Monthly Archives: June 2012

Mandy’s Turn

Posted on June 29, 2012 | 4 comments

husky basset hound mix

Me!

Hi!

I asked the people puppy what our  Mom is doing when she sits in front of the big black rectangle and moves her fingers while I eat breakfast.  My people puppy told me that Mom was writing, and showed me some of the posts about me in the blog our Mom writes.  I think she was a little confused when she wrote them.  She’s not really a morning person, you know – I have to work really hard to wake her up at the proper time.  Sometimes I have to circle the bed from 4 a.m. until almost 7!  I used to be able to walk on her hair to wake her up, but for some strange reason she cut most of it off, and now it is too short for me to do that.  It’s a shame, because she made some really neat noises when I would do it.

Newfound Gap

My people puppy

Any way, to help her out and make sure you don’t get the wrong idea, I thought I’d give you the real scoop on things.

Australian shepherd mix, dog in back yard, dog in sun

My sister, Tyra

It may surprise you to learn that I am adopted.  In fact, all of my siblings – my people puppy and Darwin and Tyra – are adopted as well.  It doesn’t matter, though, because Mom and Dad love all of us lots.  I do think it is a little unfair that the people puppy gets to go everywhere with them, and I don’t, but I try hard not to mind because I know that Mom and Dad love me best – why, they call me “Bad Dog” (that’s one of my nicknames) more than any of my siblings, which means that I am very special.  (My sister, Tyra, rolls her eyes when I say that like I am wrong, but I know that she’s just a little jealous about it.)

Black lab, crazy Dog

My brother Darwin – he’s a little crazy!

Although I would like to travel with Mom and Dad more, my life here is pretty good.  Darwin, my younger brother, and I play together a lot, although I am still having to teach him about proper food etiquette – I don’t like it when he tries to hang around my food bowl.  My sister Tyra is very sweet, but has a hard time moving around the house now without someone to help her.  Mom and Dad do a really good job helping her.  That’s a good thing, because if they didn’t do it, I’d probably have to!

Mom and Dad are a little odd about some things, though.  I’m always very polite and wait until they’re done, but if they’re finished with their food, why can’t I go ahead and help myself to it?  It’s not like they want it anymore!  The same is true with stuff in the trash can – does it really matter what happens to it once they are through with it?  Any reasonable person would know that such things are fair game once they hit the trash, but not Mom and Dad!  I guess every set of parents have their eccentricities.

Family picture

Mom and Dad, in 2008, during yet another trip I wasn’t allowed to go on!

They also spend part of their nights watching this square frame in the living room that makes sounds and shows pictures.  I watch it sometimes, but it,s not really that interesting – nothing on it is real.  You can see and hear the pictures, but there’s no smells attached to them.  Every thing that’s real has a specific smell.

Oh, and I need to set the record straight about the day I came home.  Mom wrote that I ran away twice, but I really didn’t.  I was just so happy that I had a chance to stretch my legs that I took a couple of joy laps.  The look on her face was really funny, too, each time that I did it!  The best part was when she picked me up in the pet store and the people puppy introduced me and told my story to every one we saw.  It really made my day!

Christmas, 2007

Mom in the morning – this was Christmas, 2007 and she was more awake than she usually is in the morning. Still, she wasn’t exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed, even then!

Uh-oh – I can hear Mom emerging from her lair now to get ready for work, so I better sign off.  Just remember what I said, keep the story straight and forgive Mom for her inaccuracies.  Poor thing, she doesn’t understand how to get up in the morning!

Mandy

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The Great Chicken Caper

Posted on June 26, 2012 | 4 comments

Good morning Everyone!

Welcome to Mystery Investigations – Going to the Dogs, a new reality show that chronicles the investigations performed by our intrepid adventurer who refuses to stop until she has reached the truth.  Today’s episode features “The Mystery of the Missing Chicken.”

