Tag Archives: puppies

Tips for a Successful Marriage

Good morning Everyone!

Roses, Dozen Roses, Flower Arrangement

Anniversary Roses from Mark

June is the season of weddings.  On June 27, Mark and I will have been married for 27 years.  While 27 years of marriage may not be as impressive as 50 or 70, we feel like it is an accomplishment and have enjoyed every minute of it.  In honor of our 27th anniversary, here are some random tips for a successful marriage.

1)     Have separate bathrooms.

2)    If you can’t have separate bathrooms, at least fight for separate sinks and vanities!

3)     When you are in the unfortunate predicament of having to share one  bathroom with one (teensy tiny) vanity, keep your sense of humor.

Once, when Mark and I were sharing a tiny  bathroom, I came home to find a piece of paper pinned to our bathroom door entitled “1o1 Things Martin Luther Would Have Objected To Had He Shared Your Bathroom.”

4)     Men, if you have to share a small bathroom, do NOT  ask your wife what takes her so long to get ready.  The answer, gentlemen, is that you get up, wash your hair, get dressed in one of three or four suits that look identical and go to work.  We, having lost a vote somewhere along the line that no one can remember now, must get up, wash our hair, dry our hair,  style our hair, put on our makeup, get dressed in a distinctively different outfit every day and go to work.  Just do the math!

5)      Be best friends as well as lovers.

Romance is wonderful and exhilarating and necessary but it only goes so far.  When one of you has the stomach flu, it’s friendship and love, not romance, that has the other one doing everything he or she can to help.

6)     Never get grumpy and out of sorts at the same time.

We have been spared who knows how many spats simply because we tend to take being grumpy and cross in shifts.  Those few times when we are both grumpy and cross at the same time requires each of us to bite our tongues to the point that we have an oral surgeon on standby.

7)    Before you have a child, raise a puppy.

 You learn an awful lot about parenting by raising a puppy together.  I would put a puppy up against a two year old any day in terms of the amount of damage it can cause when unsupervised.  If both you and the puppy survive the puppy eating the arm of the recliner you got from your grandfather down to the wooden frame (Woof did that), you can survive anything a child will throw at you.  For those out there who are not dog people, I suppose a kitten might accomplish the same thing.  Never having had one (although I wouldn’t say no to a Maine coon cat), I can’t say.

8)      Love is a verb, not a noun.

Love is not a feeling; love is getting up to refill your husband’s drink even when you are tired yourself because you know how badly he is hurting from his arthritis.  Love is mowing the lawn because you know it has to be done even when you are having an arthritis attack.  Love is seeing beyond the outburst of the moment and holding your spouse close because you know she is doing the best she can to fight her depression.  Love is all the little things that you do for each other that over time add up to the big conclusion that your spouse cares about you.

9)     Put on blinders.

A super organized spouse living with those of us not given the gift of organization needs to wear blinders at least part of the time.  To quote Jessica from Roger Rabbit, “We’re not bad; we’re just drawn this way!”

10)     If you ask your wife what’s wrong, and she answers “nothing,” be afraid.  Be very afraid.  Use risk-reward analysis to decide whether it is worthwhile to pursue the discussion any further.

11)     If your wife hits the side of the garage with the mirror of the Hyundai Sonata multiple times, refuse to lose your temper – no matter what you may have to say to yourself later locked in the bathroom alone.  And if she has a little fender bender on U.S. Highway 280 with the same car during the same time period, try to focus on how grateful you are it wasn’t worse.  Suggesting additional driving lessons is not a good idea.

12)     Never, never, never give up!  (borrowed from Winston Churchill talking about something else.)

Have a great day!



Drunken Puppies

Good morning Everyone!



Every once in a while, you run across a headline that makes you go “hmmmmmm…..”  Today I ran across the following gem:  “Pet Store Bans Drunken Puppy Buying.”  After I looked twice to be sure I read it correctly, the thought crossed my mind that the headline makes a lot of sense.  After all, how can a puppy make a good owner choice if it is drunk?  And if drinking and driving is bad (and it is), how can you condone drinking and selecting an owner? 

Coordination is an issue too.  Puppies have a hard enough time walking and navigating around a room to begin; imagine the effects if alcohol is added to the mix!  I knew a puppy (Shadow) who used to love to run through tunnels she had made under the bed between storage boxes at night at full speed – until the night she made a wrong turn and slammed head first into the bedroom wall.  (We didn’t see it, but we heard it.)  How much worse would it have been if she had been drunk!

Shadow and Woof - Never Drunk but Always Crazy!

We all know that alcohol impairs judgment and a puppy’s judgment is questionable at best to begin with; I suspect it would be nonexistent with alcohol added.  The first week we had him, Darwin decided to tear out all of our porch screens in three days. If he had had one or two daiquiris beforehand, not only screen replacement, but also a vet visit would have been in order, since his lack of balance would have precipitated him over the 15 foot drop between the porch and the ground.  (Vets are much more expensive than screens, for those of you keeping score.)

The Terminator! (Of Screens)

And let’s think a minute people – is it really a good idea to give a mind-altering substance to an animal that loses its mind when it experiences its first car ride with the windows down or its first potato chip?   For that matter, how exactly do you give a puppy a breathalyzer test and what is the legal limit for puppies?  The enforcement issues are mind-blowing!

So, kudos to the pet store for the courage to take a stand and here’s hope for the rehabilitation of all those drunken puppies! 

Have a great day!