Category Archives: working mom

Sometimes You Can’t Help Laughing….


Good morning!

We had to go to a funeral this week. Kayla has been to funerals before, but with the exception of the funerals for my grandparents, she had not been to a graveside service. I truly love my little girl’s sweet spirit – she informed me that she HAD to go to the funeral to show her support to the family members involved.

At 12, she amazes me by how alert and observant she is. After the funeral, as we were driving out of the cemetery, she looked over and saw a plot with three headstones. In the center was the name “Ferguson”; on the right, a stone with the name “Head” and on the left, a stone named “Gardner.” When she saw those, she was quiet, thinking for a minute, and then she said, “Those Ferguson people are showing off!” When we asked her why, she told us, “Not only did they bury themselves there, but they buried the head of their mansion and their gardener with them!”

Sometimes you just can’t help laughing!

Nancy
P.S. Ferguson was not, of course, the real name on the center stone; I changed it to avoid unwittingly distressing someone else.

Adages that Aren’t plus Other News


Adage –  a proverb or short statement expressing a general truth

1)       Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.  – Not really; it just makes me sleepy.

together

From ClickArt Online, by Broderbund

2) Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. –  If we didn’t, how on earth could we ever buy a dozen eggs at the grocery store?

ConneryKilt

3) Handsome is as handsome does. – Nope.  By any standard of conduct, Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney and Sean Connery are handsome.

geese and gosling AJKoops

4) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  – Not if you’re a birder seeking to win the big year, or participating in the World Series of Birding in New Jersey!

wkw011.jpg

5)  Out of sight, out of mind.  – Obviously, whoever made this one up never had a pressing problem to worry about.

Confusion

From Print Shop Professional 2.0

6)  There is no such thing as a stupid question. – Well, yes, yes there is.

United States coinage penny

7) A penny saved is a penny earned – unless you owe back taxes, then it is a penny paid to the government.

Prisoner Costume

8) Practice makes perfect. – No, imperfect practice perfects imperfection

Sticks and Stones:  From Clip-Art Online

Sticks and Stones: From Clip-Art Online

9)  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  – Really?  Wounds from sticks and stones heal relatively quickly but word wounds will sting for generations!

USDA Food Pyramid

10)  An apple a day keeps the doctor away.  Not according to the USDA food pyramid or plate or whatever it is they are using these days.

Newspaper, news, magnifying glass

Breaking News!

And in other news –

(Dedicated to the Jefferson Davis High School “get-by” class of 1986, working its way through to a new generation!)

The following conversation repeated verbatim from yesterday.

Mom, in response to an e-mail from a teacher:  Kayla, what is this about you not having your study sheet in social studies today?

Kayla:  Mom, she told us to take it home last night.

Mom:  So?

Kayla:  She didn’t tell us to take it back.

Mom:  Kayla, it’s implied!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Nancy

An Unexpected Detour on the Information Superhighway


Good morning Everyone!

The day after Memorial Day, I spent about an hour working on a “Beginning of Summer” post.  I saved several drafts of it while in the WordPress.com New Post area, but while I was trying to upload some of the pictures, I got a message that my computer was blocking out certain images.  Since the message gave me the option to do so, I chose to look at everything without blocking.  The computer obliged me and reloaded WordPress, but somehow in the process, all the work I had carefully saved was lost.  FN.

Uh Oh!

Uh Oh!

This poses quite a mystery to me, since I can’t imagine what happened to all that information which was supposed to be safely stored on the WordPress servers.

head scratching, wondering, thinking

From http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. All rights reserved.