I brought home a serving of chicken and rice as takeout one evening, and unfortunately Mark did not like the chicken.  I went ahead and fixed him a can of soup, so while I was doing so, I placed the chicken plate on the kitchen counter and then forgot about it – until I brought the soup bowl back in the kitchen, where I found the following plate awaiting me:

Rice, Chicken dinner, left over food

The Plate With (or Without) the Missing Chicken!

While I am not a trained investigator, it was difficult to miss the fact that the leg and breast quarter that formerly resided on the plate was now missing. Even worse, it was completely missing – there were no left over bones lying on the kitchen floor, no grease anywhere, no chicken skin or spare pieces of chicken.  Not a single speck.

Since Kayla wasn’t home that night, we only had three potential suspects.

1) Our oldest dog, Tyra, an Australian Shepherd mix who is 10 years old.

Dog

Tyra

2) Our middle dog, Mandy a/k/a Bad Dog, who is somewhere around 5, but I never can remember exactly how old she is.

Basset Hound Husky dog

Mandy, Our Husky-Basset Hound Mix

3) Our youngest dog, Darwin a/k/a No-No, who will be 3 on December 15.

Lab, Dog, Darwin

Darwin

Using the time-honored method of means, motive and opportunity, Tyra was quickly eliminated. Not only is she completely blind, but even on her hind paws she would never be tall enough to reach the top of the counter.

That left me with only two suspects remaining, Darwin and Mandy. Both of them had the means – Darwin is tall, and Mandy is long. Both of them had a sufficient motive – cooked chicken apparently is a far cry better than Kibbles and Bits! Finally, both of them had opportunity, since they both were out of sight for at least some period of time while I was sitting with Mark while he ate his soup. So instead I had to turn to the less reliable and normally inadmissible realm of character evidence.

Dog, eating, counter

Character Evidence, Exhibit A: Mandy Leaving the Counter in our Old House

In court, evidence regarding a person’s character in the past is not admissible to prove guilt for the crime the person is currently accused of. There are exceptions to that rule, and I judicially decreed another exception for dogs who steal chicken off of the counter.

Reviewing the character evidence available to me, it was clear that the culprit was not Darwin, but Mandy.

First, Bad Dog did not earn her name unjustly. She likes to chew, will do so unabashedly and will pluck things off of a table or a counter in a heartbeat, as this video shows:

Second, before Mandy was found and put in the Montgomery Humane Society Shelter for Kayla and I to find her, she survived scavenging in the dumpster at McDonald’s, and probably other places as well.  She has still not forgotten how to scavenge, and isn’t afraid to practice her survival skills at a moment’ s notice.

Third, Mandy was the only dog who looked like this when an inquiry was made about the chicken:

Mandy, dog, husky basset hound mix

Mandy post-chicken

Even without the post-chicken bone digestive problems the next day, I think I had an air tight case against her, don’t you?

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

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Posted in dogs, Food, working mom

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How FRED killed the Caboose

Posted on June 22, 2012 | 4 comments

Good morning Everyone!

Whether or not I paid attention anytime else in my life, I did pay attention in Kindergarten and First Grade.  Really, I did.  And in my first classes, we were taught about trains.

CSX Freight Train

CSX Freight Train

Trains are fascinating to me even though I have never ridden a passenger train anywhere. (I don’t think riding the steam train around Disneyland counts.)  There’s something mesmerizing as you watch the giant cars trundle by, each one filled with something different, bound for who-knows-where, and many of the box cars(at least in the U.S.) decorated with spontaneous and colorful pieces of graffiti.

caboose

A Traditional Caboose

In elementary school, I learned that every train had at least one engine, the cars behind it and a caboose.  The caboose was one of my favorite parts of a train – not only does the word itself have a delightful ring to it, it usually had a unique shape and it was like having a period at the end of the sentence as far as a train was concerned.  Traditionally, the caboose was red, but over time many railroads began to paint the caboose to match their corporate colors.  Still, red or no, it remained the caboose, proudly marking the end of the train.

