I had hoped that by the time Kayla hit age 11, we would be evolving out of the stage where I continue to discover rules that I never thought I would need as a parent. Apparently, that is not true.
Here is the new rule:
Do not use the barbecue lighter to burn an egg shell and paper together in your bedroom, even if you were impressed with the welding demonstration at the junior college the previous day.
Fortunately, it was not necessary to call the fire department, and nothing in the house was harmed.
Here is the original list.
1) Do not squirt the ink out of a ballpoint pen in the bathroom and mix it with water in order to make ink “like Harry Potter uses.” (Age 10).
2) Do not lose control of the ballpoint pen and ink during the squirting process, spraying black ink all over the bathroom. (Age 10).
3) If you do spray black ink all over the bathroom, do not fail to call in reinforcements immediately. (Age 10).
4) Do not bring lady bugs, worms, crickets, roly-poly’s, moths, butterflies, lizards or any other type of insect or reptile into the house as pets. (Ages 5-10 and counting.)
5) Mom is the spider killing expert, but roaches need to be handled by Dad.
6) When your mother who is recovering from surgery tells you she has to take a nap, gives you the run of the house and the back yard with the sole restriction being do not go out the front door until she is awake, do not lock the dogs in the back yard, and play with your friends for two hours with the front door open, you on the inside side of the door and your friends on the outside side of the door. (Age 10).
7) Do not jam your elbow into a plastic hurricane glass until it gets stuck in an effort to keep the infinitesimal scratch on your elbow from getting wet in the bath and stinging. (Age 9).
8 ) Do not feed paper to the dogs as a treat. At least two of the three are dumb enough to believe you. (Age 10).
9) Soap is required for a bath to really be a bath. (Age 5).
10) Do not wash your hair with conditioner only. (Age 8 through 9).
11) It’s not a good idea to fill the bathroom sink with Dixie cups and then fill it with water. (Age 6 but she had help from a visiting 4-year-old.)
12) Do not dump the entire bottle of shampoo in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
13) Do not dump the entire bottle of liquid soap from the sink in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
14) Do not dump the entire bottle of conditioner in the tub for reasons I have yet to understand. (Ages 6 through 8).
15) Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you. (Age 6).
16) The controls on the dashboard in the car, including the radio, are MINE! Please leave them alone. (Ages 4 to 10 and counting).
17) Do not try to pierce your ears with the end of a paper clip, even if it looks like an earring hole is there. (Age 6 and 7).
18) Do not cook eggs on the stove without a parent’s presence and permission. (About age 7: this one is harder to justify because the one time that she did cook the eggs by herself, she did a good job and remembered to turn the stove off, which is more than I do sometimes!)
19) Do not cut the screen out of its frame in the window. (Age 5).
20) Do not put anything in your ear, including rocks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4.)
21) Do not put anything in your nose, including wooden sticks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4)
22) Which led to: Do not put anything in any body part for any reason unless a parent says it is okay, with the exception of food or drink in your mouth.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Very funny. I look forward to my “mom rules” as my boys grow older.
That’s the basis for a good sitcom.
Every bit of it is true, too, although it took us 8 years to comple the list!
This made my day! Thanks Nancy!
My pleasure, as always, Drusilla!