We have digital internet, which means that information from my computer passes to the WordPress server in separate packages of information, called bits.  In a perfect world, I would be the only person working with the WordPress servers, and my little packages of information would be the only ones out there traveling the information superhighway.  In that case, the travel would look something like this:

digital internet bits

One Traveler on the Information Superhighway

Since, as you already know, this world is not perfect, I am willing to bet that there is NEVER a time when only one person is using the WordPress servers, and that more often than not, the path to the WordPress servers looks like New York City traffic at rush hour, something like this.

digital bits internet routing

Many Travelers on the Information Superhighway

The beauty of the digital internet and digital bits and routing hardware and software that I don’t begin to claim to understand is that, in a heavy traffic situation, the little bits of information coming from my computer (the red stars) somehow know to search for the least traveled route to WordPress, meaning that my information still gets to WordPress very quickly, even if the path to WordPress taken by my bits is longer than the original route.

digital bits routing alternative

My Bits Taking the Road Less Traveled By (With apologies to Robert Frost

So far so good, right? Everyone still with me? Anyone need an air horn blasted by their ear to wake back up? Here’s the problem, however  – when I saved my work on WordPress, my bits started traveling from my computer to the WordPress servers, but in the interim, when I told my computer to show me everything, the bits disappeared. WHERE DID THEY GO? Where do all the bits that somehow drop out of sight end up? After careful thought, all I can offer you is a few suggestions.

lost bits routing digital internet

Possible Detours on the Information Superhighway

Take Saskatchewan, for instance.  Saskatchewan is a Canadian province directly north of the states of Montana and North Dakota, with a population of just over 1,000,000 people as of 2011.  A bit from the Great State of Alabama would enjoy kicking back in the summer there for vacation, where temperatures range with highs between 75 and 82 in July, while back here at Alabama we will be somewhere between 95 and 100 with 100% humidity.

moose, royal canadian mounted police

Welcome to Saskatchewan!
from http://www.clickartonline.com; Copyright protected.

Timbuktu, on the other hand, represents mystery and adventure and a bit aiming for a little excitement on vacation could do quite well kicking around there for a while.

Safari, traveler, explorer

A Bit Exploring Timbuktu; from http://www.clickartonline.com; copyright protected.

As any airline traveler in Alabama knows, Alabama bits must go through Atlanta to fly to anywhere else in the United States or the world, AND the Atlanta airport takes some skill to navigate correctly.  I am positive that there are thousands of bits wandering desolately through the Atlanta airport looking for the right flight to take them on to their ultimate destination.

Aerial, Atlanta Airport

Atlanta Airport; Photograph released into the public domain by Nikon

A bit that is either 1) just plain lost or 2) looking for a very quiet place to relax  could end up somewhere like Franklin, Georgia, population approximately 950 people, on the banks of a river with a river walk and a boat launch.

Bits that wind up in Seattle are looking for higher education at the hands of Microsoft, Cray or Amazon, among many other available tech companies in the area.  Since a higher education takes years to achieve, these bits will stay off the highway long enough for it to have changed completely and for them to have forgotten their original mission.

Seattle

Downtown Seattle; photograph by Daniel Schen, from Wikimedia Commons

The bits that end up in Shangri-Law, the corporate law division of the paradise known as “Shangri-La”  live in a fantastic venue, but have to work hard, too.  It’s not easy policing the information channels of the world to ensure that Shangri-La remains a myth and that any information that might allow world travelers to discover its real location is removed or distorted.  These bits also will not be allowed to leave without a complete memory wipe, lest they deliberately or inadvertently lead others there.

Shangri-La, Sky Captain

Shangri-La, the location of the celebrated corporate law firm of Shangri-Law

I envy the bits in Never-Never Land – they get to play in the many computer games Peter Pan and the Lost Boys have acquired over the years (just because they don’t grow up doesn’t mean they haven’t kept up with the latest toy trends.  Rumor has it that even Tinker Bell has been seen playing with her cell phone and a fashion designing app.)

The bits that end up in the South Pole are dedicated to scientific research, since that is the only reason bits or people currently travel to the South Pole.  It makes me feel a little bit better to know that at least some of my earlier post was lost to ensure the advancement of humankind’s knowledge about the world we live in.

Penguin, South Pole

Travel Poster for Bits Enticing Them to the South Pole
from http://www.clickartonline.com, copyright protected.

If you have any stray bits wandering around out there, I’d love for you to let me know where you think they might be hiding!

Have a great day!