Burlington Northern, caboose

Burlington Northern Caboose

I can remember when most trains had a caboose.  One day in the 1970’s, some poor engineer in Illinois nearly had a heart attack when a car driven by my grandfather and carrying all three of us girls raced it all the way to a crossing.  By the way the train was wildly blowing its horn, I am sure the engineer thought we were trying to beat it over the tracks, but that was not so – Grandpa, at our request, was just trying to get us enough ahead of the train so that we could watch it go by, and see the caboose at the end.

Caboose interior, 1943

Caboose Interior, 1943, from wikipedia

A strange thing happened though, over time – the caboose gradually disappeared.  Sitting here today, I cannot specifically remember the last time I saw a caboose on a train (unless you count the steam train that travels around Disneyland, which I do not.)

Disneyland, steam train

One of the Steam Trains at Disneyland

I was caught at a train crossing yesterday, and watched the train cars flash by until we reached the end of the train – a coal car – and it seemed so unfinished without the caboose car to bring up the end.  I decided to investigate the mystery of the missing caboose, and after copious research (that translates to one google search and reading the entry on Wikipedia), I have discovered the identity of the person who killed the caboose – FRED.

FRED, train

FRED, the villain!

FRED is a device that reads all of the information that used to be gathered in the caboose and transmits it electronically to the front.  FRED also emits a flashing red light to mark the end of the train.  FRED has about as much personality as a blank wall in an unfinished house, yet it managed to kill of the caboose in the name of progress and profits.

I think someone needs to bring charges against FRED, don’t you?  The ghosts of a thousand thousand cabooses (or is that caboosi ?) demand it!

Abandoned caboose

An Abandoned Caboose in the desert

Have a great weekend everyone!

Nancy

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Posted in Just stuff..., working mom

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I think I need some more electronics….

Posted on June 21, 2012 | 2 comments

Good morning Everyone!

Last night, Mark and I were researching an issue that required us to consult two different websites at the same time, so he pulled out his iPad and I pulled out mine and we began.

iPad

An iPad

(Excuse me just a minute while I retrieve a stray handkerchief from No-no.)

Dog, Chewing, Handkerchief

No-no caught in the act!

While you may think two iPad’s in one family is excessive, that only begins the tally of the various computing electronic gizmos we have wandering around the house.   In addition to the two iPad’s (2), we also have my trusty Acer (3),  from which I write and find illustrations for my blogs and we have a Le Novo laptop (4) which we bought for Mark’s work three years ago that now we use for financial stuff, since his new job provided him with a laptop for his use. (5).  His work laptop comes home every night in his briefcase and goes back to work in the briefcase in the morning.

Briefcase, Laptop

Mark’s Briefcase is bigger than this!

My work computer (a Dell Inspiron) is a frequent but not permanent visitor at home, so I won’t include it in the tally.  A defunct Hewlett-Packard laptop (6) roams around the old house at will – it was Mark’s work computer for about five years, until it caught a virus that we couldn’t cure.  We have the HP NetBook (7) that was a Mother’s Day gift for me and which we now have passed down to Kayla.

In addition to the computers, we also have one iPhone (Mark’s)(8) and one smart phone (mine) (9), three Kindles (Kayla’s Kindle (10), my original Kindle (11) and my Kindle Fire (12) which Mark and Kayla gave me for Christmas last year) and one defunct Blackberry with no service that Kayla gets to use for her pretend cell phone.  (13).  I’m not entirely sure that we ever got rid of my first car phone, a bag phone that we got in the early 1990’s and which I used until 2001, but I better not count it since I haven’t visually verified its existence for a year or two.

Cell phones, smart phones

That doesn’t even begin to count the various toys that Kayla has which have some variation of a computer chip in them, since as the Nintendo DS and her portable DVD player.  (The portable DVD player was much cheaper than installing a DVD player in both cars and keeps her very entertained on long trips.)   Nor does it include the biggest computing devices in our possession – our two cars.  You’d be surprised (unless you’ve ever had to have work on one) how many parts of an automobile now require a working computer chip.

