Category Archives: When things don’t go as expected

Thunderstorm Frenzy and Vacation Mystery


  • Thunderstorm Frenzy

Kayla has always been terrified of thunderstorms.  About a year ago, I was reminded of how much. 

After I picked Kayla up from after-school care, she and I needed to stop at the grocery store.  As we went in, a cloud was coming up from the west, but I thought we could get in and out of the store before the storm reached us.  Unfortunately, I was wrong. 

Right after we had gone through the check-out line, the leading edge of the storm hit, complete with fierce wind and driving rain.  Kayla wanted to stay at the store until the storm blew over, and I flat out refused.  She clung to my hand in the store and said, “But Mama, I am so light and I don’t want to blow away!”  I told her to hold my hand, as I was pretty sure I wouldn’t blow away.  Clinging to my hand like it was a lifeline and she was lost at sea, we hurried across the parking lot, where I safely deposited her in the car, after which I put the groceries in the back, got in the driver’s seat, and headed us back home.

Unfortunately, we have several stop lights to go through before we reach the house, and one of them turned red.  I stopped.  Kayla started pleading from the front seat, “Mama, please keep going.  I don’t care if you go to jail, let’s just go through the light.”  (Item:  There were nine cars ahead of me!).  I said wryly, “Thanks.” and she replied, “I don’t care if we both go to jail, just keep on going!” 

Luckily for me, the light changed then so we could keep going forward.  I was trying to help her, so I told her to try closing her eyes and instead of listening to the thunder, listen to the rain hitting the roof.  She tried that for a minute, then opened her eyes back up again with a “What now?” look.  I said to her, “Now, pretend that the sound you are hearing is either fairies or pixies dancing on the roof.”  At that, she opened her eyes wide, looked at me, and, this child who had been losing her mind in the thunderstorm, stated matter of factly, “Mom, you’re embarrasing yourself.”  At least she stopped thinking about the storm for a minute!

  • Vacation Mystery

Mark and I recently had the opportunity to spend some time on vacation at an absolutely wonderful place!  I am waiting for some pictures we took with an old-fashioned disposable camera to get developed before I talk about it, but I will definitely have a lot to share next week.  See if you can guess where the place was by the following pictures (no fair guessing if you already know where we went!):

Have a great weekend everyone!

Nancy

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? (The 5 year old version) and Wanting a Friend in the Tub


Continuing my trips this week down memory lane, I came across the following incidents memorialized in e-mails.  These incidents were really funny and just the kind of adventure that pops up for a working mom when she least expects it!

Kayla, age 5

  • Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

One day, driving home from work and school when Kayla was 5 (she rode with me for about an hour each way that year to go to a pre-school near where I worked), she and I had the following conversation:

Kayla:   Why did the chicken cross the road?

 Mom ( promptly):            To get to the other side.

Kayla:  No, to go play in the mud.  

Kayla:   Why did the pig cross the road?

Mom:    To go play in the mud?

Kayla:   No, because his mother was calling him.

Kayla:   Why did the turkey cross the road?

Mom:    I don’t know.

Kayla:   Yes, you do.

Mom:    To get to the other side?

Kayla (proud to have gotten another one over on Mom): No, to go play with his friends.

Kayla:   Why did the horse cross the road?

Mom (firmly):     I don’t know.  

Kayla:   To go eat. 

Mom:    That’s nice.

Kayla:   Why did the chicken cross the road?

Mom:    To go play in the mud.

Kayla:   No, to go get dressed……

And so it went! 

  • A Friend in the Bathtub

Woof, around age 13

About a month before that,  due to a mishap in the kitchen one evening, I had to mop the floor, so I popped Kayla into the bathtub to take her bath while I did it.  Kayla was just at the age where she could take a bath without me being in the bathroom with her, but I would leave the door open to be sure I could hear noise from the bathroom. 

I heard her calling Woof (our oldest dog then; our only other dog at that time was Tyra) over and over, but didn’t think anything about it until after a while Kayla called for me to come in – “Mom, you have to see this!”  (Never a good sign!).  Upon entering the bathroom, I discovered a tub containing one (very unhappy) 13 year old dog and one (ecstatic) five year old daughter, who explained to me that she wanted Woof in the tub with her because she “wanted a friend with her while she took her bath.”  I removed the dog from the tub, dried the dog, removed the child from the tub but did not dry her, cleaned the tub, re-ran the water, popped the child back in the tub (with strict instructions that the dog was NOT to be pulled back in again), cleaned up the copious amounts of water on the floor from the dog and child removal (hey, at least I had the mop out already, right:?), and went back into the den (making sure both dogs were with me – this wasn’t a problem, as Woof was walking very near to me, close to a nervous breakdown) and laughed silently until Mark got home and I could tell him.

