Tag Archives: housework

Hints for Household Helpers Under the Age of 16

Good morning Everyone!

Certain circumstances having arisen in my household, I wish to aid household helpers under the age of 16 with the following hints.

  1.  Pushing the vacuum cleaner over the floor does not count unless the vacuum cleaner is also removing dust, dog hair, paper and other detritus from the floor.
  2.  A see through canister on the vacuum cleaner is not there merely for your viewing pleasure. When the canister resembles a water balloon about to burst, it needs to be emptied.
  3. If the engine of said vacuum cleaner starts to smoke, the canister definitely must be emptied.  Unplugging it at this point is a good idea, too.  Please remember that we keep the fire extinguisher centrally located for the good of all under the kitchen sink.
  4. The terms “window cleaner” and “window streaker” are not synonymous.
  5. Dishes that come out of the dishwasher without feeling clean should be returned to the dishwasher for another round.  If they still are not clean after that, you must hand wash the items.
  6. If the drink glass you pull from the dishwasher feels as if there is a hidden message transcribed in braille on the outside, it is not clean.
  7. Putting said drink glass on the highest shelf possible does not render the glass clean or relieve the household helper of culpability.
  8.  If you have pets, pantry doors and trash bins need to be firmly closed once the cleaning is done.  Otherwise, you will end up doing it all over again after the pets enjoy the wondrous smorgasbord you have set before them.
  9. The phrase “empty the dishwasher” is not synonymous with “empty the dishwasher – except the silverware.”  Parents do notice when they open the silverware drawer and find the silverware set consists of two teaspoons and a knife.
  10. If a parent begins any sentence with “Perhaps you should….”  the following instruction is not optional.  Your parent is trying to tell you something nicely.
  11. The “whole house” means the whole house.  It does not mean the living room and the kitchen only.
  12. Please explain exactly how you can claim to have vacuumed or dusted thoroughly when items such as clothing and shoes that were on the floor when you began your work remain in the same spot in an unaltered state when you are finished.
  13. You are not abused or misused because we expect you to help with the housework.  And yes, when you go off to college, we will probably hire someone to do the house for us once a week.  Get over it.  You can do the same thing to your children once you have them.
  14. Most of us do not expect your work to pass the white glove test.  (Google it.)  However, if the dust on the surface of anything is deep enough that we can write our names in it or draw pictures, it needs to be dusted.
  15. We parents appreciate your help.  Really.  It’s just hard to remember to say so when steam is blowing out of our ears because you know and we know that you have not given us your best effort.

Happy helping, household helpers!

Have a great day everyone.


Cheese Grits, the Sequel and Where only the Brave Dare Go

Hi Everyone! 

  • Cheese Grits, the Sequel

From Print Shop 2.0 - Rising Steam

Last night, Kayla was helping Mark while I was cooking supper.  I left the kitchen to go check on them, and when I got to the room, Kayla said to me, “I wish I could have cheese grits for supper, like the ones they make at school or that Grandma Pat makes.”  (Steam started rising from my stomach toward my ears.)  She then added, “That’s because they have the right kind of grits and cheese.”  (The steam hit my head and started to roll around my eyes in advance of a full whistle blast.)  She reflected a minute, then added cheerfully, “Well, you have the right kind of box but not the right kind of cheese.”  (Small wisps of steam began to slip out from my ears.)  At that point, I told her that she probably should quit while she was behind, and went back to working on supper, which, for the record, was NOT cheese grits and probably won’t be for some time!

  • Where Only the Brave Dare Go

The Inside of My Refrigerator (Not!) From PrintShop 2.0

I really looked at the inside of my refrigerator last night.  To really look at the inside of your refrigerator means that you have to intentionally look at every item on every shelf, as opposed to the instant identification search you do most of the time – ie., you want milk, locate milk, grab milk and return the rest of the refrigerator’s occupants to the comforting, cool dark that they love. 

When I did look, I saw that the inside of the refrigerator is beginning to be a very scary place, which means that the time to clean out the refrigerator has arrived again.  The last time I went through the refrigerator, say six months ago (Mom, I am just kidding – I have cleaned it out since Christmas!), throwing out all leftovers and other items I could not place a date on, I found three science experiments involving fermentation (I didn’t know until then that it was possible for lima beans to ferment), two new kinds of penicillin, three mutant bacteria that did NOT have good intentions for humanity, and four cures for cancer.  If you see the HazMat team headed toward my house this weekend, you will know what caused it!

Have a great weekend everyone!