Nancy

FN.  There is nothing, I mean NOTHING, more irritating to a writer than to completely lose a piece he or she has put time, energy and imagination into writing.  It’s almost impossible to recapture the flavor of the original piece from memory.

Of Math and Cows


Hi Everyone!

We were driving somewhere the other day, and Kayla was in an exceptionally bouyant mood.

Distorted Numbers

We started the drive by giving her a surprise oral basic math facts quiz, which normally leads to tears and temper but which she cheerfully answered on this day.  I threw out lots of addition and multiplication questions, all of which Kayla got correct, then I abruptly changed stream and asked:  9-5.
Kayla’s response?  “Crap.”  (She immediatelty followed that up with the right answer, 4.)

cow

After a while, we also drove by a herd of cows, placidly grazing in a field.  Kayla’s observation?

“If I were a cow, I’d be the meanest cow ever.  You wouldn’t make bacon out of me!”

Fast Food Take Out

The funniest one, though, was last weekend when we were returning from a wedding in North Carolina and were looking for a fast food place to get breakfast.  For years, I would get biscuits from McDonald’s  but in the last few months, I have switched to a preference for cinnamon rolls from Burger King.  When Mark pointed out the McDonald’s, and I suggested we keep looking, Kayla, demonstrating her ever increasing grasp of our family’s gift of gentle satire, said sorrowfully from the back seat,  “Mom, I’m sorry about your relationship with McDonald’s.”  It made all of us laugh.

Have a good weekend!

Nancy

Southern Spring Show


Good morning Everyone!

While this spring has sported unusually cool weather for Alabama, the azaleas had a brief chance to put on their usual fireworks show.  Here are just a few of them:

2013-04-17_07-58-25_284 2013-04-17_07-58-32_49 2013-04-17_07-58-36_512 2013-04-17_07-58-41_412 2013-04-17_07-58-43_790 2013-04-17_07-59-01_961 2013-04-17_07-59-05_590 DSCN1264 DSCN1244 DSCN1243 DSCN1242 DSCN1240

Have a great day!

Nancy

A Tadpole Tale


Good morning Everyone!

Kayla’s elementary school has a unique feature:  a rock garden pool.

Rock Garden 3

When we have a heavy rain the day before, the boundary of the pool slips ever so slightly out of its bounds onto the rocks as well, and then over the next day slowly recedes back into its normal boundaries.

Rock Garden 2

A couple of weeks ago, the water was receding over the rocks when Kayla and her friends discovered a swarm of tadpoles that were caught in a puddle on the rock and which would soon die.  Kayla collected empty water bottles from her friends, punched holes in the lids, filled the bottles with the pond water and proceeded to catch several tadpoles for each of her friends, including herself.  She told me her friends were calling her “The Tadpole Whisperer.”  She also presented me with the algae-and-tadpole ridden water bottle that was hers and informed me that she was going to take her six tadpoles and raise them into frogs.

Now, let’s back track just a minute.  As many of you may recall, we have three “inside” dogs:

Dog

Tyra

Mandy, awakens from a nap

Mandy

Dog, Labrador Retriever

Darwin

Ever since Dog #3 was admitted into our home, Kayla has been repeatedly told that we will have no other pets, not even a goldfish, entering the house.  (This wise rule has prevented sustained arguments over rabbits, gerbils, hamsters, ferrets, goldfish, aquariums, mice, baby squirrels, etc.)

When she presented the algae- and tadpole-ridden water bottle to me, I reminded her of this rule.  She informed me, absolutely seriously, that the no-pet rule didn’t count here because she would merely be fostering them until they turned into frogs.  Thinking that such a fine argument deserved at least a little credit, I told her she could bring the bottle home, but that she needed permission from both Mark and I to keep the tadpoles until they were frogs, and that I didn’t really think it was likely she’d be able to keep them.  (I also started doing a mental inventory in my mind of the multitude of aquarium-related equipment we’d need for this to be a success and decided that it was not going to be cost-effective, either.)