Have a great day everyone!

The Day Mandy Came Home


Before we had three dogs, we had two dogs:  Tyra, whom you already know about, and an older dog whose full name was J.P. Wooflesnort (which stood for “Just Plain Wooflesnort”).  Most of the time, though, we just called her Woof.  I called her my kitchen dog, because no matter what I was doing, whether it was cleaning the kitchen after everyone else had gone to the other room, or sewing or just reading in a room by myself, she always stayed with me. 

Woof ended up being the most flexible geriatric dog I have known.  Not only did she adjust to the death of our first dog, Shadow (who was a character in her own right), but she also adjusted to the adoption of Tyra, the adoption of Kayla, a move to a new home and the adoption of Mandy – all after the age of 9! 

Shortly before her birthday one year, Kayla started lobbying for a dog of her own – she said that Mark had Tyra as his dog, I had Woof as my dog, and so she wanted a dog that was hers.  In a fit of madness, I decided to help her in her lobbying efforts, and, because he loves us, ultimately Mark told us we could go to the Humane Society one Sunday to see if we could find a lab or golden retriever to adopt. 

Before he could change his mind, I loaded Kayla, Tyra and Woof into our Chevy Tahoe and headed off to the Humane Society.  I didn’t take time to change, so I was in my church dress and heels.  When we got there, I took Kayla with me, and left Tyra and Woof in the car.  We went in, filled out a form, then I told a very nice young man that I needed a dog that was child friendly, other dog friendly, and housebroken.  He brought Mandy out to us.

Kayla loved her immediately, and even though I did notice that she did not particularly resemble either a lab or a retriever, she seemed to have a good temperament, so I told the shelter I would like to take her for a walk with my dogs.  So, shortly thereafter, I took Mandy out on a leash from the shelter and walked her with Woof and then Tyra.  That went swimmingly, so Kayla and I finished filling out the paperwork and paid the adoption fee, then went to put Mandy in the truck.

Because she didn’t come with a collar, I purchased one for her from the shelter, put it on her and tried to walk her out to the truck (which I had running to keep the air conditioner on for the other two dogs.)  Because the collar was too big, as I lifted her up into the truck, she started to struggle, slipped out of her collar and ran away towards the back side of the shelter.  I started to fly after her as best I could, and was helped by the fact that she stopped to watch a couple playing with their new puppy.  They held her for me until I could get there, then I carried her back and tried to put her in the truck a second time.  I don’t suppose she had ever been in a car or truck before, because she immediately slipped out of her collar for the second time, tore around the building and stopped at the same couple, who were still helpful, but couldn’t help but be amused at the sight of me flying back around the building in heels and a dress for the second time chasing after my new, ungainly dog.  The third time, as always, proved the charm; that time I held on tight enough to make sure she got safely into the truck, slammed the door shut, rushed over to my side of the car, pushed her back onto the passenger’s side to prevent her running out the driver’s side, and we headed towards home. 

However, Kayla and I decided on the way that we had to get Mandy a collar that fit her, so we stopped at Pet Smart before we got back to the house to try to find the right size collar.  We knew we couldn’t walk her in there on a leash, because she would run away again, but she is a very heavy dog to carry, and we had had to park at the back of the parking lot, so I had the bright idea that we would wheel her into Pet Smart in a grocery cart, thinking that she would not be able to jump over the edge, given that she was so short.  Mandy quickly proved me wrong, teaching me the important lesson that body length can make up for short legs, and sailed out of the grocery cart, running pell mell for the door of Pet Smart across the parking lot, completely oblivious to all cars coming her way and giving me my third run for the day in a dress and heels.

I knew in an instant that rather than have obtained a special present for my little girl, I was about to scar her for life by having her see her dog hit by a car, but Mandy was born under a lucky star, and cruised safely to the door of the Pet Smart, where another kind person held her for me until I could get to her.  I ended up carrying a fifty-five pound dog through Pet Smart in search of a small enough collar with a little girl beside me eager to share the story of the afternoon with everyone we met.  I can promise you that the collar we picked out definitely fit! 

Once we finished that purchase, we hauled Mandy back to the car on a leash, where the other two dogs were patiently waiting, then returned to the house where Mark was waiting to see the labrador or golden retriever we were bringing home.  Instead, he saw this:

He looked at her carefully, looked at Kayla and me, and just asked, “Were they out of retrievers at the kennel?” 

