Tag Archives: food

Top Things That Irritate Me at Fast-Food Drive-Thrus


Good morning Everyone!

fast food window

Cartoon Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
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I use fast food drive-thrus far more than I should.  Here are some of the things that irritate me the most:

1)  The failure to follow simple rules of etiquette.  The words “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” shouldn’t be considered archaic and outdated!

2)  Giving me a regular Coke when I ordered a Diet Coke.

3) Worse, giving me a Dr. Pepper or Diet Dr. Pepper when I have ordered a Diet Coke.

4) Those drive-thrus that deliberately plot against me by giving me the correct drink 20 times in a row than failing to give me the right drink the one time in 21 trips that I do not check the drink before I pull out of the drive thru.  (How do they know?)

Soda cup

Photo Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
All rights reserved.

5)  When did ketchup and napkins become luxury items doled out in dribbles?

6)  Getting my order wrong.  Especially when I don’t realize it until after I have left the drive thru window.

7) Putting a sign up ordering me to turn off my windshield wipers when I pull up to the window.  I do it anyhow, of course, just to be polite, but I don’t appreciate being ordered to do so.

8)  Being called “sweetie”, “honey” or “darling” by people half my age.

Graphic Credit:  www.clickartonline.com All rights reserved.

Graphic Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
All rights reserved.

9)  Receiving a deluxe hamburger with only cheese and pickles on it when I asked for a deluxe hamburger with everything on it except cheese and pickles.  I think the cook who did that not only bore a grudge but a sense of humor.

10)  Asking me for my order, then only entering the first thing I say after I give you the entire order.  Then asking me again, only to enter the second thing I say while I give you the entire order.  Repeat ad nauseam.

Have a great day!

Nancy

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Kayla’s Kitchen Kaper


Good morning Everyone!

Last night, Kayla asked me if she could fix the  Kraft Macaroni and Cheese we were having at supper and deciding it was time to loosen up on my Mac N’ Cheese obsession, I said yes.

I suggested to her that she might want to get the ingredients out before the noodles were done.   She told me that there weren’t any extra ingredients to the mac n’ cheese besides the packet from the box!  I told her she needed butter and to call me when she was ready to mix so I could give her the other instructions.

12 year old brain in training

That was my mistake – I gave a 12-year-old two tasks in one sentence.  Apparently, their brains can’t handle it.

Mark announced that the pork chops were almost ready.  I waited for Kayla to let me know she was ready to mix the stuff up.  Instead, this colloquy occurred.

Mark:  Did you drain that before you mixed it up?

Kayla:  Nobody told me too!

Me (from the den):  I told you to ask me when you were ready to fix it!

Kayla:  No you didn’t!

Mark:  Well, actually, yes she did.

Kayla (to me):  You could have told me that I had to drain it first!

Mark:  How many times have you watched Mom make mac n’ cheese?  Let’s see if we can save it.  Go ahead and get the colander out.

Silence, then Kayla to Mark:  It’s not funny!

Mark and I:  Well, actually, yes, yes it is.

I’ll omit the stories of parent’s pasts, which include attempts by Mark and one of his friends to make mashed potatoes without boiling them (his sister was removing random pieces of potato from the ceiling the remaining six years they lived in that particular house) and the absent-mindedness that caused me twice (years apart) to place my palm directly on a piping hot stove burner seconds after I had just removed the pan and should have known better.

It’s nice to know that Kayla is carrying on the family tradition!

Have a great day!

Nancy

Mid-Move


Good morning Everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that I haven’t forgotten you; over the past two weeks, we have been moving from our rental house to our old house that never sold – and we are VERY happy to have been doing so!  As soon as we get settled ( and we’re getting close to that now) and I get my new schedule ironed out, I will be back posting regularly.

refrigerator

The refrigerator in the rental house

In the meantime, I have at least one funny story to share from the move.  One of Kayla’s jobs before the movers came was to clean out the rental house’s refrigerator and freezer.  When she was given the task, she disappeared and then reappeared in about five minutes, informing us that she was done.  Both Mark and I knew that there was no way she could have cleaned the fridge and freezer that quickly, so we sent her back to do the job right, much to her chagrin.

In doing so, I specifically asked her if she had gotten the ice cream out of the fridge – someone had put softened ice cream back in the freezer at some point, and it had dripped onto the freezer bottom.  She admitted she hadn’t.

When we kicked her back into play the second time, she was gone for a little while longer, but again returned, announcing she was done.  We went on to the next task.  By the end of the day, we had accumulated several garbage bags worth of trash, so Mark and I put them into the dumpster.  I noticed that two of the bags were very heavy.

