Good morning Everyone!
I have a friend who works for an employment agency, and I mentioned to Mark that in the last two months, my friend has come across more jobs requiring experience in labor relations than ever before. Kayla was listening and suddenly became very still. Then she said, “That’s weird! Why would someone have to prove they can deliver a baby before they can get hired?”
Top of the morning to you Irish men and Irish women out there (of which I am one!) and have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, Out of the mouths of babes...., working mom
Tagged daughter, employment, humor, Irish, labor relations
Good morning Everyone!
Have you ever wondered where dreams come from? I‘m not talking about the “Be President/Travel the US in a RV for One Year” type of dreams, but the crazy jumble of facts and fiction that parade through our heads every night.
Photo Credit: http://www.clickartoline.com
My husband and daughter rarely remember their dreams – although there have been one or two Saturday mornings when Kayla asked for just a few more minutes of sleep to “finish off her dream.” What dreams my husband remembers, he controls. He has the capability to tell his subconscious, while he’s still asleep, how he wants the dream to end. My subconscious, however, wanders footloose and fancy-free, taking me wherever it wants to. Maybe in part it’s rebelling against the control I place on it during the day.
Photo Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
I have one or two recurring dreams. I groan every time that I have to dial a number two or three times in “real life” before it goes through, because that means that the “I need to make a phone call but I can’t ever get the phone to put in the number correctly” dream is sure to pop up in the next week.
Photo Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
After over 20 years, I finally figured out that the “I forgot to attend a class for an entire semester and now the exam is tomorrow” dream occurs when I am under an intense deadline. Usually the dream includes the certainty that I have made an F in at least two subjects that semester and I am trying, in my sleep, to figure out what that does to my grade point average, can I somehow get around the F’s or will they matter and why on earth I didn’t drop the class before the drop/add deadline passed.
Photo Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
Most of the time, my weird dreams are simply curious to me, even the recurring ones, but I still can remember the dream I had 28 years ago when someone broke into the house and was about to kill me. A man was pointing a rifle right in front of my face while I was lying in bed. I woke up with a start as I heard the gun click as he pulled the trigger. I have one truly beautiful dream I dreamed back when I was about 15 that I also remember, for a couple of reasons. The first is that it was in color, one of the rare dreams I remember being in color. The second is that it was set in a radiant meadow where an absolute stunning mare and her foal were grazing. I don’t remember what happened in that dream, but the scene has stayed with me for more years than I care to count.
Photo Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
My horses and meadow were even prettier than these!
Scientists have been studying dreams for a while and are still speculating as to their biological function. What they do know is that the crazy night-time peccadilloes that our subconscious engages in are essential to our health.
Photo Credit: http://www.clickartonline.com
Indian Dream Catcher
Do you have any crazy or recurring dreams? Can you remember your dreams? Have you every kept a dream log? I’d love to hear what you have to say on the subject!
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in Just stuff..., The quest for health, working mom
Tagged daughter, dreams, recurring dreams, remembered dreams, sleep, subconscious
Good morning Everyone!
Photo Credit: Purchased from http://www.clipartonline.com
Some of you probably remember using phones where the receiver was attached to the main phone with a wire that kept you close to the phone when you were using it. In order to figure out the range of the cord, you needed to look at the length described on the package and then mentally decrease it by 1/3 to compensate for the way even the best phone cords tangled.
Photo Credit: Purchased from http://www.clickartonline.com
To those of us who were slaves to the cord, the cordless phone was revolutionary! You could talk to your friends and family on a cordless phone and still move around the house! It was astonishing. The cordless phone allowed us to talk on the phone and still cook, dust, fold clothes, iron and let the dogs in and out of the house. It rocked!
Photo Credit: Me!
At our house, we always like to have the latest, greatest electronics (well, some of us do – for myself, I’m drawing the line at Blu-ray DVDs) so, of course, we have cordless phones. Our favorite type for the last two decades or so has been the AT&T Dect 6.0. It does everything you would expect a household cordless phone to do in the modern era – it has three handsets expandable to 12 (not that we’ll ever have or need a house that big!), takes messages, has an intercom feature and lets us have caller id and call waiting when we are willing to get off our wallets with the phone company and pay for them. They also have one other, non-advertised, talent – they are extremely gifted at camouflage. In fact, if the Russians ever invade the great state of Alabama, my three cordless handsets will be the last thing they will be able to find!