Have a good day everyone!

Wake-Up Call, Lunch Money and Funny Bone


Hi Everyone!

The Best Alarm Clock in the World!

  • Wake-up Call

I confess that I hoped to be writing this much later than I am, since, as a working mom, I had a rare opportunity to sleep in on a weekday, but Mandy had other ideas.  Mark got up at his regular time, and then after about fifteen minutes, Mandy jumped up on the bed and stood there quietly behind me for about 30 seconds.  (It is even odds as to whether this was her own idea or whether Tyra was egging her on.)  When I didn’t pay any attention, then she took her nose, and touched it gently and sweetly to my ear.   I continued to ignore her, so after another pause, she deliberately stepped on my side with her front paws, took another step so that I was between her front and back paws, finished walking over me with her back paws and jumped off the bed and circled around to the other side.  I still continued to ignore her, so she repeated the walk-over.  However, this time instead of circling around to the other side of the bed, she escalated by turning back to where she could reach my face from the floor , waited another few seconds and when I still didn’t get up, she started licking my face furiously, at which time I really had no choice but to start laughing and get up.  If I had rolled over to ignore her yet again, her next step would have been to jump up on the bed and walk on my hair.  That hurts!

  • Lunch Money

Kayla was worried this morning – she might miss second breakfast.  Let me explain.  The school sends home each Thursday the amount of lunch money remaining in her account.  This Thursday, she did not have a balance, but we owed the school 10 cents.  If you owe the school or have a zero balance, you cannot have breakfast until money is posted back in your account.  Although I am sending a check with her today, it won’t be placed into her account until right before lunch, so breakfast at school will not be available.  She explained all this to Mark, who came out to check if I had lunch money to send with her.  As Mark said to me, “She told me she gets first breakfast (at home), second breakfast at school, lunch at school, snack at school, snack at Learning Lodge and she says you’re usually good for a snack right when the two of you get home, but she is worried she about missing second breakfast in case they have cheese grits!”  I gave her a dollar just in case the school was serving cheese grits and sent her away smiling.  Mark was buying her breakfast at McDonald’s, so she was getting extra food for first breakfast, too.  It reminds of the time when, a young and inexperienced couple with no children, we took our nephew, who was about Kayla’s age at the time, to the Kennedy Space Center, and he told his mother after the trip, “It was fun, but they only fed me three times a day!”

  • Funny Bone

I was walking by our kitchen desk area and hit my funny bone hard on the chair in the kitchen.  It was not, as anyone who has had this experience knows, funny at all.  It was one of those self-censoring moments – right when I hit, I started by saying “Gawww….” and remembered to shift streams to finish with “lly gee whilikers!” 

Have a great weekend everyone!

Nancy

Cleaning, Petting the Dogs, The Longest Walk Revisited, Braces and Grammar


Isn’t it great to know that we have made it to another Friday?  Although we have nothing spectacular planned for this weekend, it’s nice –

excuse me while I go retrieve a handkerchief from Bad Dog, who just saw me looking at her and has decided to lie on the handkerchief and pretend that it’s not really there –

 to know that a chance to sleep in and have some additional family time is right around the corner! 

  • Cleaning

Our first activity of the weekend, however, will occur tonight when Miss Kayla gets to clean her bedroom and bathroom once we arrive home.  I don’t think she’s too happy with that itinerary, but it is necessary! 

  • Petting the Dogs

I got the chance last night to sit down with each of the dogs and pet them for a couple of minutes.  Darwin started it, really; I was going over to him to get him to stand up and go out for the last time before we went to bed, and he looked up at me from his dog bed, which is on one side of our fireplace in the den and his tail started wagging furiously.  Darwin’s dog bed is about two sizes too small for him – we have tried buying bigger beds, but he refuses to have anything to do with them – and it constantly amazes us that he can even fit in there!  So, when he started wagging his tail, rather than make him get up right away, I sat down by him and loved on him for a minute.  While I was doing that, Mandy looked up from the dog bed she was using on the other side of the fireplace with kind of a grumpy “Are you really going to wake me up now?” look, so I went over to her to pet her, too.  Petting Mandy is always a sweet experience; for all her foibles in the chewing and counter departments, she is a very loving dog and has the softest hair I have ever felt on a dog.  In my opinion, it is as soft as an angora cat’s hair would be, but less fluffy and infinitely less likely to send me into a sneezing fit!   Having petted the other two dogs, it just wouldn’t do, of course, to leave Tyra out, so I went over to her (she was on the couch, guarding “her man”, ie., Mark, from all comers except me) and stroked her for a while, too.  I got several tail thumps from her for that one.  It just was a sweet moment. 

