Now, please excuse me as I go investigate exactly why Mandy is walking around wearing a pink-purple T-shirt…. It looks good on her, but she doesn’t normally wear clothes, so I’m suspecting she had help from a 10 year old.
Nancy
Good morning Everyone!
I took a mini-vacation from this blog (three days – Friday, Monday and Tuesday) but it seems like forever since I last was here. I’m glad to be back with all of you!
Not that kind of vacation - I would still be there!
Yesterday morning, December 27th, brought great joy to our household. Was it due to Christmas? No, we had that celebration Sunday. Was it because it was my birthday? No, but it was my birthday and we did celebrate it. Was it because Kayla decided to spontaneously clean her room and throw out all of her junk and put all of the good stuff back neatly just for the fun of it? Wrong again – I think that would fall under the classification of miracle.
No, the event that brought such joy was the arrival of the post-Christmas trash pickup. Christmas was, as you know, on Sunday, and Mark spent Monday cleaning out the garage, so by the time trash pickup day got here, our dumpster had floweth over and there were four good size boxes full of trash beside it. However, just like Santa or the tooth fairy (although with just a bit more noise – the dogs sometimes hear the truck and bark), sometime early in the morning the trashmen came and emptied our dumpster and relieved us of our trash.
This may seem a rather mundane thing to celebrate, but we no longer take trash collection over the holiday season for granted – the first and second years we were in this house, we went without trash collection for two weeks between Christmas and New Years! Kayla was five and six at the time, and we had even more Christmas left-overs than we have now, so we were in dire straits. I was considering wandering the streets of our town asking complete strangers at Wal-Mart “Brother, can you spare a trashcan?” By the time the garbage truck toodled its way down our street that third week, we literally chased it down, and talked to the driver and assistant as fast as we could to keep them there while we deposited trash bags into the truck at rapid speed. They had originally intended just to empty our dumpster and move on!
That was, however, a different waste disposal company and a different time (our neighborhood was relatively new and we were one of only two houses in it, so I think the replacement/holiday driver just didn’t know we were here), but ever since then we are quite grateful when our trash gets picked up Christmas week!
Mandy
Monday afternoon late, Kayla was outside playing on the porch and the dogs were in the back yard for a while. Suddenly Kayla opened the door to announce that Mandy, sometimes known as “Bad Dog”, had spent some time rolling in…well, the polite term would be, I think, biological waste products, probably her own. I was writing at the time, so I told Kayla to wipe it off of Mandy with some paper towels. I saw Kayla walk out with some paper towels, and then she came back in to say it wasn’t working very well. I absent-mindedly mumbled that perhaps she should use more water (I had a 14,000 word article on depression I was trying to finish for a client) and didn’t really notice the grim-faced ten year old hauling the long but short white dog across the den into the bathroom. I did hear the water start running, but since I had also suggested at some point that it would be a good idea for Kayla to take a bath, I thought that was what was happening.
Boy was I wrong! About fifteen minutes later, the door opened and a clean, wet but not drenched Mandy came tearing out of the bathroom. When Mark and I asked what happened, Kayla told us that she had given Mandy a shower! She was very proud of herself for doing so, too. (In her defense, the house rule is “Do not drag the dog into the bathtub with you because you want a friend to take a bath with.” Since she was forcing a dog into the bathtub to clean her, I guess she didn’t technically break the rule.) She said that she had to pop Mandy once on the rear to get her to finish going into the tub, but once she did, Mandy sat down in the bathtub and took her shower with good grace. Kayla used Dove to clean her off, which I’m pretty sure is not a dog registered product but hopefully just one time won’t do Mandy’s coat any harm. Kayla even cleaned the tub and shower out afterwards without being told. Mandy has viewed Kayla with a new respect since then!
Pardon me; I just had to take a break for a minute to retrieve a ball of black yarn from Darwin, which he was tossing around trying to unstring, which brings me to another post-holiday joy – saving Darwin from the batteries.
