Somewhere along the line, a very important election was held, and the women either weren’t informed about it, or completely shut out of the voting process.
That’s the only explanation I can come up with for some of the following:
1) Panty Hose
Joe Namath notwithstanding, panty hose is an extremely odd fashion accessory to saddle a woman with. Not only do they rip and run very easily (I average one wearing per pair) but a woman has about a 1 in 3 chance of getting them on correctly to the point that they are even halfway comfortable. And in climates such as the Deep South, they are not designed to keep you cooler throughout the day!
Exactly who dreamed up the idea that females should every day spread a range and assortment of very expensive goop in varying amounts across their faces, and then paint on top of the goop? Or, conversely, who decided that only women, and not men too, needed to perform this ritual?
3) Shopping for Clothes
Have you ever gone shopping with a man for clothes? The clothes are all laid out neatly in sections together – pants with pants, shirts with shirts, underwear in a neat section behind the counter. Women’s clothes, on the other hand, as a general rule, are scattered throughout the women’s section, with only loose groupings of sizes (misses, women’s and petites) and “occasion” dresses.
Adult men’s clothing styles, for the most part (excluding the 1970’s)are very stable. The one fashion item for men that seems to change drastically every once in a while is the width of ties – and since they have two choices, wide ties and narrow ties, all they have to do is have a selection of both and they are covered either way. Women’s clothing styles can change as much as three times in one year.
With the notable exception of platform shoes from the seventies, men’s shoes tend to stay flat, and fairly comfortable. Women’s shoes come in all shapes and sizes, and apparently the higher the heel the more attractive the shoe. The only problem for me is that I can’t walk well in anything higher than about a 1-inch heel.
My husband can wash and brush his hair and be ready to go out the door in 5 minutes. My hair (admittedly it is getting long right now) takes a lot longer – I’m lucky to get it washed and blown dry in 15 to 20 minutes. For him to get his hair cut costs about $15.00 at the same barber shop he has been going to since he went to college lo these many years ago. I can’t even get my hair shampooed for that!
7) The failure to invent the riding vacuum cleaner
According to Ehow.com, the first riding lawn mower (powered by horses) was invented in 1900, and the first gas-powered riding lawn mower was invented in 1919. The world still awaits the invention of the (non-horse-powered, of course) riding vacuum cleaner.
My husband can work every audio-visual piece of equipment in the house and the remotes that come with them with no difficulty whatsoever. I can use the same equipment, do the exact same thing that he does in the exact same order, and the *&^%%$%#%$^^&%& equipment still refuses to work.
9) The Automatic Laundry Folding Machine
We can send a man to the moon, and build a space station, but we can’t invent an affordable machine that will automatically fold my laundry once it finishes in the dryer? Priorities people!
So, Ladies, keep your eyes peeled. Surely these things will come up for a vote again sometime in the next 500 years, and this time, let’s make sure we show up!
Have a great day everyone!