And of course, each electronic computing device comes complete with cords, charging cords, instructions and all other kinds of stuff that are just begging for me to lose them.

I guess the bright side to this embarrassment of riches is that we have the makings of our very own Cray computer should the world-as-we-know-it ever come to an end!

I think I need some more electronics…..

Have a good day everyone!

Nancy

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Posted in Just stuff..., Technology, working mom

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Unpacking

Posted on June 20, 2012 | 2 comments

Good morning Everyone!

Going on even a mini-vacation is fun; bringing everything back to normal after the mini-vacation – not so much.

Destin harbor’s dunes

Last week, we went down to Destin for the last half of the week, as we do most Junes around Father’s Day.  I have a professional meeting that is usually held that weekend, and this year was no exception.

Our trip lasted three days plus traveling time.  Packing and getting the dogs to the kennel and all the other things that are involved in traveling took about four hours, along with a five-hour driving time.  Getting everything back to normal after the trip took….Well, let’s just say we’re not there yet.

I don’t know why, but it appears to be a rule of nature (or more properly, a rule of my nature) that if the suitcase is not unpacked the day I arrive home the moment it is brought in from the car, a significant period of time elapses before it gets unpacked.  Three days after we have returned from the trip, it is still sitting in the middle of the floor, daring me to do something about it.  Apparently, my subconscious idea to use it as an auxiliary bureau drawer indefinitely will not work out – it currently is taking up enough room in our bedroom that I am going to have to break down and put some shoes back in my closet when I take them off at night or we won’t be able to walk around the bedroom.  (See, The Longest Walk.)

That won’t do at all, now, will it?

Boots and Shoes

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

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Pickles and The Melting Pot

Posted on June 12, 2012 | 6 comments

Good morning Everyone!

Consider, for a minute, the humble pickle.  How did a transmogrified cucumber come to be one of the standard items in most American refrigerators?

A dill pickle

A Dill Pickle

In our house, the word “pickle” means only one thing – kosher dill pickles, preferably made by Vlasic although we will settle for Mount Olive.  We have at least one family member (Kayla) who loves pickles just a bit too much.  The child actually drinks (when she can get away with it; both parents forbid her from doing it whenever we can catch her at it) the juice from the pickle bottle and would willingly include a pickle as a staple at breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I know this because I caught her eating two large kosher dill pickles for breakfast the other day.

After I waved Kayla off her third helping of pickles that day, I started wondering about their history – how did someone discover how to take a cucumber and transform it into a pickle?  The answer, unfortunately, appears to be lost in the mists of time.  Pickling is an ancient form of food preservation, and as early as 4000 years ago, people in India were soaking cucumbers in a water/salt mixture with spices to make pickles.  The Romans learned about cucumbers and pickling from India, and carried the idea with them as they proceeded to conquer a good bit of the known world.

In most parts of the world, the term “pickle” refers to any food that has been preserved in brine, vinegar or in rare cases, a lye solution.  However, here, in both the United States and Canada, “pickle” most commonly refers to the dill pickle so beloved by my child, which is created by fermenting/soaking cucumbers in a briny mixture that include a lot of dill and some garlic, among other spices.

Julius Caesar, pickles

Julius Caesar, lover of pickles

A number of famous people have either liked or used pickles to their advantage – Julius Caesar is rumored to have liked pickles, while Christopher Columbus fed his sailors pickles to help ward off scurvy.  Pickles are mentioned twice in the Bible at Numbers 11:5 and Isaiah 1:8.

Vlasic kosher dill spears

Vlasic Kosher Dill Spears, Beloved by my Family

Vlasic pickles have been around since before World War II.  The original Vlasic entrepreneur, Frank Vlasic, came to America in 1912 from Poland.  He started a milk and cheese business, which his son, Joe, carried on.  Joe decided to expand the family business from just milk and cheese to include Polish pickles.  Vlasic pickles as a brand though did not truly take off until during World War II, when Joe decided to market his pickles in glass containers.  Now, Vlasic pickles are the top-selling brand of pickles in America.