Rock Garden 1

Sure enough, once the tadpole bottle made it home and an inventory of the effort and effect of raising the six tadpoles was completed, Kayla was told that her tadpole project was a no-go and the tadpoles would have to be disposed of.

tadpole, bull frog

Bull frog Tadpole, Photograph from the U.S. Geological Survey and therefore part of the public domain

Kayla took it well and that was the end of it.

Or at least it should have been.  Now we come to the part that annoys me – I just couldn’t dump the tadpoles either down the toilet or onto the pavement. I just couldn’t.  Even though logic told me that 1) the tadpoles should have died on the rocks at the school anyhow , 2) even if they didn’t, the odds of any one of them living to be a frog were infinitely small and 3) if  they had been spiders or insects I would have stomped on them (or had Mark do so) without hesitation, I just couldn’t dump them out without at least a chance at life.  Nor could I just return them to the rock pool, since I gauged their chances of success there almost as slim as if I poured them out on the driveway.

Mark didn’t really understand it either, but since he loves me and Kayla he graciously gave us a couple of more days to allow me to have time, finally, on my lunch hour to carry the tadpoles to an offshoot of Lake Martin near our house where I could release them.

It is a testimony to Kayla’s skills as a tadpole catcher and feeder that all six of the little things were still alive when I released them in a quiet, warm, still section of the lake.

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

You Know You’re from Alabama if:


Hi Everyone!

Alabama, maps

Map of Alabama, from the Texas Public Library Collection of maps

An email encounter with someone from out West started me thinking about what it really means to be from Alabama, and so I compiled this list.

You know you’re from Alabama if:

handshake, introduction, greeting

From http://www.clickartonline.com, all rights reserved

1) Your first reaction upon meeting someone from any city with a population of over 1,000,000 people is to ask them if they know your sister’s neighbor’s daughter, Betty Sue, who moved to that city five years ago.

Lynyrd Skynyrd. sweet home Alabama

Lynyrd Skynyrd in Concert in 2010. Photo from Wikimedia Commons, by Andrew King.

2) The opening riffs to “Sweet Home Alabama” raise your heart beat and give you the uncontrollable urge to sing along with Lynyrd Skynyrd. 

3) You think Jimmy Buffett’s rendition of “Stars Fell On Alabama” should be the state song.

falling star

from http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. All rights reserved.

4) You are surprised to find out that neither “Sweet Home Alabama” nor “Stars Fell On Alabama'” are the state song.

5) Your definition of a “mixed marriage” means that one spouse is an Auburn fan and the other is an Alabama fan.

head scratching, wondering, thinking

From http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. All rights reserved.

6) You wonder why in a state with a large NASA facility in the north of the State, state of the art automotive manufacturers sprinkled across the center of the state, a state of the art steel plant and Airbus plant in the south of the state and several major universities,  the national news media can only find the least educated and articulate of us to interview on television.

Fan, summer, air conditioning

From http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. All rights reserved.

7) Air conditioning is a necessity, not a luxury.

8) You do not think running the heat at night and the air conditioner during the day in the spring and fall is odd.

9) You get your  coat and car keys, not a tool box,  when your husband tells you he is fixing to go somewhere.

10) You know perfectly well that there are three second person pronouns:

“You” – second person singular, as in “why don’t you come with me?”

“Y’all” –  second person plural, as in “Why don’t y’all come over to dinner?”

“All y’all”  – second person plural heightened, to be used when you are inviting large groups of people to do something instead of groups of five or less.

Picture by Torsten Bolten, on Wikimedia Commons.

Picture by Torsten Bolten, on Wikimedia Commons.

11) You think that basketball and baseball are just something they do to kill time until football season rolls back again.

12) You have ever considered the date of the Iron Bowl as something to be avoided when scheduling important family functions such as weddings, births and funerals.

13) You don’t have to ask what the term “Iron Bowl” refers to.

flag, usa map

From http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. All rights reserved.

14) You are astounded that the man who invented air conditioning does not have a national holiday named after him.

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

Another Rule I Never Thought I’d Need!


