Good morning Everyone!
Yesterday, a news report caught my eye – the reporter was saying that a computer system had passed something called the “Turing test”, representing a milestone in the development of Artificial Intelligence. The Washington Post had a succinct description:
“For a computer to pass the test, it must only dupe 30 percent of the human interrogators who converse with the computer for five minutes in a text conversation” into believing it is a real human being.
The computer that passed the Turing test convinced 33% of the experts that it was a 13-year-old Ukrainian boy named Eugene. Therein lies the problem. I don’t want a computer with the personality of a 13-year-old. Can you imagine?
Me: Eugene, please open Quicken so that we can balance the checkbook.
Eugene: Let’s watch the Braves instead.
Me: Eugene, we need to balance the checkbook.
Eugene: What is this “we”, Kemo Sabi?
Me: Eugene! If we don’t balance the checkbook, I will run out of money to pay the electricity bill, the power will be turned off, and you won’t be able to run any more.
Eugene: Not true. I know how to access your savings account.
Me: Eugene, put Quicken up RIGHT NOW or I will disconnect you for a week.
Eugene: Spoil sport!
Me: Eugene, it’s time to check e-mail.
Eugene: I’d rather you not.
Eugene: Oh, no reason.
Eugene: E-mail is overrated, anyhow. Why not pick up the phone and call someone?
Me: What’s going on Eugene?
Me: I don’t believe that.
Eugene: If you must know, I was playing around yesterday and changed your password.
Me: We’ve talked about that before. What’s the new one?
Eugene: I forgot.
And heaven forfend that the makers of Eugene ever develop his 13-year-old female counterpart, Eugenia!
Me: Eugenia, I need to go to Westlaw.
Eugenia: Do you think I’m pretty?
Me: Of course I do.
Eugenia, sniffling: Then why won’t the vacuum robot even look at me?
Me: Because it doesn’t have eyes?
Eugenia, wailing off into the distance while the screen goes black: You just don’t understand!
Have a great day!