American Melting Pot

American Mellting Pot

So, in one of those odd twists of fate we often find, a food invented in India,carried by Romans throughout Europe, carried by Europeans to the New World and perfected by a Polish immigrant’s son in the bustling city of Detroit became an All-American food that is a staple at American picnics and barbecues.  A better example of the concept of the American melting pot would be hard to design!

Have a great day!

Nancy

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“Somewhere Safe”

Posted on June 8, 2012 | 12 comments

Good morning Everyone!

Pens

I have long known that someday I will open a closet door, and in a manner akin to Fibber McGee’s closet, every pen I have ever lost will come cascading out of it onto my head, at which time I will have the fortunate opportunity to practice self-restraint by NOT swearing, but rather observing , “Behold, my head hath just been struck by one thousand three hundred seventy-eight pens in less than five seconds.”

Fibber McGee's Closer

Fibber McGee’s Closet

What I have recently discovered is that the contents of the closet will not only include pens but all of the items that I have stored “somewhere safe” over the years, only to discover when I needed an item that “somewhere safe” was so safe that it even protected the item from me.

The frustrating thing about “somewhere safe” is that once I start looking for a particular item that resides there, I see the item in my mind’s eye, and have the nagging feeling that if I just thought a little bit harder I could find its secure hiding place.

Safe

Somewhere safe?

The latest in a long list of items that I can’t seem to put my hands on is the card reader which will read Mark’s Nikon camera card.  When I was searching for the download cable, which I never found, I ran across it, and I could have sworn (another feature of “somewhere safe”) that I placed it with the other download cables that didn’t work.  It’s not there now, though.

Alien, Remote

Alien with his sinister experiment remote control

I do wonder where the pens and other stuff are being hidden until that grand glorious day when they all shower themselves upon me from Fibber McGee’s closet’s first cousin – Shangri-La, where a couple of bored monks are making life merry by watching me hunt for items they have “borrowed” through a hidden camera?  Maybe they are being stored in a secret vault buried deep in a missile silo in Nebraska or Montana as part of a secret government conspiracy.  Maybe they are being abducted by aliens as part of a sinister experiment with purpose unknown.   (Exactly how many ways can you use a plethora of pens and papers, sprinkled through with loose screws, a card reader, several books, twelve magazines and at least three chew toys?)  Maybe they are being stolen and stored by a doomsayer anxious to survive the days after the apocalypse with enough pens to see him or her through.  All I know for sure is that they can’t possibly be disappearing because I simply lose them.

Until the answers are revealed, if they ever are, open your closets with care.  I’d hate it if you got injured opening my “safe” storage cabinet by mistake.

Have a great day!

Nancy

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Posted in Government, Just stuff..., On the Home Front, working mom

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On “The Beauty of Eating Outdoors”

Posted on June 7, 2012 | Leave a comment

Good morning Everyone!

I noticed today that one of the postings that made “Freshly Pressed” yesterday was entitled “The Beauty of Eating Outdoors.”   I didn’t read the post, but the phrase did make me think.

Paris, cafe, eiffel tower

At A Paris Cafe, from Print Shop Professional 2.0

I am sure that to many of you, the idea of eating outdoors brings  pleasurable, vague feelings involving sidewalk cafes, family picnics and sunshine with a slight breeze.

Beetle

Beetles and Spiders and Bees, Oh My!

Not me.  The thought of eating outdoors brings two words to mind – bugs and heat.  Picnics are especially prone to invasion by members of the insect family, and I am an equal opportunity insect hater – I care not whether the invader is a mosquito, an ant, a bee, a wasp or even one of the almost infinite number of species of beetles.  I don’t like them.  At all.  Especially around my food or anywhere were the insect might, heaven forbid, actually touch me.  My sisters and I were so bad about the uninvited guests that come to picnics that my parents ditched the idea of family picnics except in the most exigent circumstances from the time I was 8.

heat, desert

Too Hot!

