THE TWELVE DAYS PRE-CHRISTMAS
(To the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” with apologies to Mark, who hates that song!)
I.
On the first day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me: “We need to go shopping promptly.”
II.
On the second day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “Need to put the tree up.”
– But we need to go shopping promptly.
III.
On the third day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “Let’s have a party!”
(But we need to put the tree up
And we need to go shopping promptly.)
IV.
On the fourth day pre-Christmas, my child said to me, “I need some presents! You’ll have a party. Why isn’t the tree up?” and “You need to go shopping promptly!”
V.
On the fifth day pre-Christmas, my wondering eyes did see – A SALE AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree still is not up
And I need to go shopping promptly!
VI.
On the sixth day pre-Christmas, my bad self said to me, “Eat a chocolate Santa!”
– There’s A SALE AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree is still not up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
VII.
On the seventh day pre-Christmas, my conscience said to me, “No more chocolate Santas!”
(I don’t care, I found one!)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree is halfway up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
VIII.
On the eighth day pre-Christmas, the school note said to me “20 cupcakes in two days now! ”
No more chocolate Santas!
(How about a Reese’s?),
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
Child’s gifts now hidden,
The party’s soon,
The tree just got knocked down
And I need to go shopping promptly.
IX.
On the ninth day pre-Christmas my true love said to me, “Aren’t you a little stressed dear?”
20 cupcakes by tomorrow,
NO MORE CHOCOLATE SANTAS!
(I don’t care, I’ll have one),
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
Child’s not found her gifts,
Party’s almost here,
The tree is standing up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
X.
On the tenth day pre-Christmas, my oven said to me, “Why haven’t you bought the turkey?”
I’m a little stressed now,
20 cupcakes by this evening,
(Shut up about the Santas! – I’m going to have two more now)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
Child’s gifts still in hiding,
The party’s now,
The tree is not yet lit
And I need to go shopping promptly.
XI.
On the eleventh day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “What about the dressing?”
Where did I put the turkey?
I’m getting truly stressed now,
20 cupcakes from the grocers,
NO MORE CHOCOLATE SANTAS! (I can’t hear you Conscience)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’s!
Child’s gifts locked up tight now,
The party’s done,
The tree just blew a fuse
And I need to go shopping promptly!
XII.
On the day that Christmas got here, I woke up and did see –
A banquet for my family,
Turkey and Dressing,
Even giblet gravy,
Stress has gone away now,
Stockings filled with care
(But no chocolate Santas)
NO SALE AT MACY’S!
Child loves her gifts,
No more parties now,
Tree is A-OK,
And I’m going to nap until New Years!
Tales from the Mom-Side 
Cute!
you are awesome.. how did you manage all that!.. PUT DOWN that chocolate santa, oh, too late! c
You should NEVER waste a chocolate Santa! Actually, I wait as long as I can to buy them exactly because of how much I like them, but Christmas, to me, is not Christmas without at least one chocolate Santa of some kind in your stocking!
Absolutely brilliant post Nancy! I love the recurring line “And I need to go shopping promptly”. I think it’s the use of the word “promptly” that works so well.
Thanks! It was fun to write, too. The worst part is, I DO need to go shopping ASAP, but don’t see a time yet when I can!
This is great, Nancy. Absolutely love it!
I’m so glad, Drusilla! I hope it made you laugh!
Adorable! If I had written the song, I’d have put something in about one scroogy mommy (me). Glad you took the higher road! Hope you enjoy all of it!!
Oooh! “One scroogy mommy” would have been a great line! I just didn’t think of it. Why don’t you write your own version and put that in there? I can’t wait to read it!
Nancy
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Thanks Bassa!
Very Interesting song! It made me smile( actually laugh) a lot! I love it! 🙂
I’m very glad. I love knowing something I wrote made someone laugh!
Nancy
I found you because Bassa featured this post. What a fun song. I laughed all through it.
I’m glad you did! I was trying to be funny; sometimes I do a better job of it than others.
Christmas is too much work!
It can be, but only when we let it. Unfortunately, I am very good at letting it. I tend to vastly underestimate what I can accomplish in a given period of time. Thank you for stopping by!
See, that’s the benefit of living in a third world country. You’ve already shopped… you did it during your last visit to the U.S. (even if that was in February). No shopping stress, you wouldn’t dream of buying a present in Sao Paulo!
Great lyrics!
Just curious – why wouldn’t you dream of buying a present in Sao Paulo? My family tends to load up on gifts from a foreign country when we have the chance as gifts to let everyone “back home” have a taste of the culture, but then, we are mostly on trips and not as expatriates.
Nancy