We have three people in the house, so you would think keeping track of a cordless phone would be easy – one phone, one person – but it’s not. Take for example, this seemingly innocent couch top.
Photo Credit: Me!
Yet, upon closer inspection (usually accompanied by a fair bit of mental censorship as we hunt for the phone while its ringing), you find the following:
Photo Credit: Me!
I believe that certain of the handsets have their favorite hiding spots. I thought this one was particularly clever the other day.
For the casual observer:
Photo Credit: Me!
For the accomplished phone set hunter:
Photo Credit: Me!
Sometimes I think the poor things just get cold, and need to warm up. When that happens, their favorite room is my daughter’s room. For example, take a look at my daughter’s sheets from the other morning:
Photo Credit: Me!
A careful search (by me, not her) revealed the following:
Photo Credit: Me!
Sometimes all three handsets have decided to hide in her room!
I also think the handsets are capable of developing their chameleon-like abilities. Handset 2 had been missing for about five days, and we thought we had searched everywhere, including in this box right beside the phone.
Photo Credit: Me!
Today, however, I happened to drop something on the floor, and reaching down to pick it up, noticed the following:
Photo Credit: Me!
I can’t wait to see what they come up with next! [I think!]
Have a great day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Just stuff..., Technology, working mom
Tagged cordless telephone, daughter, humor, search, telephone
Good morning!
We had to go to a funeral this week. Kayla has been to funerals before, but with the exception of the funerals for my grandparents, she had not been to a graveside service. I truly love my little girl’s sweet spirit – she informed me that she HAD to go to the funeral to show her support to the family members involved.
At 12, she amazes me by how alert and observant she is. After the funeral, as we were driving out of the cemetery, she looked over and saw a plot with three headstones. In the center was the name “Ferguson”; on the right, a stone with the name “Head” and on the left, a stone named “Gardner.” When she saw those, she was quiet, thinking for a minute, and then she said, “Those Ferguson people are showing off!” When we asked her why, she told us, “Not only did they bury themselves there, but they buried the head of their mansion and their gardener with them!”
Sometimes you just can’t help laughing!
Nancy
P.S. Ferguson was not, of course, the real name on the center stone; I changed it to avoid unwittingly distressing someone else.
Posted in Out of the mouths of babes...., working mom
Adage – a proverb or short statement expressing a general truth
1) Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. – Not really; it just makes me sleepy.
From ClickArt Online, by Broderbund
2) Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. – If we didn’t, how on earth could we ever buy a dozen eggs at the grocery store?
3) Handsome is as handsome does. – Nope. By any standard of conduct, Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney and Sean Connery are handsome.
4) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. – Not if you’re a birder seeking to win the big year, or participating in the World Series of Birding in New Jersey!
5) Out of sight, out of mind. – Obviously, whoever made this one up never had a pressing problem to worry about.
From Print Shop Professional 2.0
6) There is no such thing as a stupid question. – Well, yes, yes there is.
7) A penny saved is a penny earned – unless you owe back taxes, then it is a penny paid to the government.
8) Practice makes perfect. – No, imperfect practice perfects imperfection
Sticks and Stones: From Clip-Art Online
9) Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. – Really? Wounds from sticks and stones heal relatively quickly but word wounds will sting for generations!
10) An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Not according to the USDA food pyramid or plate or whatever it is they are using these days.
Breaking News!
And in other news –
(Dedicated to the Jefferson Davis High School “get-by” class of 1986, working its way through to a new generation!)
The following conversation repeated verbatim from yesterday.
Mom, in response to an e-mail from a teacher: Kayla, what is this about you not having your study sheet in social studies today?
Kayla: Mom, she told us to take it home last night.
Mom: So?
Kayla: She didn’t tell us to take it back.
Mom: Kayla, it’s implied!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, Just stuff..., working mom, Wow! I never thought of it that way before.