Darwin
Darwin, also known by the alias “No-No”, loves things that roll that he can chase around the house at will. Unbeknownst to any of us, he decided to pluck a package of AAA batteries off of the coffee table. Since the package was open already, 8 triple AAA batteries went rolling off in many directions, and Darwin was in puppy Nirvana. I did look up once to see him pawing at something under the couch, but, silly me, I thought it was one of his balls or other toys that roll that he was playing with. It wasn’t until I heard unusual chewing sounds that I went around the corner to discover Darwin happily munching on a AAA battery. While I have discovered that there are many things that dogs can eat, such as a complete tube of Neosporin, and not suffer any harm, I am pretty sure that AAA batteries are not one of them. Kayla and I had a fun adventure tracking down all 8 of the batteries to be sure that he hadn’t punctured or ingested any of them. We found two with teeth marks on them at various places in the house, but fortunately he hadn’t broken the casing, and then found the other six under different objects – one under the love seat, two under the ottoman, one under the coach and two that had rolled underneath dog beds. We heaved a sigh of relief after we found the last one. Darwin thought the group participation aspect of the battery play was the best part!
Well, I think I have written more than enough to make up for the three days I missed, so I better stop before I have written the equivalent of a full length novel! I hope each of you had a very Merry Christmas and post-Christmas adventures at least as exciting as mine!
Have a great day!
Nancy
Posted in dogs, On the Home Front, working mom
Tagged batteries, dogs, humor, trash, working mom
A Poem for Christmas, With Apologies to both Samuel Clemens Moore and Christina Rosetti
Twas the night before Christmas, When all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse, Not the three dogs who romp through the house with such glee, Not the daughter whose growth is a beauty to see, Nor the father who works so hard for them all, With his snores gently drifting throughout the halls, Only the mother who, quiet at last, Sat on the couch with her holiday wrapped Up with presents and laughter and love – yet something was missing, she thought to herself. A light through the window – a car driving by – Brought a striking reminder of a star in the sky, And of shepherds and angels and wise man and Love, And the Baby whose Birthday gets lost amid stuff. A Light lit inside her and peace filled her heart, And her Christmas was perfect – “My Lord, here’s my heart.”Have a great day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Reflection, Religion, working mom
Tagged dogs, family, religion, The Night Before Christmas, working mom
De’ Nile ain’t just a river in Egypt. – Mark Twain
Good morning Everyone!
Today is my day to make confessions regarding cupboard doors and closet shelves. I never really noticed that I have a habit of leaving cupboard doors open after I pull something out of them, until I overheard a visiting family member mutter to themselves a few months ago something about “doesn’t anyone in this house shut cupboard doors?” I didn’t think much about it – I certainly didn’t leave cupboard doors open, after all – and then Mark, after a close encounter with one of the open cupboard doors said something else about it. I made the natural assumption, as any parent would, that Kayla must have opened the cupboard doors and forgot to close them, so kindly reminded her to close the cupboard doors after she opened them. After all, I certainly don’t open cupboard doors and forget to close them. Then one day about two weeks ago while I was blogging, and I was the only one home, I looked over to my left from the table where I do most of my writing, and saw this:
And this:
In legal terms, I think that counts as a smoking gun, and ever since that day two weeks ago have tried to do better.
I also try hard to put things back correctly in the cupboards and pantry, but in spite of my best efforts, sometimes I slip up. I know this when I hear Mark open a cupboard door or the pantry while I am in another room, hear the soft thud of something falling out – usually on his head – and then the sounds of something akin to “Behold! Yet another Tupperware container hath fallen on my head!” The practical part of my brain realizes somewhere deep down that balancing a bag of flour on a can of soup, and then topping both of them off with a bag of bread or a box of Mac ‘n Cheese is probably not the ideal arrangement for stability, but the other part of me looks at the pantry and can’t figure out any other way to make everything fit.
And the Tupperware shelf! Given the various size and shapes of plastic ware available, I am convinced that the people who design plastic ware expect the people using it to have mechanical engineering degrees to get it all to fit correctly. I can match round to round and square to square pretty well, but then you run into oval, oblong, rectangular and super size and any chance of a decent storage system is gone! I try (again) to keep things balanced safely, but every once in a while it seems impossible that it all will fit in correctly, so then I try to mush the unmushable bowl, and the gentle thud will happen soon after. Sigh.
I’m working on it though; at the rate I’m currently going, I should have both the cupboard door problem and the Tupperware organization thing fixed by the time I’m 90 – or I may just borrow my friend Emily’s 11-year-old daughter, who likes to organize kitchens on a regular basis. I’m not sure which!