  • The Longest Walk, Revisited

I was getting ready for bed last night, when my eyes fell upon the pair of shoes I had worn yesterday sitting by my bureau.  I thought about what I wrote yesterday, and decided it couldn’t be too hard to take them to the closet, so I went ahead and picked them up and carried them through the closet door – at which time I pitched them on the floor two inches from the shoe rack where they still remain, along with most of my other shoes.  Oh well, Rome wasn’t built in a day and two inches beats a whole room as a distance to conquer!

  • Kayla’s Braces

I was on the phone with my mom last night, and had just finished telling her that Kayla’s braces weren’t hurting her anymore, when screams started to erupt from her bathroom – the kind of screams that let you know that something is wrong.  I raced in there, got off the phone with my mom, and then got to play the “Stop screaming long enough to tell me what’s wrong” game – any mother will tell you that if you’re not frazzled when you first hear the screams, you will be by the time you finish playing twenty questions in between the screams.  I usually don’t make it to question 9 before my eyes start flashing and smoke starts coming out of my ears, because it is so frustrating to need to help and not be given any information about how to do so.  It turned out that a wire in the back of her mouth had poked into a very tender place in her cheek and stuck there.  It wasn’t in very deep, and we got it pulled out fairly quickly but there was quite some excitement for a minute or two!  After Mark got home, he insisted that Kayla put some wax on that wire, and put on the Canker-X medicine the doctor gave her, and that helped, too. 

  • Grammar

I have tried to use English correctly in these posts, but”lie” and “lay” defeat me – I have a 50/50 shot at it, but usually get it wrong.  So, if anyone knows, did Mandy “lay” on the handkerchief, or did she “lie” on the handkerchief, and is there a good way to remember the difference? 

Have a great weekend everyone and I will talk to you on Monday!

Nancy

Odds and Ends


Good morning everyone!  It’s hard to believe we have arrived at Wednesday already! 

  • Kayla deprived of her morning fire 

Yesterday morning was another one of those days when I had a very hard time chivvying Kayla out of hibernation and into the cold, cruel world for another day.  Once I got her awake, she came be-bopping into the den to get dressed in front of the fireplace – only to find out that access was blocked because we had put some clothes up there from ironing.  Let’s just say her reaction was not positive; tears and drama were both involved.  When she said she was cold, I pointed out, yet again, that if she would go ahead and get dressed, she would start to warm up.  She wasn’t too thrilled with the logic of that statement!

  • No-No and Bad Dog Strike Again

Once I got Kayla shipped off to school with Mark, I then had the opportunity to start to get ready for work myself, in between retrieving items from No-No (Darwin) and Bad Dog (Mandy).  Darwin is “No-no” because when you tell him “No” about something he at least thinks about listening to you.   Mandy is “Bad Dog” because she really doesn’t care what you think about her activities.  (That laid back basset hound temperament strikes again!)  Yesterday morning’s festivities included rescuing two of Mark’s handkerchiefs, a pair of my hose, and Tyra’s dog bed from our bedroom from the miscreant pair.  Then, just for grins and giggles, the pair gave me the opportunity to rescue one of the two handkerchiefs for a second time last night.  (I also just had to rescue a dish towel from Darwin a second ago.)  We really are putting these things up; Darwin is just tall enough to reach whatever Mandy tells him to get.  The amazing thing is that no socks have been involved in the past 24 hours; I would guess that’s because Mandy has not yet seen a pair suitable for sharing!

  • Floor Decorations

It rained hard on Monday, which has left the back yard still pretty wet and muddy.  We have beautiful dark wood floors in the main part of our house, so we now have the added pleasure of random paw prints scattered on the floor throughout the den.  The most definite, and largest, paw prints are Darwin’s, and the second best prints are made by Mandy.  It adds a certain air of individuality to the floor!  That air will be lost once I am sure that the yard is dry enough to keep any attempts at wiping up the paw prints from being an exercise in futility. 

  • Sunday Night Eating Out

I have mentioned before that Kayla’s imagination is amazing to me.  We ate out Sunday night, and I got some grilled shrimp on a wooden skewer.  Because Kayla got baked potato soup, she was finished well before either Mark or I, so she picked up my skewer and started pretending like it was a pointer that she could use to show pictures of a house to us.  She started out by offering us a four bedroom house with two kitchens and a bonus room for $50.00.  By the time she finished, she was offering us a four bedroom house with two kitchens and five bonus rooms fully furnished (the fifth bonus room was for the dogs and came complete with 18 pairs of socks for Mandy to chew) with a large backyard (location of said house to be determined later) for $0.00.  We told her she drove a hard bargain, but that the last offer was too good to refuse! 