The association of heat with eating outdoors is a later addition.  The association arises because I live in the Southeast United States.  During those summer days when people in the Northeast are enjoying balmy days somewhere in the low 80’s with pleasantly light winds, we are sweltering in the 90’s with 100% or higher humidity.  This weather starts in Alabama in May and won’t really depart for good until mid-October.  When the only way to survive the heat and humidity is to run from the air-conditioned house to the air-conditioned car to the air-conditioned store to the air-conditioned office and back again, FN.  the idea of eating outside is unthinkable.   (We had a car salesman once tell my mother and sisters and I that he wouldn’t consider buying even a bicycle down here without air conditioning.)

velocipede, aerial

A bicycle with air conditioning?

So, without regret or even a second thought, I will respectfully decline the chance to experience “The Beauty of Eating Outdoors.”

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

FN.  I firmly believe that the inventor of air conditioning deserves a national holiday every bit as much as our President’s do!  Those Presidents who came from the Southeast would agree with me.

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Sweet Purple Nothings

Posted on June 5, 2012 | 7 comments

Good morning Everyone!

Here are the latest updates from the wild and wonderful world of “conversations with a ten year old.”

Purple, from Print Shop Professional 2.0

PURPLE

Riding to the movie Saturday:

Kayla:  Sneezes, then announces, “Mom, my snot is purple.”

Mom, ignoring the fact that she could have gone all day without that particular information:  You’re okay.

Kayla:  Actually, my hands are purple.

Dad: Why are your hands purple?

Kayla:  Actually its my fingers.

Dad:  Why are your fingers purple?

Kayla:  I don’t know…

Mom starts laughing, effectively ending the conversation.

Children's mischief, nothing, print shop professional 2.0

An example of the kind of “nothing” that goes on at our house…

NOTHING

Another conversational trick that Kayla has adopted lately is the convenient use of the word “nothing.”  She however is using it in a slightly different context than the designer of the word intended it to be used.  Most conversations go like this:

Mom, hearing strange and ominous sounds coming from Kayla’s bedroom:  Kayla, what are you doing?

Kayla:  Nothing.

Mom:  What kind of nothing?

Kayla, more angrily:  NOTHING!

Mom sighs, then gets up to investigate, certain to find that “nothing” actually means something, and usually something that she’d rather Kayla not be doing at the moment.

Have a great day everyone!

Nancy

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Posted in Child's Play, Out of the mouths of babes...., working mom

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Just Sayin’

Posted on June 1, 2012 | 10 comments

Good morning everyone!

Here are some observations:

1) You can know the location of every light switch in the house and what light or socket it goes to and you will still manage to turn on the garbage disposal instead of the kitchen light at least twice a week.

2) It takes a child about 10 minutes to get up, dressed and ready to go somewhere.  Multiply that number by at least 6 if you plan to get anywhere on time.

3) All dogs love to sleep.  The signal for them to get up is when you lie down.

4) Adults will irritably tell a child that has been asked to do a chore and who is stalling that the chore is just not that hard and to get on with it.  If that is true, then why aren’t the adults doing it themselves?

5) There’s nothing like moving to a new place.  Thank goodness!

6) The amount of stuff you collect is directly proportional by a factor of twelve to the number of years you live in a house. (Think about it – it will make sense in a minute.)

7) The crinkling of a chip bag is a miracle cure for all dog ailments.  It works well for minor illnesses in children, also.

8) Exactly why does it take five tries for the parental command to proceed past the child’s ears to his or brain and nervous system?

9) You never understand the concept of making a joyful noise until you turn a 10 year old loose on a keyboard when she doesn’t think anyone is paying attention.

10) I have five different sync cables around me, and a universal 3 in 1 cable I bought yesterday.  Not one of them fits the camera I need to download pictures from.

11) While beauty is in the eye of the beholder, God does great work!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Nancy

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Posted in Just stuff..., Reflection, working mom

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