Finally, here are some completely unrelated observations Kayla made this past week.
1) To Mandy: Mandy, stop chasing your tail! You won’t like it when you catch it.
2) To Me:
Kayla: Mom, I’ve finally figured out what “Accio” is. (This is a Harry Potter reference.)
Mom, originally: Oh?
Kayla: It lets you call things to you.
Mom: Yes, like keys and cell phones.
Kayla: I can see where that would be really useful, particular for you.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Nancy
Posted in On the Home Front, working mom
Tagged cupboard door, daughter, family, housekeeping, humor, kitchen, working mom
Hi Everyone!
Today is one of my family’s private days of thanks. I think we all have some, days that the rest of the world might not notice, but we treasure in our hearts because of the special things that happened .
Kayla, right after she came to live with us
Six years ago today, Mark, Kayla and I officially became a family. Unofficially, of course, we had been a family for just over a year when Kayla came to live with us in a foster-but-hopefully-soon-adoptive status. I don’t know how it works for most people, but the three of us (and the two dogs we had then) bonded in a way that seemed miraculous – it took less than seven days, and really, it would have only been a day had it not taken Mark and I a few days to learn how to speak three year old.
One of Kayla's first trips to the beach
There are so many people I am grateful to for that day. The first is God, who miraculously moved all sorts of puzzle pieces into place to bring us together. The second and third are Mark and Kayla, of course – Mark and I for having the courage to take a risk we had thought we would never take (fostering without having adoption be a certainty) and Kayla for showing that even 3 years olds can express choices and be determined. I can remember one evening when her case worker came over to see us and to check on her, and she brought out every single toy that she had to show him and made sure that he knew how much she liked being with us. Then, when he started to leave and she realized that nothing was going to change immediately, she stomped her foot and shouted at him, “My want to be [insert our family name here]!
The fourth are the wonderful foster parents who kept Kayla for almost a year before she came to live with us. They still remain our good friends today, and I am always grateful for what they did for Kayla in the 10 months that she was with them. I don’t know if she could have trusted us as unreservedly as she does had she not first learned to trust adults again through them.
Kayla, this Thanksgiving in the Smoky Mountains
Then, of course, there is my family and Mark’s family, who have loved Kayla from the moment they heard about her, even before they saw her picture or met her.
I can go on from there, and there are so many, many other people – her case worker, other people at DHR, wonderful day cares, teachers, my office, which managed to come up with a modified maternity leave schedule with less than two weeks notice, and which threw me (and Kayla) an awesome shower before she even arrived at my doorstep, friends, and just so many others, but if I did, this post would be way too long. Just know, whoever you are, that I am still grateful seven years from when she came to us and six years to the day from when she was adopted and I do send up prayers of thanks for you regularly.
Kayla, during her first Christmas ever with us.
And to my miracle child, and my wonderful husband, I love you!
Have a great day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Reflection, working mom
Tagged adoption, children, daughter, family, miracle, parenting, working mom
Good morning Everyone!
Sprouty and the Planets is not a rock band, but rather the two topics of discussion today, both of which involve school projects Kayla has done.
Really, “the Planets” should just be “Venus” but putting Venus in the title of anything is not a good idea these days in the wild world of span. Even searching for Venus on the internet isn’t that great. The first time Kayla tried on her computer, she just put the word “Venus” in the search bar, and since her computer has very strict parental controls, most of the first results were blocked. What she ended up having to use was something like “Venus planet NASA space” to get any results at all. But I’m getting ahead of myself. We need to start with Sprouty.
Meet Sprouty!
The Planet Venus, from Nasa.gov
We looked at the photo for a day, then went to local Wal-mart, where Kayla found 2 of the only four round styrofoam balls left in the store and I found some very basic acrylic paints and brushes she could use (no, I was not willing to sacrifice my good acrylics and brushes to her pursuit of an education when I had a choice), and we set off home. I made her paint the styrofoam ball white for a primer coat, then I selected several of the acrylic colors, put portions of them on a paper plate and let her do the mixing and painting from there. Here is what she did:
Planet Venus model close up
The Planet Venus on the Study Table
I realize the planets usually do not have toothpicks on which to sit, but at the same time, round objects roll and we needed a way to get the model to sit still!
I thought it was a great model, and Kayla’s teacher must have too – she got 100!