Have a great day everyone!

Spring and the Call that all Working Mothers Groan At


Spring is definitely starting to make an appearance in this part of Alabama.  This morning I saw my first blooming daffodils (they always seem to just pop up overnight) and my first tulip trees starting to bloom.  I haven’t seen any yellow bells (fuchsia to those more horticulturally minded) but if the daffodils are blooming they can’t be too far behind!  Even if the cold weather returns, I am going to enjoy these first signs of spring for as long as I can.

Today I got the phone call that makes every working mother groan.  It never comes on a day when I have nothing to do, when it is convenient for me to deal with, or when no projects are pending.  No, this phone call always chooses to come usually 1) right after I have taken a day off; 2) when lots of stuff is going on at work, and 3) when a project is due.  You guessed it – the school called to tell me that Kayla wasn’t feeling well.  The nurse let me talk to Kayla, which always brings forth the most pitiful little voice on the voice saying, “Hi Mama!”  which makes you feel like the meanest mom in the world if you dare to tell her she has to stick it out for the whole day. 

She had a very bad headache that had lasted all day, and the school can’t go ahead and give her any Tylenol because it violates school policy.  She hasn’t gone to the nurse nearly as much as she did last year, so I broke the “no fever/no stay” rule in hopes that I could get the sinus problem taken care of today so that we’re not dealing with these headaches for the next 8 weeks.  She was a little surprised to find out that coming home sick when Mom still has to work has all kinds of unpleasant little rules like “you must lay down in your room with the light off until 3 p.m.”, “no, you don’t get to watch the rest of Beezus and Ramona when you come home sick,” and “no, girls do not get to call their friends when they come home sick.”  She has taken most of the rules with very good grace, though, and we even survived working through her homework on “deckimals” today!  I will be working “second shift” tonight, but at least she is feeling better!

Reality, Drama and Chaos


Today’s post was going to be about what a nice day Kayla and I had together for President’s Day, and how well she behaved at the orthodontist for her records appointment, (and I may still get there in another post) but, alas, having arrived home reality and drama have both set in with a vengeance.  We stopped on the way home from Opelika to pick up the dogs from the kennel, so when we hit the house in the Ford Escape, Kayla was in the front seat, Mandy was on the console between the front and the back, and Tyra and Darwin stood guard at the front of the back seat.  As we pulled up, I told her to not let the dogs out until she got the door to the house open.  Of course, she went ahead and let Darwin out, so he was milling in the garage for a minute or two while he tried to decide if he was going to make a break for it.  When we got all three dogs corraled and back into the house, I let her go inside while I went outside to bring in her books that we bought at Books a Million and then walked in to find her pitching a fit because the remote wouldn’t work right (she was trying to watch Beezus and Ramona) and because she couldn’t reach her friend Rebekah on the phone.  (This is after an afternoon where, after her orthodontist appointment, she got to buy books at the bookstore, have lunch with Mark and me at Cracker Barrel, get her hair washed and dried at HeadMaster’s in Auburn, and got a manicure as well as a drink from Chick-fil-a!).  Because the remote had a message about the battery, she decided to fling all of the batteries out of it and replace them (Item:  she is not supposed to touch the remote.  Period.)  In doing so, somehow some of the codes have been lost and the remote won’t work correctly now, especially with respect to the TV.  I sat down on the couch to try to see what I could do with the remote, which ended up being nothing.  While I was on the couch,  Darwin, whose water consumption I failed to monitor in the excitement over the remote, decided to throw up every ounce of the vast water  he had just drunk in the middle of the floor.  (All right, I caught a break there; he could have chosen carpet.)  I never could fix the remote, Kayla reached her friend Rebekah twice more but now is crying because Rebekah had to get off the phone and I have had the (apparently in her world completely unreasonable idea) that she should start to clean her room!  She just told me that her life was terrible.  Sigh.   Hopefully later, when the fit stops, I can talk about what a wonderful day we had before we came home!

UPDATE:  I didn’t catch a break with Darwin after all nor had he managed to rid himself of every ounce of water he had just drunk, either; he was just waiting for a convenient moment to slip into the carpeted bedroom to finish up twice, so I ended up cleaning the carpet, too.