Tagged adages, daughter, eggs, homework, humor, rules, sleep
Hi Everyone!
We were driving somewhere the other day, and Kayla was in an exceptionally bouyant mood.
We started the drive by giving her a surprise oral basic math facts quiz, which normally leads to tears and temper but which she cheerfully answered on this day. I threw out lots of addition and multiplication questions, all of which Kayla got correct, then I abruptly changed stream and asked: 9-5.
Kayla’s response? “Crap.” (She immediatelty followed that up with the right answer, 4.)
After a while, we also drove by a herd of cows, placidly grazing in a field. Kayla’s observation?
“If I were a cow, I’d be the meanest cow ever. You wouldn’t make bacon out of me!”
The funniest one, though, was last weekend when we were returning from a wedding in North Carolina and were looking for a fast food place to get breakfast. For years, I would get biscuits from McDonald’s but in the last few months, I have switched to a preference for cinnamon rolls from Burger King. When Mark pointed out the McDonald’s, and I suggested we keep looking, Kayla, demonstrating her ever increasing grasp of our family’s gift of gentle satire, said sorrowfully from the back seat, “Mom, I’m sorry about your relationship with McDonald’s.” It made all of us laugh.
Have a good weekend!
Nancy
Hi Everyone!
I had hoped that by the time Kayla hit age 11, we would be evolving out of the stage where I continue to discover rules that I never thought I would need as a parent. Apparently, that is not true.
Here is the new rule:
Do not use the barbecue lighter to burn an egg shell and paper together in your bedroom, even if you were impressed with the welding demonstration at the junior college the previous day.
Sigh.
Fortunately, it was not necessary to call the fire department, and nothing in the house was harmed.
Here is the original list.
1) Do not squirt the ink out of a ballpoint pen in the bathroom and mix it with water in order to make ink “like Harry Potter uses.” (Age 10).
2) Do not lose control of the ballpoint pen and ink during the squirting process, spraying black ink all over the bathroom. (Age 10).
3) If you do spray black ink all over the bathroom, do not fail to call in reinforcements immediately. (Age 10).
4) Do not bring lady bugs, worms, crickets, roly-poly’s, moths, butterflies, lizards or any other type of insect or reptile into the house as pets. (Ages 5-10 and counting.)
5) Mom is the spider killing expert, but roaches need to be handled by Dad.
6) When your mother who is recovering from surgery tells you she has to take a nap, gives you the run of the house and the back yard with the sole restriction being do not go out the front door until she is awake, do not lock the dogs in the back yard, and play with your friends for two hours with the front door open, you on the inside side of the door and your friends on the outside side of the door. (Age 10).
7) Do not jam your elbow into a plastic hurricane glass until it gets stuck in an effort to keep the infinitesimal scratch on your elbow from getting wet in the bath and stinging. (Age 9).
8 ) Do not feed paper to the dogs as a treat. At least two of the three are dumb enough to believe you. (Age 10).
9) Soap is required for a bath to really be a bath. (Age 5).
10) Do not wash your hair with conditioner only. (Age 8 through 9).
11) It’s not a good idea to fill the bathroom sink with Dixie cups and then fill it with water. (Age 6 but she had help from a visiting 4-year-old.)
12) Do not dump the entire bottle of shampoo in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
13) Do not dump the entire bottle of liquid soap from the sink in the tub to use as bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
14) Do not dump the entire bottle of conditioner in the tub for reasons I have yet to understand. (Ages 6 through 8).
15) Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you. (Age 6).
16) The controls on the dashboard in the car, including the radio, are MINE! Please leave them alone. (Ages 4 to 10 and counting).
17) Do not try to pierce your ears with the end of a paper clip, even if it looks like an earring hole is there. (Age 6 and 7).
18) Do not cook eggs on the stove without a parent’s presence and permission. (About age 7: this one is harder to justify because the one time that she did cook the eggs by herself, she did a good job and remembered to turn the stove off, which is more than I do sometimes!)
19) Do not cut the screen out of its frame in the window. (Age 5).
