Good morning Everyone!
June is the season of weddings. On June 27, Mark and I will have been married for 27 years. While 27 years of marriage may not be as impressive as 50 or 70, we feel like it is an accomplishment and have enjoyed every minute of it. In honor of our 27th anniversary, here are some random tips for a successful marriage.
1) Have separate bathrooms.
2) If you can’t have separate bathrooms, at least fight for separate sinks and vanities!
3) When you are in the unfortunate predicament of having to share one bathroom with one (teensy tiny) vanity, keep your sense of humor.
Once, when Mark and I were sharing a tiny bathroom, I came home to find a piece of paper pinned to our bathroom door entitled “1o1 Things Martin Luther Would Have Objected To Had He Shared Your Bathroom.”
4) Men, if you have to share a small bathroom, do NOT ask your wife what takes her so long to get ready. The answer, gentlemen, is that you get up, wash your hair, get dressed in one of three or four suits that look identical and go to work. We, having lost a vote somewhere along the line that no one can remember now, must get up, wash our hair, dry our hair, style our hair, put on our makeup, get dressed in a distinctively different outfit every day and go to work. Just do the math!
5) Be best friends as well as lovers.
Romance is wonderful and exhilarating and necessary but it only goes so far. When one of you has the stomach flu, it’s friendship and love, not romance, that has the other one doing everything he or she can to help.
6) Never get grumpy and out of sorts at the same time.
We have been spared who knows how many spats simply because we tend to take being grumpy and cross in shifts. Those few times when we are both grumpy and cross at the same time requires each of us to bite our tongues to the point that we have an oral surgeon on standby.
7) Before you have a child, raise a puppy.
You learn an awful lot about parenting by raising a puppy together. I would put a puppy up against a two year old any day in terms of the amount of damage it can cause when unsupervised. If both you and the puppy survive the puppy eating the arm of the recliner you got from your grandfather down to the wooden frame (Woof did that), you can survive anything a child will throw at you. For those out there who are not dog people, I suppose a kitten might accomplish the same thing. Never having had one (although I wouldn’t say no to a Maine coon cat), I can’t say.
8) Love is a verb, not a noun.
Love is not a feeling; love is getting up to refill your husband’s drink even when you are tired yourself because you know how badly he is hurting from his arthritis. Love is mowing the lawn because you know it has to be done even when you are having an arthritis attack. Love is seeing beyond the outburst of the moment and holding your spouse close because you know she is doing the best she can to fight her depression. Love is all the little things that you do for each other that over time add up to the big conclusion that your spouse cares about you.
9) Put on blinders.
A super organized spouse living with those of us not given the gift of organization needs to wear blinders at least part of the time. To quote Jessica from Roger Rabbit, “We’re not bad; we’re just drawn this way!”
10) If you ask your wife what’s wrong, and she answers “nothing,” be afraid. Be very afraid. Use risk-reward analysis to decide whether it is worthwhile to pursue the discussion any further.
11) If your wife hits the side of the garage with the mirror of the Hyundai Sonata multiple times, refuse to lose your temper – no matter what you may have to say to yourself later locked in the bathroom alone. And if she has a little fender bender on U.S. Highway 280 with the same car during the same time period, try to focus on how grateful you are it wasn’t worse. Suggesting additional driving lessons is not a good idea.
12) Never, never, never give up! (borrowed from Winston Churchill talking about something else.)
Have a great day!