Hi Everyone!

I had hoped that by the time Kayla hit age 11, we would be evolving out of the stage where I continue to discover rules that I never thought I would need as a parent.  Apparently, that is not true.

Here is the new rule:

Do not use the barbecue lighter to burn an egg shell and paper together in your bedroom, even if you were impressed with the welding demonstration at the junior college the previous day.

Sigh.

Fortunately, it was not necessary to call the fire department, and nothing in the house was harmed.

Here is the original list.

1) Do not squirt the ink out of a ballpoint pen in the bathroom and mix it with water in order to make ink “like Harry Potter uses.”  (Age 10).

2) Do not lose control of the ballpoint pen and ink during the squirting process, spraying black ink all over the bathroom.  (Age 10).

3) If you do spray black ink all over the bathroom, do not fail to call in reinforcements immediately.  (Age 10).

4) Do not bring lady bugs, worms, crickets, roly-poly’s, moths, butterflies, lizards or any other type of insect or reptile  into the house as pets.  (Ages 5-10 and counting.)

5) Mom is the spider killing expert, but roaches need to be handled by Dad.

6)  When your mother who is recovering from surgery tells you she has to take a nap, gives you the run of the house and the back yard with the sole restriction being do not go out the front door until she is awake, do not lock the dogs in the back yard, and play with your friends for two hours with the front door open, you on the inside side of the door and your friends on the outside side of the door.  (Age 10).

7) Do not jam your elbow into a plastic hurricane glass until it gets stuck in an effort to keep the infinitesimal scratch on your elbow from getting wet in the bath and stinging.  (Age 9).

8 )  Do not feed paper to the dogs as a treat.  At least two of the three are dumb enough to believe you.  (Age 10).

9)  Soap is required for a bath to really be a bath.  (Age 5).

10)  Do not wash your hair with conditioner only.  (Age 8 through 9).

11) It’s not a good idea to fill the bathroom sink with Dixie cups and then fill it with water.  (Age  6 but she had help from a visiting 4-year-old.)

12)   Do not dump the entire bottle of shampoo in the tub to use as bubble bath.  (Ages 6 through 8).

13) Do not dump the entire bottle of liquid soap from the sink in the tub to use as bubble bath.   (Ages 6 through 8).

14) Do not dump the entire bottle of conditioner in the tub for reasons I have yet to understand.   (Ages 6 through 8).

15)  Do not drag a dog into the bathtub with you.   (Age 6).

16) The controls on the dashboard in the car,  including the radio, are MINE!  Please leave them alone.  (Ages 4 to 10 and counting).

17)  Do not try to pierce your ears with the end of a paper clip, even if it looks like an earring hole is there.  (Age 6 and 7).

18)  Do not cook eggs on the stove without a parent’s presence and permission.   (About age 7:  this one is harder to justify because the one time that she did cook the eggs by herself, she did a good job and remembered to turn the stove off, which is more than I do sometimes!)

19) Do not cut the screen out of its frame in the window.  (Age 5).

20)  Do not put anything in your ear, including rocks, without consulting an adult first.  (Age 4.)

21) Do not put anything in your nose, including wooden sticks, without consulting an adult first.   (Age 4)

22) Which led to:  Do not put anything in any body part for any reason unless a parent says it is okay, with the exception of food or drink in your mouth.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Nancy

The Only New Year’s Resolution You Will Ever Need!


Good morning Everyone!

New Year's Baby

From http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. Copyright protected.

Believe it or not, we are already half way through the first month of 2013!  Studies show that by now, many who made New Year’s resolutions have already let them slide, and by the end of the month, most of the rest of us will follow suit.  A few years ago, however, I discovered the secret to keeping a New Year’s resolution, and I thought today I’d share it with you.

long list

A list of New Year’s resolutions – from http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. Copyright protected.