Have a great day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Child's Play, working mom
Tagged daughter, homework, kids, parenting, school project, the planet Venus, working mom
Good morning Everyone!
I had a proud parent moment on Friday. What caused that familiar heart thump with the shining glow that courses all over me whenever my daughter does something to make me proud?
Did she make all A’s that week? (No, that heart thump was Thursday.)
Did she save the world? (Not yet, but I expect she will one day!)
Help out extra with the house? (No, that heart thump was the last two Saturdays in a row.)
No, she used, for the first time that I can remember, the art of gentle satire to make a point .
Now, I need to backtrack. Kayla is in a family where we a) love to laugh, b) admire the exceptionally witty response to any comment, and c) secretly believe that satire and sarcasm are spiritual gifts that Paul forgot to leave off of his list, quite unintentionally, of course. FN. 1.
When Kayla was four, she had been asking the same question over and over again, as children do, and about the fifth repeat Mark stopped and looked at her and said, “I know what you’re thinking, child. Have I asked him five times, or six? To tell you the truth, I’ve forgotten myself. So the question is, are you feeling lucky today, kid? Are you? ARE YOU?” FN.2
Mark and I were in gales, and Kayla thought her parents had lost their mind.
Ever since then, whenever a chance for gentle satire arises (one of the best kinds of humor is gentle satire that doesn’t leave a scar on your soul), Mark and I have started laughing, and Kayla just looks a little puzzled.
But Friday, that changed.
I went to pick her up and asked if she had received any numbers that day at school. She told me she had received one, but it was for not being prepared. (We don’t count those, really, even though we probably should; we are concerned with good behavior.)
I said something to the effect that the one number was okay, especially since it wasn’t a conduct number, and the child turned to me in the front seat, folded her hands like the stereotypical picture of an angelic child, batted her eyes and said in a sickly sweet voice, “Why mother, your daughter would never do anything to earn a conduct number! I’m a perfect angel!”
I was so proud of her! FN 3.
Have a great day everyone!
Nancy
P.S. If you have any comments you or your children have made that fall within the realm of gentle satire, please share them! I would love to hear about it!
FN 1. For people not familiar with the concept of spiritual gifts, read Galatians 5:22 in the New Testament, and then Google spiritual gifts and this reference will make a lot more sense.
FN 2. If you don’t recognize that paraphrase, rent or download the movie “Dirty Harry” starring Clint Eastwood.
FN 3. She really has down amazingly well this year with conduct numbers. I told her that, too, once I finished laughing at her first comment. Purple Ambassadors is one of the best things that ever happened to her!
Posted in Child's Play, working mom
Tagged daughter, family, humor, parenting, satire, spiritual gifts, working mom
Good morning, Everyone!
I was astounded to learn this morning that this blog is the lead story on the BBC – The Bassa Blogging Channel! Bassa, whose blog I have mentioned before, is a Caucasian Shepherd in Tbilisi, Georgia who writes a blog about her and her tall person’s adventures, along with her friends De and the little person. Oh, and she also lives with Mr. Crazy Parrot. (I mention Mr. Crazy Parrot in hushed tones – he has a dark past.)
Bassa started her BBC because she felt that not enough good news was being broadcast on the regular news channels, and she wanted to start changing things. Every day, one post on her blog is about a story that contains good news. Check it out if you get the chance! Here is the link: Bassa’s Blog.
Kayla decided to “help” me out this morning before I left to take her to school by putting both Mandy and Darwin in their kennels for me. (You may recall that Tyra, aka the Saint, gets to stay out!) That was very sweet. The only problem was that in a fit of generosity, she decided to put food and water in each kennel, which we don’t normally do because that kind of defeats one of the purposes in leaving those two in their kennels. (Food and water does not defeat the chewing deterrent purpose of kenneling, however). She then managed to forget her binder that is a requirement for school everyday at the house because she had been working so hard on helping me and the dogs.
I am not looking forward to cleaning the mess up but I keep reminding myself that Kayla was just trying to help. Have any other parents out there had their children try to “help” and have to bite their tongue as a result?
Have a great day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in dogs, working mom
Tagged BBC, daughter, dogs, humor, News, parenting, working mom
Hi Everyone!