20) Do not put anything in your ear, including rocks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4.)
21) Do not put anything in your nose, including wooden sticks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4)
22) Which led to: Do not put anything in any body part for any reason unless a parent says it is okay, with the exception of food or drink in your mouth.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, working mom
Tagged daughter, humor, junior college, lighter, parenting, welding
Good morning, everyone!
I drive a black 2010 Hyundai Sonata that I really enjoy.
From http://www.clickartonline.com. Copyright protected. All rights reserved.
One feature in this car that impresses me is the push button start. Now, I know that push button start is not really a modern invention – many cars in the fifties and early sixties had them – but the computer chip in the “key” that tells the car that it is okay to open or start when the button is pushed is new. As long as that computer chip is about one foot from your car, all the push button features will work. The reason I enjoy push button start is – just imagine this ladies – I never, ever have to dig through my purse to find my keys. That is really cool, no matter who you are!
From http://www.clickartonline.com. Copyright protected. All rights reserved.
However, about three weeks ago, I came home for lunch one day, and when I got ready to leave the house, the car wouldn’t crank with the push button start, even though the lights in the car and everything else except the engine were working. I tried everything I knew to do, from using the emergency start key to charging the battery with our portable battery charger, but nothing worked. Defeated, I called the office, where one of my co-workers was gracious enough to come collect me and take me back to the office.
The Effect the Innate Sexism of all Mechanical Objects Has
From http://www.clickartonline.com
Copyright Protected; All Rights Reserved.
The plan was for Mark to check the Sonata once he got home, but before he did, while he went inside to change clothes, I tried the battery charger again. It still didn’t work. When Mark came back to the garage, he took the portable battery charger, connected it the exact same way that I had, and of course the car started right away. (For the women: Don’t you find the innate sexism of mechanical objects frustrating?)
The car ran well for a few days, but then it refused to start again while Kayla and I were running an errand. This time I took the portable battery charger, hooked it up, and the car started right away. I think the car knew that Mark was within calling distance.
When we took the car in for service the next weekend, the kind people at Parker Tire tested the battery for us while we were getting new tires from them. It was only at 200 crank amps when it should have been at 500 crank amps. I’m not terribly familiar with what a crank amp is, but since I can do basic math when I put my mind to it, I know that missing 300 of anything tends to have a negative effect on an object. I was relieved that Parker Tire replaced the battery for us, and I happily drove away, knowing that my battery troubles were finished.
Until…..
From http://www.clickartonline.com. Copyright protected. All rights reserved.
Last weekend, Mark was helping with inventory at his plant, so Kayla and I bought some Christmas decorations for the outside of our house. I asked Kayla to shut the trunk once we got everything out, but about three hours later, when we were finished, I walked into the garage to discover that the trunk remained open. Wanting to be sure that the battery was still good, I got in the car, pushed the button, and nothing happened. I was upset, of course, enough so that I made a special trip into the house to inform Kayla that I was not happy that she had forgotten to close the trunk.
I came back out into the garage, wearily hooked up the battery charger to the car yet again (really, I’m getting to be quite good at it), and tried to start it by pushing the button. Nothing happened. By now, I wasn’t just annoyed, I was exceedingly annoyed – even though the trunk had been open, a new battery shouldn’t go out like that. I made sure everything on the battery charger was working, and tried one more time before I went to call Hyundai. The car still didn’t start.
Oh.
From http://www.clickartonline.com. Copyright protected. All rights reserved.
I got ready to go back inside to call Hyundai, and automatically reached for my purse. At that moment, I realized that the car was not turning on because it lacked the key. My purse, with key tucked in it, was safe in the kitchen.
Sigh.
I apologized to my daughter, got my purse, and of course the car started like a charm. Problem solved!
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in On the Home Front, Technology, working mom
Tagged car repair, daughter, family, humor, Hyundai Sonata, push button start, technology
Good morning Everyone!
I thought I’d share a couple of “Kayla-isms” with you this morning, along with some views of my re-done abstract painting.