When I opened the refrigerator and freezer that night, I was stunned – not one shelf had been wiped off, and the ice cream drip was still on the freezer floor.  However, there was not one single item left in either the refrigerator or freezer – besides the residues that needed to be wiped off, the fridge and freezer were empty!

After Mark and I called Kayla back into the kitchen for the third time to clean the fridge and freezer, we retired into another room where we could laugh without seeing us.  She certainly had cleaned OUT the fridge and freezer, but not in the way we meant!  The good news is that nothing in my fridge and freezer now is out of date.

Have a great day!

Nancy

Like Mother, Like Daughter


Good  morning Everyone!

Kayla left with my mother yesterday for about a ten-day trip to visit some family members, and so I was helping her to get up and get ready.

After she finished her bath, she disappeared into her room and silence reigned.  After about 10 minutes of that, I called out, from the den “Kayla, you need to be getting dressed!”

From her room, she replied, “I am!”

I said, “You need to stop lying on your bed drying off and start actively putting clothes on.”  FN1.

Her voice drifted down the hall again, amazed, “How did you know?”

Fast forward to about 7:30 in the evening, when Mom had Kayla call to check in with us.  I told her that since it was just Mark and I at home, I had fixed him a gourmet dinner – pan con gelee y butre especial FN. 2.   She snorted on the other end of the phone and asked, “What is that – spaghetti and meatballs?”  I laughed and told her she was close – it was peanut butter and jelly.

It’s nice and funny that we know each other so very well!

Mother Daughet Photo

Kayla and I, Gatlinburg, November, 2013

Have a great day!

Nancy

FN1.  Yes, it bothers me too – she wraps herself in a towel and then lies down on her bed after her bath to dry off.  Every single bath.  Without fail.  And yes, her sheets do get damp, but somehow they always are dry again by nightfall.

FN2.  I made that phrase up, of course; I’m pretty sure either the French or Spanish words for “butter” are not “butre.”  I just needed something that had a nice ring to it.

 

 

The Best Diet Plan Ever!


Good morning Everyone!

Quite by accident, I have discovered the single greatest diet plan ever – even better than the 1 to 4 ratio imposed on anything that we eat around here that the dogs feel they should get a part of  (one bite me, three bites dogs!).

Clip Art Illustration of a Silhouette of a Woman Holding Her Wai

The Best Diet Plan Ever!
PhotoCredit: http://www.clickartonline.com

You need two ingredients:

1) Food in the house;

2) A 12-year-old girl.

A dill pickle

A Dill Pickle

Kayla started riding the bus to and from school a couple of weeks ago, which leaves her with a short period of time during which she is free to raid cupboards and the refrigerator to her heart’s content.  While Mark had already reconciled himself to the fact that he will never have a pickle he can eat at the house until Kayla goes to college, and I was already checking whether we needed peanut butter at least twice as often as I used to, we didn’t really expect that everything sweet in the house (except for the box of HoneySmacks I have hidden on the top shelf of the pantry behind the bread maker so Mark will have something – shhhh!) would be gone each week by Tuesday.  By Wednesday, fruit, apple sauce, peas, stew and vegetable beef soup have managed to disappear.  I suspect by Friday, we will be down to bread and water.

empty refrigerator

Looking for Something to Eat!
Photo Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com

The start-up costs for this diet were pretty low, since we had all the ingredients to hand, but I suspect that the long-term costs may end up being astronomical.  At least until Kayla graduates college and enters into a profession that will enable her to support Mark and I in the lifestyle to which we desire to become accustomed!

Have a great day!

Nancy

Exit Guilt; Enter Chocolate!


Good morning Everyone!

Cocoa pods ripening on the Cacoa tree

Cocoa pods ripening on the Cacao tree

I have the most wonderful, glorious news to share this morning – chocolate is, in fact, a vegetable!

Applause

From Print Shop Professional 2.0

How did I make this discovery?  A combination of  illogic, basic horticultural facts and culinary methods.  The basic ingredient in chocolate is the cocoa bean!  Any food based on a vegetable such as a bean must fall into the vegetable department.  (Technically, the cocoa bean originates in a fruit, since it grows in a pod along with many siblings, but then, tomato is a fruit, and it is considered a vegetable when we eat it.  I don’t think we should discriminate against the cocoa bean by elevating the tomato over it, do you?)

Linnaeus

Linnaeus, who invented the means of classifying various organisms. This picture was painted just after he discovered that chocolate was a vegetable.

It takes approximately 300 to 600 cocoa beans to make 2.2 pounds of chocolate, so logic would dictate that each mouthful of the wonderful stuff is chock full of the same delicious vitamins that one receives from other beans and assorted vegetables as well.