A piano book appeared in our house the other day. I say “appeared” because none of the three of us remembers where it came from or when it arrived, but it is full of easy Christmas music arrangements by Dan Coates, and the title of the book is Top 50 Christmas Hits.
While the book has many of what we would think of as “traditional” Christmas carols, and even some of the less “traditional” but familiar Christmas songs such as “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” and “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” there are songs in this “top 50” book that I have never heard. Some of them, I thought, were worth sharing with you.
1) In the “Okay, then,” category: “The Annual Animal Christmas Ball,” Words and Music by George David Weiss
See the donkeys going wild, See the rabbits by the mile, Racin’ rather madly down the trail, Honkin’ geese and quackin’ ducks, Little lambs and great big bucks, Never even stopping to inhale. See the horned rhinoceros, And the duck-billed platypus, Go with greater gusto than a gale; And it’s not polite to laugh When the camel and giraffe Stop to thumb their noses at the snail. *** It’s the annual animal Christmas Ball, It’s the annual animal Christmas Ball, And a very good time will be had by all, At the annual animal Christmas Ball.2) In the “truth in advertising” category: “Nuttin’ for Christmas,” Words and Music by Sid Tepper and Roy C. Bennett
I broke my bat on Johnny’s head, Somebody snitched on me. I hid a frog in sister’s bed, Somebody snitched on me. I spilled some ink on Mommy’s rug, I made Tommy eat a bug, Bought some gum with a penny slug, Somebody snitched on me. Oh, I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas, Mommy and Daddy are mad. I’m getting nuttin’ for Christmas. I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.3) In the “Too Much Math for Me!” category: “Thirty-two Feet and Eight Little Tails,” Words and Music by John Redmond, James Cavanaugh and Frank Weldon
Dash, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Over the moon so bright, Thirty-two feet and eight little tails of white Hurry, hurry hurry through the night.4) In the “Let’s Not Go There” category: “The Twelve Pounds of Christmas” Words and Music by Tom Zigler. (I’ll just put out the last verse for your reading pleasure!)
On the twelfth pound of Christmas, my mirror said to me, “Sooie, pig, sooie!” Grazing is for cattle, Schedule liposuction, I wouldn’t wear that Spandex, That’s not on Weight Watchers, Don’t go back for seconds, Cut back just a little, The dryer shrunk your jeans! You’re retaining fluid, You’re big-boned, I really didn’t notice, And your butt still looks good to me!(As the founding member of the “Chocolate Santas Are Good for You” Association, I object strongly to the opinions expressed in the previous song!)
5) In the “Oops!” and “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” categories: “Santa Claus on De Coconut Tree” Words and Music by John Fales and Horace Linsley.
In de tropics where we have no snow, Rudolph and de reindeer, dey cannot go, But our little island, Santa never forget. He bring us all gifts in his corporate jet. But this Christmas Eve, oops! He run outta gas. Santa gotta bail out mighty fast. Plane and presents splash into de sea. We’ll parachute land him on a coconut tree. Santa Claus on de coconut tree, Wavin’ and smilin’ so merrily. Christmas mornin’, What a sight to see! Santa Claus on de coconut tree!6) And in the multiple categories of “Weirdest Christmas Song Ever,” “Say what?” and “That’s Just Disgusting,” I bring you the marvelous saga of “The Fruitcake That Ate New Jersey,” Words and Music by Lauren Mayer.
Frightening, horrible things they say Can lurk in what seems to be ev’ryday. So better be wary, It’s even more scary when Evil appears to be sweet. Take, for example, this time of year. Should elves and Santa Claus cause us fear? This innocent season is all the more reason to watch out or you might meet The fruitcake that ate New Jersey Never shows any mercy Devouring ev’rything in each town And nothing and no one can slow it down. Ev’ryone it would since meet Ends up as a hunk of mincemeat. A horrible fate, to end up on the plate of the Fruitcake that ate New Jersey!Have a good day everyone!
Nancy
Posted in Just stuff..., working mom
Tagged Christmas, Christmas humor, Christmas Songs, daughter, family, fruitcake, humor
(To the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” with apologies to Mark, who hates that song!)
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Posted in On the Home Front, working mom
Tagged Christmas, Christmas humor, daughter, family, food, humor, parenting, working mom
Genuine Blogger Award, 6/13/2011
Tales from the Mom-Side 