tagged contests, humor, Publisher's Clearing House, sweepstakes, winning, working mom
Good morning Everyone!
Last Friday was the last day of school for 2015 for Kayla. The day before, her home room decided to plan a breakfast party in celebration thereof. So far so good, but then my child (or perhaps this time she was Mark’s child!) volunteered to bring cheese grits for the class.
When she announced this to us, neither parent was thrilled. Mark, because he had to go to Wal-Mart with her to get bags of grit after work and me because I was informed that I would be getting up to help her prepare them. This announcement was doubly troubling to me since I had sworn off making her grits ages ago, since every batch I made was judged inferior to any batch made by either grandmother. (See, Grits.)
Mark hates Wal-Mart and only goes there as a last resort, but by the time I got home that night, the two of them had already been and returned – with two five-pound flour bag size packages of grits. I think he got off light.
When I awoke the next morning, Kayla already had plopped three stock size pots on the stove and filled with them water. She was standing in the kitchen waiting for them to boil.
Unreasonable woman that I am, I studied the directions on the back of the package, and asked, “Did you measure out the water?”
“No, I don’t have to.”
“But the package says…”
“Well, Grandma Pat never does…”
(At this point I started gritting my teeth.)
The water in pot one started to boil, and Kayla added about three pounds worth of grits into the pot.
My next question: “Do you have the cheese ready to stir in?”
Disdainfully: “Mom, you never stir the cheese in; you just put it on top.”
“It’s better stirred in.”
Aggravated sigh. “Even Cracker Barrel and Huddle House just put the cheese on the top.”
(At this point I started biting my tongue and walked off into the other room. With a decided lack of wisdom, I decided to reenter the kitchen.)
Studying the huge batch of grits stirring in pot #1, I suggested that pot 1 was all she would need.
“Mom, I have to prepare for 32 people.”
“Kayla, that’s enough for 32 people.”
“No it’s not.”
(By now, I’m ready to start snarling, so I jump to the true root of the problem.)
“You know, when you’re volunteering to bring something to the party at the last minute, you should volunteer to bring something we can just buy at the store.”
“I was going to bring plates Mom, but when people were saying what food they were going to bring, I kept asking for cheese grits and no one would bring them, so I did.”
The child then emptied another two pounds of grits into pot #2 and began stirring.
“Kayla, you have enough grits. You don’t need the third batch.”
“Yes I do.”
“No, you have enough.”
“But mom…”
Then a shout came out. “I don’t care what you say, I am now ORDERING you to not make the third batch.”
“Well, there’s no need to yell at me!”
I again left the room, this time to allow my blood pressure to come down. After too short a period, I am called back in.
“Mom, did Grandma Pat teach me how to make good grits or what?”
(Note: I don’t like grits; never have, never will.)
She then announced “You know I’m going to need you to help me carry this stuff in.”
I studied the kitchen counter, where a large assortment of very small Tupperware containers were spread out. “Honey, you can’t take all my Tupperware containers.”
With a huff: “Well, I have to take them in SOMETHING!”
After a moment’s thought, I found a very large stew pot that she could pour both batches in. Now all she had to carry was her backpack, slung over her shoulder and the stew pot, which had handles and a lid. She informed me I still needed to go in with her (which involves parking the car in the school parking lot and walking into the school) rather than just take her through the car rider line (which means I get to stay in the car while she gets on out.) A snarling cross-examination established that the only reason I needed to go in was that she was embarrassed to carry in her large pot of grits by herself, which really set me off.
At the end of the appointed time, I managed to get the daughter and the grits to the right place at the right time. My parting words to her as I walked from the school back out to the parking lot included a reminder to clean the kitchen as soon as she got home that day.
For the record, there still is at least one pot that has not yet been cleaned to my satisfaction. It took all day Friday for my Christmas cheer to return!
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, Cooking, Just stuff..., Parenting, working mom
Tagged cheese grits, daughter, family, grits, humor, parenting, working mom
Genuine Blogger Award, 6/13/2011
Tales from the Mom-Side 