Good morning Everyone!
We begin the history of bowling by returning today to the story of Ugg and Uggette. (Their history, lost until recently, was discovered in cave paintings found in the tunnels under Disneyworld, which were opened to archeologists for the first time two years ago.)
When last we left them, Ugg and Uggette had discovered laundry. Ugg thought the task should belong to Uggette and Uggette agreed to it mostly because she felt guilty that she had pushed Ugg into the stream. (See, A Highly Biased History of Washing Machines.)
There was, however, one unintended benefit in laundry for Uggette and one unintended problem for Ugg – someone had to watch the 10 little Uggitos and Uggitas while Uggette was away at the stream, and by sheer process of elimination the task fell to Ugg.
One fine afternoon, Uggette, desiring some time to herself, decided to take the laundry down to a better stream than the one on the front step of their cave, so she ventured off with the clothes, leaving Ugg, who had participated in a particularly difficult mammoth hunt the day before, in charge of the 10 little Uggitos and Uggitas. Ugg looked at his offspring, looked back at the cave, and, after fleetingly wishing that electricity, television and football had already been invented, threatened the Uggitos and Uggitas within an inch of their lives if they departed the clearing and slipped into the cave to take a nap.
Unfortunately, Ugg neglected to tell the tykes to be quiet, so after about 30 minutes, he received a rude awakening when they decided to hold a wolf howling contest. Infuriated, he snatched up his club to knock a few heads about, but then, reflecting that he hadn’t enjoyed his first stream dunking, that Uggette probably wouldn’t be happy with any head knocking on the offspring, and that he actually was sort of fond of them himself, he put the club down and snatched up a large round stone instead.
The Uggitos and Uggitas were howling with gusto, lined up in several rows, with the littlest one in front. Ugg held his round stone, took careful aim, and rolled it hard at the bunch of them. Those who were in the direct path of the stone scattered, and bowling was born. (For the record, the first bowl in history was a split; the little ones in the center scattered, but the two oldest on each end held their ground.) Ugg never did get back to his nap – the kids completely missed the point of the stone and insisted that Dad continue to play the new game he had invented with them.
Have a great day everyone!