Good morning Everyone!
I have long known that someday I will open a closet door, and in a manner akin to Fibber McGee’s closet, every pen I have ever lost will come cascading out of it onto my head, at which time I will have the fortunate opportunity to practice self-restraint by NOT swearing, but rather observing , “Behold, my head hath just been struck by one thousand three hundred seventy-eight pens in less than five seconds.”
Fibber McGee’s Closet
What I have recently discovered is that the contents of the closet will not only include pens but all of the items that I have stored “somewhere safe” over the years, only to discover when I needed an item that “somewhere safe” was so safe that it even protected the item from me.
The frustrating thing about “somewhere safe” is that once I start looking for a particular item that resides there, I see the item in my mind’s eye, and have the nagging feeling that if I just thought a little bit harder I could find its secure hiding place.
The latest in a long list of items that I can’t seem to put my hands on is the card reader which will read Mark’s Nikon camera card. When I was searching for the download cable, which I never found, I ran across it, and I could have sworn (another feature of “somewhere safe”) that I placed it with the other download cables that didn’t work. It’s not there now, though.
Alien with his sinister experiment remote control
I do wonder where the pens and other stuff are being hidden until that grand glorious day when they all shower themselves upon me from Fibber McGee’s closet’s first cousin – Shangri-La, where a couple of bored monks are making life merry by watching me hunt for items they have “borrowed” through a hidden camera? Maybe they are being stored in a secret vault buried deep in a missile silo in Nebraska or Montana as part of a secret government conspiracy. Maybe they are being abducted by aliens as part of a sinister experiment with purpose unknown. (Exactly how many ways can you use a plethora of pens and papers, sprinkled through with loose screws, a card reader, several books, twelve magazines and at least three chew toys?) Maybe they are being stolen and stored by a doomsayer anxious to survive the days after the apocalypse with enough pens to see him or her through. All I know for sure is that they can’t possibly be disappearing because I simply lose them.
Until the answers are revealed, if they ever are, open your closets with care. I’d hate it if you got injured opening my “safe” storage cabinet by mistake.
Have a great day!
Good morning Everyone!
Here are some odds and ends from the weekend.
- A Trip to the Corner Drugstore
Yesterday I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I had to wait just a few minutes, so I walked over to a revolving rack that sold little paperback books. I started laughing out loud when I read the title of one of them – How to Live Successfully with Screwed Up People. I thought about buying the book just to see how the author carried through with such a unique title, but the thought of someone close to me wondering why I would need such a book decided me against it.
However, once my prescription was ready, I told the lady behind the counter about the book. To my surprise, she smiled and nodded and answered “Yes, my mother bought it.” She added, “She has marked sections in it and put the names beside it of each of her children she thinks the section applies to.” That’s a real confidence builder, isn’t it?
Some time ago, I told you about the mysterious disappearance of pens from my junk drawer. (See, Of Waves and Pens). Recently, I found where some of them were hiding – I have a little pouch I carry in my purse for writing utensils, and about 10 of them had fled there, I can only assume for protection from the evil pencil conspiracy.
I learned something about copyright in the United States this weekend while reading the 2011 Writer’s Market by Writer’s Digest. Did you know that everything you write is immediately protected by copyright as soon as it is written? You do not have to have a registered copyright in order to be able to use the copyright symbol! (There are advantages to having a registered copyright, but we won’t go into that.) I thought that was way cool, and have immediately availed myself of this new piece of knowledge to proudly display my own copyright symbol at the bottom of my blog, just because I can!
Have a great day everyone!
Good morning everyone!
One of the fascinating aspects of living in a small town is learning the language, both spoken and non-spoken. For example,when a person honks their horn at your car, the odds are pretty good that they are just trying to say hello. I learned this lesson over 20 years ago, when Mark and I traveled to a small town in South Carolina.
In the middle of town, on the main 45 miles per hour thoroughfare, we got behind an elderly couple going 25 miles an hour. Not being from a small town at that time, Mark honked his horn, hoping to encourage them to drive a little faster. When he did so, the driver, the man, looked in his rear view mirror to see who we were and turned to his wife and asked her, “Do you know them?” The wife looked in the rear view mirror at us and turned to her husband and said, “No.” They both took one more look to be sure, and then, on cue, not wanting to be rude, both of them waved at us on the off-chance we might indeed be someone they knew. We waved back, and resigned ourselves to going 25 miles per hour until they decided to turn left.
I have a junk drawer in the kitchen. Well, actually, I have four junk drawers in the kitchen and need to pare down, but one of them is supposed to be the designated spot for pens and pencils, so I always know where I can get a writing utensil. I have decided that this drawer is magic – the pens disappear from the drawer, and never turn back up. Ever. I buy 10 pack after 10 pack of pens, with a few good pens thrown in from time to time, but there never is a pen in there when I need one. The pencils, however, hang around indefinitely. I am beginning to suspect that the pencils are the main culprits. How else can you explain a drawer with the same 20 pencils I put in there originally, and not a single one of the 50 to 60 odd pens remaining? Someday, I am going to find the place to which the pens are magically transported, and suffer a serious injury when I open it and the flood of pens pours out on me, proving yet again that a pen is indeed mightier than a sword!
Have a great day everyone!