Before I learned this secret, I also participated in the New Year’s resolution mania, coming up with a long list of resolutions worthy of the finest list keepers in the realm, with all of the usual suspects on it – lose weight, eat right, exercise, get organized, keep the house better, and complete every uncompleted craft project I ever laid hands on along with a few inherited ones – only to wake up somewhere around mid-January to find that I had not kept one resolution out of the fifty or so that I had made.  Then, one year, lightning struck and I discovered the way off of the New Year’s treadmill.

From www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund.  Copyright protected.

From http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. Copyright protected.

Here it is – the one and only New Year’s resolution you will ever need.  (Do you hear the fan fare in the distance?  Is the suspense gathering?)  Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to introduce you to THE RESOLUTION:

RESOLVE NOT TO MAKE ANY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!

Applause, audience

Applause!

This lofty but eminently keepable resolution is not without its pitfalls, however.

Avoid pitfalls! From www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund.  Copyright protected.

Avoid pitfalls!
From http://www.clickartonline.com by Broderbund. Copyright protected.

The worst pitfall is the peer pressure that slowly builds upon the resolver to make another New Year’s resolution, any other New Year’s resolution, as the previous year draws to a close.  The pressure is at its peak the week between Christmas and New Year’s, as the media inundates you with stories about the types of resolutions to make and how to keep them and the way the life of Susie B. Smith in Smalltown, USA was changed forever to the good because SHE kept HER New Year’s resolution to open a museum dedicated to the noble history of chocolate chip cookies.  (The free samples Susie B. Smith gave when you entered her museum certainly aided her success!).  You start to think that maybe you could try just one little extra resolution.  In spite of this pressure, stand firm.  Cut the thought “Well maybe I should resolve to…” off at the knees.  Think firmly “NO!  Stop the insanity now!  Not another year!”  After a while it becomes second nature.

The second pitfall is to believe that by keeping the resolution not to make any more New Year’s resolutions you are resolving never to change.  This thought adds to the pressure on you to make additional resolutions at New Year’s, since everyone wants to change for the better sometime.  Simple common sense (which is usually neither simple nor common) shows the fallacy of this fear.

Instead of never changing, keeping this one resolution frees you to change whatever you want, whenever you want at any time of the year except January 1!  By restricting yourself on one day out of 365 (366 in leap years), you gain 364(365) more days to make whatever changes you want.  Such freedom is dizzying and empowering – if you believe you need to change something in your life, by agreeing not to package it up with the New Year’s insanity, you have freed yourself to make one small change at the time of your choosing, leading up to one huge success by June 16 or October 21 or November 2 or whatever other day you might choose.

Mind-blowing, isn’t it?  So who’s with me?

together

From ClickArt Online, by Broderbund

Have a great day!

Nancy

What’s good for the gosling…..


Morning Everyone!

geese and gosling AJKoops

What’s good for the gosling is good for the goose!

Just a quick anecdote today, since I have a very busy schedule – rest, watch TV, eat lunch, nap, rest from napping, eat supper, etc…..

We got Kayla a small computer for Christmas this year – visualize one step above a netbook and one step below a true laptop – and she loves it.

I had been letting her use my netbook until it crashed a few months ago.  She found the netbook frustrating because it loaded web pages a lot slower than a regular laptop does.  Her Christmas computer is a vast improvement over the netbook, but still is not as fast as a full size computer.  Kayla has a tendency to just keep hitting buttons when the web site isn’t doing what she wants it to do.  While not unusual, this practice is a sure way to give your Internet Browser, or even your computer, a nervous breakdown.  When she gets frustrated, I repeatedly remind her to hit the key once and wait to let the computer catch up with you rather than barraging it with keyboard strokes resembling a Texas-sized hail storm.

computer fried cllickart

From http://www.clickart.com, by Broderbund
Copyright Protected.

This morning, I was checking my work e-mail, and tried to reply to a message.  The window popped up, but my key strokes weren’t registering.  I, of course, persisted in hitting keys repeatedly and at random trying to get the text to enter – until Internet Explorer crashed.

I’m glad that Kayla didn’t see it.  I don’t expect I will share the story with her either!

new year's eve clickart

Have a great day everyone, and very happy New Year’s Eve!

Nancy