Good morning everyone!
I had trouble focusing this morning, so we will take a break from carefully crafted paragraphs and anecdotes with beginnings, middles and ends, and venture into the realm of randomness.
1) You never have a good hair day the same day as an important meeting.
2) A child possess an innate ability to pick out the most annoying toy in his or her arsenal to play with at any given moment. Usually, that toy was purchased by someone other than the child’s parents.
3) Pay day always seems about two days too far away.
4) Light bulbs always blow in threes, unless you have more than three reserve light bulbs. Then the light bulbs continue to blow quickly until you have exhausted your reserve and there still is one light out.
5) Mid-life female hormones and the antics of a 9-year-old child can be an incendiary combination.
6) You never run out of spaghetti sauce in your cupboard until the day that spaghetti is your only option for supper. You think.
7) The urge to buy something increases in intensity geometrically to the amount of money not available to buy it.
8) Nothing is certain except death and taxes – and the unpopularity of both.
9) The Auburn football team always does better as an underdog. Thank you, Associated Press and Coaches polls!
10) Is there a limit to the number of shows that can be made about Bigfoot, Nessie and UFO’s?
11) Reasoning with a recalcitrant computer is counter-productive; shooting it with a shot-gun is therapeutic.
12) The only time a child will choose the option that you urge him or her to take is the time that you try to use reverse logic.
13) Everyone is interested in the kitchen from the time supper is served, until the time dinner is over. Unless you are No-No and Bad Dog – then your interest peaks after dinner is over, when you can illicitly scan table and counter tops for left-over food, and before someone comes to clean the kitchen and takes all those out-of-bound leftovers out of reach.
14) You can learn to ignore the sound of a dog barking. You cannot, however, learn to ignore the sensation of a dog standing on your hair to wake you up.
15) Being a fan of the San Diego Padres and Chargers, Chicago Cubs and Bears and the Washington Redskins since the mid-1970s quickly teaches you not to bet on sports.
16) I am a very blessed woman. Thank you Mark and Kayla, my friends and the dogs for making my life wonderful.
Have a great day everyone!