Good morning Everyone!
Welcome to Mystery Investigations – Going to the Dogs, a new reality show that chronicles the investigations performed by our intrepid adventurer who refuses to stop until she has reached the truth. Today’s episode features “The Mystery of the Missing Chicken.”
I brought home a serving of chicken and rice as takeout one evening, and unfortunately Mark did not like the chicken. I went ahead and fixed him a can of soup, so while I was doing so, I placed the chicken plate on the kitchen counter and then forgot about it – until I brought the soup bowl back in the kitchen, where I found the following plate awaiting me:
While I am not a trained investigator, it was difficult to miss the fact that the leg and breast quarter that formerly resided on the plate was now missing. Even worse, it was completely missing – there were no left over bones lying on the kitchen floor, no grease anywhere, no chicken skin or spare pieces of chicken. Not a single speck.
Since Kayla wasn’t home that night, we only had three potential suspects.
1) Our oldest dog, Tyra, an Australian Shepherd mix who is 10 years old.
2) Our middle dog, Mandy a/k/a Bad Dog, who is somewhere around 5, but I never can remember exactly how old she is.
3) Our youngest dog, Darwin a/k/a No-No, who will be 3 on December 15.
Using the time-honored method of means, motive and opportunity, Tyra was quickly eliminated. Not only is she completely blind, but even on her hind paws she would never be tall enough to reach the top of the counter.
That left me with only two suspects remaining, Darwin and Mandy. Both of them had the means – Darwin is tall, and Mandy is long. Both of them had a sufficient motive – cooked chicken apparently is a far cry better than Kibbles and Bits! Finally, both of them had opportunity, since they both were out of sight for at least some period of time while I was sitting with Mark while he ate his soup. So instead I had to turn to the less reliable and normally inadmissible realm of character evidence.
In court, evidence regarding a person’s character in the past is not admissible to prove guilt for the crime the person is currently accused of. There are exceptions to that rule, and I judicially decreed another exception for dogs who steal chicken off of the counter.
Reviewing the character evidence available to me, it was clear that the culprit was not Darwin, but Mandy.
First, Bad Dog did not earn her name unjustly. She likes to chew, will do so unabashedly and will pluck things off of a table or a counter in a heartbeat, as this video shows:
Second, before Mandy was found and put in the Montgomery Humane Society Shelter for Kayla and I to find her, she survived scavenging in the dumpster at McDonald’s, and probably other places as well. She has still not forgotten how to scavenge, and isn’t afraid to practice her survival skills at a moment’ s notice.
Third, Mandy was the only dog who looked like this when an inquiry was made about the chicken:
Even without the post-chicken bone digestive problems the next day, I think I had an air tight case against her, don’t you?
Have a great day everyone!