1) Beautiful Music
Symphony: From Print Shop Professional 3.0
Some of you may recall that our family is gifted in the art of gentle satire. One day last week, Kayla was bemoaning some terrible fact of her existence, such as her parent’s inexplicable insistence that her room does need to be picked up every now and then, and I responded with that gentle satire we are known for. I don’t think she appreciated it, because she looked at me as she was getting out of the car and said, “Thanks for the symphony, Mom!”
2) Upside Down
Upside Down: From Print Shop Professional 3.0
Kayla recently acquired an iPod Touch with her own money, and apparently watched a YouTube video on how to make your hair longer, because she entered the living room, sat down in our armchair, then flipped herself over where her feet were sticking up in the air and her head (and consequently her hair) were sticking upside down. More than a little curious, Mark and I inquired as to her new sitting position, only to be told that the YouTube video had said that one way to grow your hair long was to blow-dry it upside down. When I started to laugh, she wanted to know what was so funny!
Blow Drying Hair: From Print Shop Professional 3.0
3) The Abstract Finished
A couple of week’s ago, in the art retrospective post that I published, I showed you this picture of my first abstract painting, and told you that I had decided to go back and do some more work on it:
After a few more weeks of work, here is the final version of the painting, which is called Fibonacci Zero: The Beginning (from Genesis: “In the beginning…the earth was without form and void and the Spirit of God moved over the waters…”):
Close-up: Fibonacci Zero: The Beginning
Here is a different view:
View 2
And finally, a third view looking at the painting from the right towards the left:
View 2
I like it a lot better now; the colors are richer and darker.
Have a great day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Art, Child's Play, working mom
Tagged abstract art, art, daughter, Fibonacci, hair, humor, sympathy, Symphony
Good morning Everyone!
80% of the time Kayla makes perfect sense, but then there’s the other 20% of the time…
On Thursday, Kayla tells me that her (huge, bright green, state of the art) Nike backpack that we bought this year is too small. I suggest that she go through and trim down what seems to permanently reside in said book bag. For some reason, that solution is not acceptable.
On Friday, when we are already running about 15 minutes late from the time we normally leave, and after I have been waiting in the car for her for five minutes, she comes out of the garage door carrying her purple and white backpack from last year, announcing that she has switched over to it because it is bigger.
On Monday, she exits the house after me with a small red and white backpack that is smaller than anything she has ever carried to school. The reason? Her other backpacks were too big!
Kayla has emphatically refused to take gymnastics for the past two years, and has decided this year to give up dance, so of course, Sunday afternoon, when I hear strange thumps and bangs in her room and go to check, she has set up a kind of gymnastics routine/obstacle course in her room with pillows that she wants me to watch!
Yesterday, we had a soccer game at 5:30, which means that the kids are supposed to be at the field by 5:00. That time-table is fairly difficult for us to meet but we managed to have just a minute or two where I could stop at a nearby convenience store and buy her a Gatorade and myself a soft drink. When I got back in the car, she wanted me to open her Gatorade and I told her no, she needed to finish getting on her shin guards, socks and cleats before I would do so. (Experience has taught me that I need to get what I want first, or I never will get it.)
She fussed mildly, but then announced as we were pulling into the parks and recreation area that she “ought to give me a break because she would be a mother some day.”
I glanced sideways at her, and then said, “There’s more to it than that. Has anyone told you about the curse yet?”
She was curious. “What curse?”
I answered, “They call it the parent’s curse. When you have a child, she will be exactly like you.”
Kayla was silent for a minute, then asked, “Exactly like me?”
I answered, “Yes.”
She thought about it a minute more, and then said, “I need to change some things!”
The Daily Homework Dialogue:
Me: Kayla, do you have any homework.
Kayla: No.
Me: Really?
At this point I get one of three answers.
Kayla Answer 1 (Angry): Really, Mom, why don’t you believe me?
Kayla Answer 2: Well, yes, but I’ve already done it.
Kayla Answer 3: Well, yes, but I’m almost done.
Have a good day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, Out of the mouths of babes...., working mom
Tagged backpack, daughter, family, homework, humor, kids, parenting
Genuine Blogger Award, 6/13/2011
Tales from the Mom-Side 