Cocoa Beans in the Cacoa pod

Cocoa Beans in the Cacao pod

Exit guilt; enter chocolate….

My next question – since it contains chocolate, eggs, flour and often milk, does this make chocolate cake a super food?  Just wondering!

Chocolate Cake

Chocolate Cake

Have a great weekend!

Nancy

Reunion!


Good morning Everyone!

Question Mark

I really can’t help it;  last night while we were getting ready for bed and now, at an ungodly hour of the morning when even the birds are only just stretching themselves awake, I know they’re here.  I’m sure they don’t mean to intrude upon my consciousness,innocently sitting over there at the dining room table, but I keep thinking about them.  The whole family welcomed them; even the dogs know that they’re here.  After all, it’s been a while.

I’ve known them and loved them ever since I was a child, but now that I am older, I don’t get to visit with them nearly as often as I’d like, making our reunion  even more special.

There’s really nothing like them.  Content in their insular world, they have remained essentially unchanged and constant my entire life.  Sweet, consistent, a little square around the edges, sugar-coated but still cool, sanity in an insane world, I just can’t help thinking about them.  We were able to visit a little bit last night, but the rest of our visit will have to wait until later.

After all, I think I’d get sick if I ate 32 strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts at one sitting…

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

The Twelve Days Pre-Christmas


THE TWELVE DAYS PRE-CHRISTMAS

(To the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” with apologies to Mark, who hates that song!)

I.

On the first day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me:  “We need to go shopping promptly.” 
 

II.

On the second day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “Need to put the tree up.”
–  But we need to go shopping promptly.
 

III.

On the third day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “Let’s have a party!”
 (But we need to put the tree up
And we need to go shopping promptly.)
 

IV.

 On the fourth day pre-Christmas, my child said to me, “I need some presents! You’ll have a party.  Why isn’t the tree up?” and “You need to go shopping promptly!”
 

V.

On the fifth day pre-Christmas, my wondering eyes did see – A SALE AT MACY’S! 
My child  still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree still is not up
And I need to go shopping promptly!
 

VI.

On the sixth day pre-Christmas, my bad self said to me, “Eat a chocolate Santa!”
– There’s A SALE AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree is still not up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
 

VII.

On the seventh day pre-Christmas, my conscience said to me, “No more chocolate Santas!”
(I don’t care, I found one!) 
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree is halfway up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
 

VIII.

On the eighth day pre-Christmas, the school note said to me “20 cupcakes in two days now! ” 
No more chocolate Santas!
(How about a Reese’s?),
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
Child’s gifts now hidden,
The party’s soon,
The tree just got knocked down
And I need to go shopping promptly.
 

IX.

On the ninth day pre-Christmas my true love said to me, “Aren’t you a little stressed dear?”
20 cupcakes by tomorrow,
NO MORE CHOCOLATE SANTAS!
(I don’t care, I’ll have one),
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S! 
Child’s not found her gifts,
Party’s almost here,
The tree is standing up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
 

X.

On the tenth day pre-Christmas, my oven said to me, “Why haven’t you bought the turkey?”
I’m a little stressed now,
20 cupcakes by this evening,
(Shut up about the Santas! – I’m going to have two more now)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S! 
Child’s gifts still in hiding,
The party’s now,
The tree is not yet lit
And I need to go shopping promptly.
 

XI.

On the eleventh day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “What about the dressing?”
Where did I put the turkey? 
I’m getting truly stressed now,
20 cupcakes from the grocers,
NO MORE CHOCOLATE SANTAS!  (I can’t hear you Conscience)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’s! 
Child’s gifts locked up tight now,
The party’s done,
The tree just blew a fuse
And I need to go shopping promptly!
 

XII.

On the day that Christmas got here, I woke up and did see –
A banquet for my family,
Turkey and Dressing,
Even giblet gravy,
Stress has gone away now,
Stockings filled with care
(But no chocolate Santas)
NO SALE AT MACY’S!
Child loves her gifts,
No more parties now,
Tree is A-OK,
And I’m going to nap until New Years!

The Many Dilemmas of Candy Season


Good morning Everyone!

Halloween marks the official start of  “Candy Season.”  Candy Season runs from October 31 (Halloween) until Easter Sunday every year, and I have a love/hate relationship with it.

Granted, I like candy (at least chocolate candy) as much as the next person, but for the five or six months between Halloween and Easter  we are inundated with it.  It seems to be a required part of almost every celebration during the next five or six months – except for Thanksgiving, but even then, pie or cake of some kind is required.

Certain ethical questions impose themselves upon the arrival of Candy Season – is it really evil to go through your child’s Halloween candy and pick out all of the Three Musketeers and Hershey bars and eat them before she can?  Surely it can’t be that bad!  Besides, what else would I do with the extra hour between her bedtime and mine?  Does Kayla really need the entire chocolate Santa that appeared in her stocking or chocolate bunny that appeared in her Easter basket?  Aren’t I really doing her a favor, saving her all those extra calories and at least one sugar rush if I go ahead and eat at least part of it?

There is an internal struggle to Candy Season as well.  This conversation occurs more often than I would care to admit.

Sweet Tooth Self:  Did you know there is candy in the house?

Healthy Self:  You don’t need candy.  Have an apple.

Sweet Tooth Self:  Did you know there is candy in the house?

Healthy Self:  Well, it’s not chocolate; you know you don’t like any of those other kinds of candy.  Have an apple.

Sweet Tooth Self:  There is to chocolate.  I buried it in the bottom of the candy jar so Kayla and Mark wouldn’t find it.

Healthy Self:  That was last month, and you have pretty well demolished all of that chocolate you put back.  Besides, they’re getting suspicious – it’s hard for them to miss the fact that they haven’t been able to find any chocolate since before Halloween.  Have an apple.

Sweet Tooth Self:  I’ll show you!  (Proceeds to candy dish).  See, I told you there was a mini-Snickers bar left in there!

Healthy Self:  Show off!  Have an apple.

Sweet Tooth Self:  But that’s a mini-Snickers bar!

Healthy Self:  Well, we are supposed to have nuts as part of a healthy diet….

Sweet Tooth Self:  I told you!

Healthy Self:  Eat it quickly.  Then we’ll give Kayla the apple.  We want to keep her  healthy, after all!

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

Sunday Night Dinner – The Dog Invasion!


Good morning everyone!

Kayla and Mark were kind enough to make dinner for me Sunday night.    In our family, we have two types of spaghetti – plain spaghetti, which translates as “spaghetti with the Ragu Traditional Sauce heated up straight from the bottle,” and spaghetti with the good sauce, which translates as “spaghetti with a sauce comprised of sauteed ground beef, mushrooms and onions with [you guessed it] Ragu Traditional Sauce poured over all ingredients and heated up in a pan.”  However, while they were waiting for the water to boil, I came in to help by dividing up some ham  and turkey we had purchased the day before for freezing, at which time two things happened – Mandy and Darwin invaded the kitchen (not for the first time that evening) and Kayla found a spare camera lying around to use for pictures.  So, courtesy of Kayla, we managed to get photographic evidence.

Me, not having my best foot forward!

In any photographic session done by almost anyone’s child, the first photo is the obligatory “candid” shot of at least one of their parents. Apparently, a child’s definition of “candid” can be loosely translated as “less than flattering”. This photo session is no exception, as I was in my pajamas facing away from the camera when Kayla started snapping.

Mandy's signature opening move

Mandy always begins a kitchen invasion in the same manner – she selects the spot nearest to the person working on food and slides in between that person and the bottom of the kitchen cabinets.  She is quite adept at it, really.  There are some days she gets in place without my even noticing until I almost trip over her.

Darwin Enters

Darwin, on the other hand, simply walks into the kitchen and wanders around.  Unfortunately, the kitchen does not leave much room for a dog almost the size of a small pony.  For those of you wondering, Tyra has no need to enter the kitchen; she is content to leave clean up crew to the other two dogs, secure in the knowledge that if anything is going to be handed out on a systematic basis, she will get first cut as well as an equal share.  FN.

Why my kitchen seems crowded

Once both dogs are in the kitchen, free space is at a premium.  Darwin, at least, will move to accomodate humans who need to travel to the refrigerator, stove or sink, but Mandy loves to park herself in one spot.  Her favorite spot is in the center of the kitchen, sprawled out to take up the maximum amount of available floor.  She simply refuses to budge, even as she sees your feet approaching.  Apparently, she believes it is my responsibility to watch out for her, not her responsibility to utilize the good sense I am sure she has somewhere to avoid being tripped over.

Come on Mom, just drop one piece of ham!

Here, Mandy feels that the ham is tantalizingly too close, and the humans too near for her to begin scavenging method number 2, which is just grazing the counters on her own, so she tried the cute approach.

All this scavenging makes me sleepy!

Still, scavenging/begging is hard work, and even the most dedicated dog has to stop and rest sometime!

And now, gentle reader, so must I.

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

FN.  Does anyone else who keeps dogs in the house feel exceedingly weird when you go over to someone else’s house and you drop food – and you have to reach down and pick the food up yourself?